Kevin Federline says there is no sex tape

November 22nd, 2006 // 48 Comments
kevin-federline-no-tape.jpg

Kevin Federline’s lawyer has issued a statement denying the existence of a reported sex tape between him and Britney Spears. He says:

“There is not a sex video of Kevin and Britney in existence. It goes without saying that the stories of Kevin attempting to sell such a video are patently false and anyone who reports that they have information of such attempts is either lying or reporting the lie of someone else.”

The porn merchant who was set to sell the tape, David Hans Schmidt, says he was contacted by the seller who “dropped the right names that made me believe he had the tape.” Although I don’t know what “the right names” means. Like Kevin Federline? Or Britney Spears? Because there’s no way anybody but the real tape owners could know those names. It’s just not possible.

superficial

  1. jrzmommy

    boo! hisss! booooo!

  2. trinket

    The lawyer’s statement that the tape is not “in existence” hints that the sentence could also read: “is not longer in existence”. My guess is that someone tipped Kev. off, informing him that blackmail is illegal. Way to get rid of that evidence. Smart.

  3. Pffft. The Federnator’s backin’ down. Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. Dude’s got nothin’ to lose, he might as well embrace the Al Bundy-ness of his existence.

  4. Jenster

    Fuck!
    I would have been first, but i had to create an account.

    It’s been said before, but he’s such a douche
    bag

  5. hisforalways

    I hate him. He’s just a complete skank.

  6. aliomali

    K-Fed is a liar? Brit, too? What is the world coming to? *sobbing*

  7. irapback

    too many idiots not enough bullets.

  8. DancingQueen

    Yo,yo,yo, me and the old lady ain’t got no sex tape yo. YouknowwhatI’msayin? I’s just playin and shit.

    F’n dirtball wigger. And straighten up your fucking hat you dipshit!

  9. minniememe

    You know Brit will slip him some cash under the table for the tape, only after he’s duped it like 50 times. Cuz there really IS a tape. Mostly of them screwing for like 10 minutes after smoking, then eating pickles and Kit-Kats for 4 hours.

  10. jrzmommy

    #7–indeedikee.

  11. RichPort

    He always has that thoughtless, amazed look… like an infant seeing something shiney for the first time.

  12. crabbie

    Is there a tape of Federline saying there’s no tape?

    http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

  13. jrzmommy

    ….He always has that thoughtless, amazed look…like the apple in the bowl of plastic fruit on my grandmother’s dining room table.

  14. bigponie

    I fucking knew it, k-fuck is backing down cause he doesn’t want the world to know how small his dick is.

  15. biatcho

    I blame this all on race because tapestock is black.

  16. carrie bradshaw

    oh great, there goes my gift as stocking stuffers

  17. 86

    Heard Britney may be moving to Florida.

  18. RichPort

    Note to Earl: it’s not a really a beard if I can still see patches of skin… I know times is hard, but buy a fucking razor, then keep running it crosswise on your throat. Thanks.

  19. jrzmommy

    17–he’s laying? down? bricks? what?

  20. Bioplant

    There’s a tape, for sure. Guaranteed.

    The only difference is that K-Fed isn’t in it. I am. And instead of Britney Spears, it’s my right hand.

    Bow chicka bow bow

  21. jrzmommy

    …..pipe? what’s he laying?

  22. bigponie

    I would have enjoyed seeing britbrit gag on something else other than her songs.

  23. 86

    I doubt its big enough to make her gag. ;)

  24. He is denying that he has a sex tape because when he sells it and the money is put into an offshore account he can deny that the tape came from him.

  25. RichPort

    He’s only denying there was a tape because the zoom function on his camera was on the fritz at the time.

  26. 86

    There is no tape, Read: “I’ve scanned it into digital format so now I don’t NEED the tape. Take that bitches.” haha.

  27. Bullfuckingshit! He just got wind of her giving it away. Well, Earl, there went your chance of ever making any money. Stupid ass idiot.

  28. DrBob2607

    Why,oh why, does Fedex always look like such a fucktard (fucktard, what a great word – it covers some much with so little). He always looks like he just crawled out from under an overpass and is about to either 1) molest your children or 2) ask you for 50 cents for a bottle of T-Bird (the drink of discerning winos and street people everywhere).
    Either that hat’s really big or he has a little pin head.. Kill him before he reproduces… Dang, too late…

  29. …eggs. He must be laying eggs.

  30. She obviously paid his white-trash ass off

    http://www.celebslam.com

  31. LoneWolf

    There is a tape. There are multiple tapes. Whether they’ll ever be released is another story. As is the quality of said tapes – I can’t imagine that they’re any better (read: interesting, erotic, or better shot) than that abortion of a “reality show” they had was.

  32. Maybe she should make sure she still has a career before she goes blowing more money.

    http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

  33. aerophyte

    no i hef to tipe wif bofe hands!?!

    I mean, when I had gay sex with Kevin last week he had convinced me that he had it!

    He’s not as ‘hard,’ this week as he was during our intimate encounter…rather flacid actually.

    Maybe he should join Mike Tyson as a package deal on the sex ranch?

    http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2006/11/16/mike_tyson_to_be_a_prostitute

  34. No SEX TAPE??? Yeah right! Of course there is a sex tape!!!

    Britney fans, try out thie Britney Federline Kaboom game:
    http://www.tacosntonic.com/flash/PlayBritneySpears.php

  35. so he really is fucked financially then,lmao!!
    too bad mtv already has rob and big cause k-fed and ruben studdard skate boarding and humping each other would be awesome! :(

    http://www.celebriteaze.blogspot.com/

  36. frenchtoaststix

    Aw, dang it. How entertaining it would have been to see a hillbilly and a wigga bumpin’ uglies.

  37. Most likely one of three things occurred…

    1) He learned that Brit was going to give it away for free and decided to just call the whole thing off.

    2) He learned that blackmail is illegal and that he was about to get into trouble.

    3) Brit gave him some money under the table to keep it off the market.

    There more than likely was a sex tape, especially when you have multiple companies bidding for it with details such as running time, what was on it, etc.

    Personally, I hope it was door number 2 and that he got a good slap on the wrist for being such an ass.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  38. veggi

    ol’ Kev remembered he stuck a chess piece up his hole and decided it wasn’t the best route to take for his bad ass rapster career.

  39. smellmybum

    There is so a sex tape.
    Here is the link.

    http://www.britney-spears-sextapes.com/

  40. Biff

    Check and mate. Kfeds on the ropes.

  41. Kristin

    Lmfao @ #13.
    =]

  42. dreamhypnotique

    So… just like his *snicker* “rap” album, there will be no sales of this sex tape, either.

    I for one hypothesize that there indeed must be a sex tape in existence showing both Britney and K-fed, but when previewed before test audiences it was revealed that people would laugh uncontrollably at his 2 inch dong. I guess getting laughed at in arenas bursting with as many as 300 confused fans that got comped free tickets couldn’t get him used to the immense comedy that serves as his aura.

  43. ATX

    Get a hat that fits already. The oversized gangsta look is so not made for “white boys” like you. I guess clowns must have clown gear to match their personalities. What a fag.

  44. FORMULA_KILLS

    OOOO U DUMMIES!!

    SHE JUST HAD A BABY AND HER BOOBS

    ARE BIG CUZ THEY ARE FULL OF MILK!!

    SHE BREASTFEEDS BOTH THE BABIES, IT’S

    CALLED TANDEM NURSING AND ITS THE BEST

    THING SHE WILL EVER DO 4 THOSE KIDS!!

    BREAST IS BEST!!

    THIS IS ALSO WHY SHE LOST WEIGHT
    SO DAMN FAST!!

    WHEN U BREASTFEED U LOSE 500 CALORIES
    A DAY!!

    THE BREAST MILK MAKES UR BABY

    -HEALTHIER( LESS SICKNESS FOR A LIFETIME )
    -SMARTER
    -HAPPIER
    -PREVENTS MOST CANCERS

    WHY DONT MOST MOMS BREASTFEED??

    CUZ THEY ARE SELFFISH!!

    GOD GAVE U BOOBS TO BREASTFEED!! OK!!

    THANK U VERY MUCH!!!

  45. ah man….the hopes of millions dashed…

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