Here’s Kevin Federline’s performance of his new single as he closed for the Teen Choice Awards last night. It’s entertaining and all, but only in the way seeing a juggler drop knives on himself is entertaining. The audience’s reaction when he finally reveals himself is priceless, like they have no idea whether they should be cheering or crying. He might as well have been the light technician, because the audience doesn’t even recognize him until the DJ tells them to make some noise.
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RTH | August 21, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Wow… how craptacular
jane's eyre | August 21, 2006 at 3:12 pm
I unfortunately caught the beginning of his “performance” last night, and I started cracking up when he calls himself a “superstar”. I couldn’t look away, it was like a freakin’ trainwreck. The only way I was able to pull myself away from it was by skewering both eyes with an icepick. It worked, but the unfortunate part is that I’m now legally blind. Good thing for me my typing skills are spectacular and I don’t need no stinkin’ eyes to type.
10pennypixel.com | August 21, 2006 at 3:15 pm
K-Fed should be dragged out into the street and shot. :)
http://www.10pennypixel.com
Carol | August 21, 2006 at 3:21 pm
I couldn’t watch more than a minute and a half of it. I almost hit the stop button when Britney came out smackin’ her gum like the hillbilly that she is.
Lexi | August 21, 2006 at 3:22 pm
“In breaking news, thousands of teens dropped dead of severe ear hemmoraging and inexplicable brain trauma at the Teen Choice Awards last night, when the performer Kevin Federline was asked for comment he only replied, “whatever, they’re all haters.” ”
OH MY GOD!! How is this loser allowed to perform in front of young impressionable children. Oh the horror! He must be stopped, think of the children!!
StanGable | August 21, 2006 at 3:22 pm
Vanilla Ice
Fugurself | August 21, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Anyone remotely interested in this shoud be anesthetized at once.
This man has hidden talent. Apparently, his pants are hiding it. He should stay home and be Mr. Mom.
@1 Craptacular, I love it :)
beesknees | August 21, 2006 at 3:34 pm
What. A. Douchebag.
Slash Cruiser | August 21, 2006 at 3:41 pm
I have great faith in the future of America.
Marhaba | August 21, 2006 at 3:48 pm
I wonder if Spears is still smacking the same wad of gum she was chewing on the Lauder interview; being “country” and all, she’d want to save the money, you know.
I have to admit that K-Fed isn’t as bad as I’d feared. Not great, but not totally terrible either. Still, it’s worth noting that he needed a leg-up from Spears.
Do Freebird | August 21, 2006 at 3:50 pm
You people should be ashamed, mocking an 112 lb. Cerebral Palsy victim like that. It must have taken an enormous amount of nerve to go out there twitching and stumbling uncontrolably.
At first I thought it wasn’t that bad, then I realize it was some anonymous black guy introducing THE MAN. Amazing how the crowd went from {WILD} to {WHAT?} in a matter of seconds.
What makes it even worse is that this will probably get him more gigs.
AmericanMcKrout | August 21, 2006 at 3:51 pm
I ALMOST pity the guy- I mean, come on- making your debut stage appearance on a Teen Choice Awards show is degrading enough, but the reaction of the audience- “Who the fuck…? Oh, isn’t he married to…? Man, this really sucks, but cuz we’re on t.v., I guess I gotta kinda pretend to get down…” I’m sure the only people truly smiling and acting like they were enjoying themselves were the seven or eight black guys he pays to hang around with him, and that was ONLY because their paychecks depend upon it.
As if being married to Britney isn’t embarrassing enough.
Ten bucks says he spent the majority of last night and today stoned out of his mind, trying to forget…
Kg | August 21, 2006 at 3:53 pm
if I had been standing in that audience and that moron had come down I would’ve dropkicked him
CelebSlam.com | August 21, 2006 at 3:58 pm
IT’S K-FED DAMMIT
http://www.celebslam.com
Linnea | August 21, 2006 at 3:59 pm
If by, “hip hop flavor mixed with rock and roll” he means “fecal matter mixed with Sean Preston’s vomit” he’s probably onto something.
PunjabPete | August 21, 2006 at 4:05 pm
#6 – This douche isn’t worth a cup of Vanilla Ice’s piss… And that is pretty sad….
Do Freebird | August 21, 2006 at 4:07 pm
Forgot to mention the best part. If you happened to be out last night and missed it, they replay the kids choice awards about 1,252 times in the next month and a half.
Oh the humanity
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 21, 2006 at 4:21 pm
It goes a long way to fueling the rumor that K-Fag was Brit’s drug supplier, as he doesn’t even dance onstage! That’s the guy’s only claim of legitimacy, other than virile sperm, and he has other dancers put on the show – lame, and suspicious. I’ve never bought this guy was a back-up dancer. Why didn’t he dance for Britney? Why hasn’t he danced in any of her videos a’la Cris Judd/J-Lo? And should his rapping even be addressed? Just another Vanilla Ice retread (which we need like another 9/11). What disturbed me most, was not his rapping, or lack of dance moves, but the response of the crowd. What do they put in those kids’ soft drinks? LSD? His album better not be successful. In spite of crap like Justin Timberlake and P-Diddy, I’d like to think the public has some strands of taste left.
RenoScarab | August 21, 2006 at 4:32 pm
The scariest part of all is that every girl in that crowd is now pregnant. The K-Fed seed knows no limits!
http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/2006/08/oops-she-did-it-again.html
nc72 | August 21, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Bahahaha. He once said Brit was his toughest critic. Yeah right…
http://www.exposay.com/kevin-federline/1/c/2390/
RichPort | August 21, 2006 at 4:40 pm
I am convinced this is the 7th sign, the coming of the apocalypse. We will probably get invaded by an alien race tomorrow who will know that now is the perfect time to strike. Thus human Meth experiment is not gangsta, not with a gum smacking prego introducing him. I’m surprised she had shoes on. I mean, if we’re willing to stoop to Federfuck’s inane attempts at convincing us he’s relevant, we deserve to become extinct. I hear that’s what happened to the dinosaurs…
Nurse Kellie | August 21, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Dicky Dickford strikes again. Will he ever just go away? This has got to be the longest 15 minutes of fame I’ve ever seen anyone ride out.
Celetina | August 21, 2006 at 5:17 pm
1) Did he seriously call himself a “superstar”?
2) The audience’s confusion is incredible to watch.
3) Look out for the people clapping in the audience who can’t decide whether they should be clapping on the beat or the backbeat.
4) Britney is the classy one in the relationship and she’s *chewing gum while she speaks in front of thousands of people*. Fabulous.
5) Other than the “superstar” thing I couldn’t make out a damn thing he said. What is he rapping about?
sharkbite | August 21, 2006 at 5:29 pm
Poor Brit.
musashi42 | August 21, 2006 at 5:44 pm
Perhaps we can start a rumour that K-Fed has been dissing Eminem; then Eminem can add to the gangster image and take this douche bag out.
Someone, please, shoot him, shoot him now.
nixy21 | August 21, 2006 at 5:56 pm
That’s five minutes of my life I’ll never get back. And yet I couldn’t look away…
cooler than you | August 21, 2006 at 6:12 pm
Does he remind you of anyone???
Vanilla Ice!
and could brit wear anything trashier??
she looks like poopy
Sarah | August 21, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Correct me if I am wrong, but did he just rhyme hip-hop with flip-flop??
Taylor | August 21, 2006 at 6:27 pm
Hey, anyone who can make me look like the most talented person in the world needs a standing ovation.
Jane_Says | August 21, 2006 at 6:34 pm
It’s pretty pathetic when you need back-up rappers to rap along with you instead of just going “yeah, yeah” in the background.
edb87 | August 21, 2006 at 6:57 pm
I don’t know about any of you, but I wanna smack Brit’s preggo boobs around.
Oh, and KFLTC. Sounds like a bad restaurant.
Justin Igger | August 21, 2006 at 7:12 pm
somebody need to kick dis white boys ass for real though i used to say i like the dumb nigger but yo dat shit was ghetto horrific dem little kids dance better
Cody(D,UT) | August 21, 2006 at 7:21 pm
Kevin “chose” that show to make his live debut? Or did the show happen to draw the short straw? At least the rest of my week HAS to be better!
stingybtchsuzy | August 21, 2006 at 7:23 pm
oops…as I was saying….magically revealed to be the Spedersperm, I was appalled that Britney’s “Mayun” not only couldn’t dance, he had no fuckn rhythm in his rap at all. And magically, the 2-chord piano riff turned back up and no one was at the piano. He would have done better to have lip-synched it. Or maybe that WAS him lip-synching his best studio-enchanced version.
I am just amazed.
stingybtchsuzy | August 21, 2006 at 7:25 pm
damn, superficial ate my post about Loretta Lynn in her nighty appearing onstage…
Cleosneedle | August 21, 2006 at 7:25 pm
I hate K-Fag!
Was that DJ Jazzy Jeff on the turntables?
PaisleyMoon | August 21, 2006 at 8:11 pm
I thought he did pretty good. The words meant something is his life. He has some realness to him that’s poignent. He’ll grow. He may even get good. He seems like a decent guy.
PaisleyMoon | August 21, 2006 at 8:11 pm
I didn’t see any audience confusion, you’re full o shit.
llynnowens | August 21, 2006 at 8:18 pm
Wow. Just what I’ve been praying for, another guy to let the youth of America know that the most important things on this planet are closets full of kicks and garages full of whips.
Jedi Kevin | August 21, 2006 at 8:37 pm
It’s K-RAP.
SuperDave | August 21, 2006 at 8:44 pm
Oh Man!! Even Milli Vanilli had more talent than that crap.
BoardBetty | August 21, 2006 at 8:51 pm
#18 – you are so RIGHT!! I wanna see proof that K-Fag was actually a dancer in some video or on some tour. Video fucking proof!
And, by dancing, I don’t mean the stoned jigglies people get when they’re jonesing for cheetos.
Alice-Mary | August 21, 2006 at 8:54 pm
37 , you are a dumbass.
He is the worst rapper I have ever, EVER witnessed drop a track. I follow rap and I can honestly tell you that he SUCKS BALLS.
And if by “a decent guy” you meant “Ass-licking no talent scrub-leech who impregnates everything in his line of vision and then gets high” then yes. He really seems like a decent guy.
schism | August 21, 2006 at 9:15 pm
I’m ashamed to say it, but I actually kind of liked that piano loop. Granted, this is only because that was the only thing that resembled music in the entire…performance, but still.
I also didn’t notice any real confusion in the audience. Come on, this is the Teen Choice Awards; they’d clap and cheer for a monkey banging on a snare drum if some pseudo-celebrity told them to. Although, they did seem to be cheering for the dancers more than K-Fed.
lomies | August 21, 2006 at 9:19 pm
Ok ok, he kinda reminds me of Fred Durst up there on stage. Fred Durst was also a joke. A joke is only funny the first time around.
Plus this is just bad.
Plus PaisleyMoon is probably Britney giving you the finger.
Chef | August 21, 2006 at 10:38 pm
@ “craptacular”:
I was thinking more along the lines of “craptastic” but its the same general sentiment.
This guy is like Vanilla Ice, but worse and more white trash. (I had no idea that was even possible!)
30kdm | August 21, 2006 at 10:50 pm
This guy is a clown. All that’s is missing are the big clown shoes. This guy is the luckiest 30 Thousand Dollar Millionaire ever!
http://www.30thousanddollarmillionaire.com
KelKel | August 21, 2006 at 11:28 pm
2 words: White Trash….no wait,um Trailer Trash…better yet Wanna Be…or Freakin BUM.And if Brit ever wakes up…Job Less!
beanncheese | August 21, 2006 at 11:29 pm
When is this guy going to stop being news. Who cares. How many times can you say “Stupid”.
http://www.spoonspam.com
Browchay | August 22, 2006 at 2:04 am
Why would you do that to us ? We come here and read the Superficial to be entertained, sometimes to laugh, sometimes to cry, sometimes in sympathy, sometimes in disdain.
This was just plain shit. K-Fud needs to learn to cook and stay at home feeding the K-Kids…