Kevin Federline might not be as great as he thinks he is

Despite being the greatest artist of our generation and the most underrated person in Hollywood – or the planet Earth for that matter – so few $20 tickets have been sold for Kevin Federline’s Nov. 4 show that sources at Webster Hall say “we may just cancel it. New Yorkers are clearly not fans of ‘Popozao’ [Federline’s pathetic first single].” Additionally, his Cleveland show was also canceled due to lack of interest.

I refuse to believe it. I’ve heard Popozao. I’ve seen the madness caused by its lyrical genius and bumpin’ beats. It’s as if Kevin Federline managed to reach out and touch God himself. And then grabbed him, ate him, and squeezed him out of his butthole in musical format. Only replace ‘God’ with feces. Because the song’s creation seems only possible by the processing of feces into even more concentrated feces. It’s that feces-tacular.