Kevin Federline makes more money than you

July 13th, 2006 // 65 Comments

In Touch Weekly reports Kevin Federline is trying to pull in some extra cash by charging $20,000 to appear at events. Additionally, Federline has reportedly made $700,000 in the last four months: $250,000 for endorsing Blue Marlin clothing, $25,000 per day to promote Virgin Mobile cell phones, and negotiating to sign a deal with Jive Records for $300,000 per album.

Who are the people that are paying this guy to show up to their events? Maybe the launch party for Hobo Living Weekly? Or the annual conference for White People Who Think They’re Black? If you really want Kevin Federline to show up to your event you can save a little money and just take a crap in the middle of the floor. Then introduce the pile of warm feces as Kevin Federline and your guests will never know the difference. They might even comment he’s looking more cleaned up than usual.


  1. Fugurself

    What a ball sac!!

  2. rolson


  3. jrzmommy

    But…but…but he’s an ASSHOLE!

  4. pop

    is the service called ‘rent-a-cletus’?

  5. jane's eyre

    *sigh*…what’s happened to America, where scuzzy, cheating, child-abandoning, no redeemable qualities people like this cretin get paid 1000x more money than the rest of us decent people?

  6. jrzmommy

    On an unrelated topic…well, except that it’s about another assclown….
    “LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — “Trapped in the Closet,” the controversial “South Park” episode that skewers Scientology and its popular proponent Tom Cruise, is hitting the airwaves again.

    Comedy Central plans to air the Emmy-nominated episode on July 19. It was last scheduled to rerun in March but was abruptly pulled by the network.

  7. Doxes

    Cornrows are not for white people. That white scalp showing through makes me faintly nauseous.

  8. BoredStiff

    If you had to name the one thing wrong with the good ole’ U.S.A…..It’s that a complete d-bag like kevin fagerline can have this happen

  9. rolson

    Hey, Fugurself…you are the ball sac!

  10. Fugurself

    Reminds me of Pauly Shore’s quote
    “So you’re inbred? where your mom is your aunt and your dad is your brother”

  11. Fugurself

    Rolson, you shouldn’t be posting shit like “2nd” if you don’t have anything to say. Your comments are as relevant as a covered wagon.

  12. hopeless_screenwriter

    This picture reminds me of the time I read an article with Kevin in ‘Stamp Collector’s Quarterly’. I never knew that Kevin was also an avid stamp collector, when asked how he got into the hobby his response was, “If ya can’t join ‘em, lick ‘em and stick ‘em”! My sentiments exactly. Now if you’ll excuse I’m gooing to take the rest of the week off to go camping with my friend Rick.

  13. Italian Stallion

    SF guy was right. I just took a shit on the floor in my buddys office and when he came back from lunch he said “Why the hell is Kevin Federline in my office sleeping and who authorized this.”
    We all just laughed, and laughed……….

  14. Once, I got paid like 3000 Yen to eat 3 of my friends pubes… Look out Federline, look out World, Ryan is going get his pay-day!

  15. ptprez

    this ass-wipe’s only talent is turning a semi-hot, little talent pop star into a fat whiney pig…he should be working one of those “break the balloons with the darts” game at the county fair…

  16. jrzmommy

    $25K a day….that’s a lot of St. Ides.

  17. Italian Stallion

    How would you circumcise Kevin Federline?

    Punch his sister in the jaw……….

  18. Justin Igger

    This guy tries to hard to be Justin Igger!!

  19. Fugurself

    #13 that is some funny shit

  20. AnastasiaBeaverhausen

    What’s he gonna do with all that money? I mean, how many mobile homes does one need?

  21. RichPort

    Tthe joke’s on us, he’s more of a playa than I thouhgt. For $700K I’d wash her untouchable feet like Ghandi… for $700K I’d… endorse fruity clothes and practice my best gangsta ice grill face… pull needles out of Brit’s feet… I’d throw Sean Preston around and blame it on bad parenting… go down on Brit while her cousin from down south pays her the monthly visit… I’D cry in front of Matt Lauer… move to Weezyana… I could do this all day

  22. hopeless_screenwriter

    You should see how hot he is in a cowboy outfit.

  23. Italian Stallion

    @19 literally…….

  24. tits_on_snack

    Yay. Here i am hoping I can afford the esteemed luxury of buying groceries this week, and people are paying this embarassingly untalented spoiled manbaby $25,000 a day to go to parties.

  25. bigponie

    ahhh yes k-fed, anna nicole’s wonder pupil

  26. rolson

    Hey Fugurself, you are my bitch.

  27. bigponie

    if you invested stock money in Blue Marlin Clothing, I suggest you sell, sell, sell.

  28. We as consumers should fuck him. We should get the contact info to Blue Marlin, Virgin Mobile and Jive Records and start an internet petition that they drop him as their “spokeswigger”. Like any executive would waste a breath defending this lout, they would void his contract immediately. Instead of bitching about this cocksucker, we should chanel our disgust and hatred to a more positive end. BTW – Britney has an orange pussy from all the times K-Fag’s fingerbanged her while eating Cheetos.

  29. Lush

    sometimes i sit down at my desk, get on the superficial website, ready for a laugh to brighten my day, and read stories like this that make me cry. a lot. really. kevin federline should do the world a favor a publicly crucify himself or something. then anyone who has ever provided him with any type of income should be forced to eat his remains. hows that for an investment douche bags?

  30. jFp

    It would seem there are more than just one sucker born every minute.

  31. Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest


    I mean he took the hottest pop sensation at the time, threw her a line or 2 and next thing you know BAM! He’s spending money like its toilet paper and knocks her up not once but TWICE! To top it off he’s your average white trash motherfucker. How could you not LOVE this guy??? I know I do.

  32. PapaHotNuts

    I bought my 4 year old son a new puppy. I asked him, “Son, what are you going to name your new puppy dog?”
    He said, “Daddy, I think I’ll name him Kevin. Kevin Ferderline.”
    I kicked my son in the face and threw the dog in the river. True story.

  33. hopeless_screenwriter

    Papa, what kind of dog? Did it have corn rolls? Did your son cry?

  34. hopeless_screenwriter

    I finally found out what a ‘Raspberry Jam’ is quite disturbing.

  35. PapaHotNuts

    It was a mutt. And no he didn’t cry, I don’t allow crying in my house. Unless it comes from the basement and that is a totally different story.

  36. $300,000 per album?!?!? LOL!!!!! Ok, when somebody like Clay Aiken signs contracts for Millions per album. Also, they aren’t telling you that they dock the cost of promoting the record from that so he could wind up with nothing if the thing doesn’t sell.
    Am I wrong or does he make Colin Farrell look hygenic?

  37. K’Fed=AssClown.

  38. Some folk’ll never eat a skunk
    But then again, some folk’ll
    Like K-fed the slack-jawed yokel

  39. kickservebt

    I’ve heard this guy talk several times on TV. I can’t imagine paying even $1 to hear anything this complete buffoon has to say…

  40. ms0pinion8ed

    # 27 – lol.

  41. ValeWolf

    Only in America…

  42. ESQ

    I am waiting to see the day this douche hooks up with Paris Hilton. Now there is a headline for you “K-Fed is now K-Fucked for getting some unknown STD for Parasite Hilton.”

  43. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    41. ummm actually ‘famous’ people who do fuck all for a living get paid ridiculous sums of money for turning up places and advertising products all over the world. You just don’t know this because you don’t have a passport. muppet.

  44. Doxes

    #38 – lol

  45. what a stud! check out this parody of kfed and his babymaker girlfriend.

  46. bunnyhugger

    okay, now i’m just sick.

    and not in a good way.

    can you imagine being invited to an event proclaiming “SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY SURPRISE GUEST!’
    and finding out it was this douche?
    i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  47. hyped1

    This is so fucking sad it actually made me sign up to comment on it!

    I agree completely with the impossible nature of discerning Federline from a a steaming turd!

    If you hire someone to show up at an event it’s either casue they have something useful or entertaining to say like in the case of hiring maybe Bill Gates or something or because kids love them and they are beloved icons like bozo the clown, mickey mouse, or michael jackson!

    Capitalism is amazing ain’t it??

  48. stingybtchsuzy

    he looks like he’s shit in his pants.

  49. lovelylayla

    @35 Papa I love you….take me to your basement!

  50. He’s a skank, just like my homeowners association. He’d fit right in on the board of directors. Or maybe the property management company is hiring.

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