Kevin Federline looks really really weird

May 31st, 2006 // 255 Comments

The folks at Item magazine took K-Fed and cleaned him up for their upcoming issue. And the results are shocking. It’s amazing what a sleazy goatee can do, because all they did was shave it off and suddenly he’s unrecognizable. It’s like I’ve forgetten he’s a douchebag and want to discuss serious sociopolitical and economic issues with him or something. But then he’d start talking and acting like K-Fed again and I’d remember why I want to karate kick him the neck. And then I would. And then everybody would applaud my heroism and possibly give me a medal.



  1. I love K-fed's Corn Rolls

    He looks like Ashton Kutcher, I don’t know who to feel sorry for, him or Ashton.

    I knew the only reason the cheeto eating lardo is with him is because he has a big cock… this proves it.

  2. I love K-fed's Corn Rolls


  3. hotintempe

    He actually looks very good in those photos. Now I can see why Brit doesnt want to let him go. I bet she hasnt even seen him cleaned up before.

  4. HughJorganthethird

    Watch out kids he’s a douche in geeks clothing

  5. hurley

    he looks like a cute news anchor.

  6. perfectanglovesgodlol

    sorry still think hes still looks like a pile of crap oh ya kinda like his new image is a pile of crap hes still k-fag and hes still doing cheeto eating brit and right as we speak probably redecorating his white trash house with beer can lights

  7. pirhan


  8. ptprez

    would you buy a used car from that man???

  9. Dahlia

    He is a mixture of Ashton Kutcher, Noah Wiley, and a used car salesman, and he looks like he wants to cut me a deal.

  10. ebayfan414

    I don’t think he looks good. Better? Yes. Good? No. He actually looks like a huge dork. But remember, this is just a picture. Seeing him in person is a whole new story. When that old man walks up to him and says, “Why hello, young sir, you look like someone I can discuss politics with! So what do you think of…” he will be hugely shocked when that k-fed mouth opens and he hears a voice with a gangsta accent go “you old raisin ah aint got no ahdea what u iz toe kin bout, so clam up da chowduh mouth and zip it like it’s hot, fo shizzle. Anycheeto, ah gotsa go spend some more uh britneys kachinguleeng if ya catch ma driftins. peace bruduh!”

  11. Ari

    He’s still got the beady eyes though. He does look exactly like a used car salesman.

  12. EvilFiend

    Is that the $300,000 watch? It looks like a $3 piece of shit!

  13. Pilarica

    ewwwwww!!! A clean ewww, that is.

  14. BoardBetty

    What in the fuck are CORN ROLLS???

    Geez #2, did you grow up in a cave or some freaky Mormon cult family?!?!? Everyone knows they’re called corn ROWS!!!!

  15. Jenna

    Christ almighty….I don’t see it, not at all. That can’t be him. White trash can’t be converted! Not even Britney could do it!!!!! Oh….wait, sorry, that’s cause she’s white trash too

    He looks far too much like Ashton Kutcher….poor Ashton

  16. Binky

    Now he looks gay as well

  17. aivilo


    well shave my head and call me Beatrice. I am quite surprised.

  18. ptprez

    that’s a nice watch he has on though…

  19. Italian Stallion

    Waldo might be a little harder to find now……

  20. alaskanchicsickle

    Ryan Seacrest has some new beat off material.

  21. amdy

    Look how long his freakin’ thumb nails are….

  22. susie

    OMG! He looks GREAT!!! Holy shit, he looks like he has potential in these photos! I have a crush on him just looking at this clean cut picture of him. And usually I hate the stupid idiot. Yeah I know what you mean, I just want to start talking business and economics with him. I have the sudden urge to listen to him with some approval and respect. Damn, what’s going on?
    He looks like a better version of freddie prince.


  23. LinguisticAnthro

    He looks more like Chris Klein than Ashton Kutcher.

  24. Italian Stallion

    ” I could shit in a box and put a guarantee on it, but really all your getting is a guaranteed piece of shit.”

    I bet Farley would say the same thing about this piece of shit…….

  25. Si Klegg

    Look at the long fingernail on his index finger!

  26. winky

    Woah. That’s K-Fed??? I’m in disbelief and shock. He looks almost normal and CLEAN!!!! yikes i can’t stop looking at him. he ain’t even wearing a wife beater. no wonder i can’t believe it’s him

  27. M

    Personally I think he looks like a sleasy used car salesman. Which is still a step up for K-Fed.
    You know, the kind that looks down your shirt while you are making the final signatures…
    Or maybe that just happens to me….

  28. SilverBaked

    LOL #14. awhhh, poor k-fag. it aint like he’s hot, but damn, he cleaned up real gooood.

  29. He looks like Ashton Kuthcer

  30. sweetcheeks

    You can polish a turd, but it’s still a TURD.

  31. OH Good God! I can’t believe I’m about to type this but… I’d actually contemplate (for a minute, until he opened his mouth) doing him.

  32. bunnyhugger

    boardbetty #14
    i don’t post very often, but good god, woman, IT’S A FUCKIN’ JOKE!
    and corn rolls are delicious with honey butter.

    on topic, you can take the trash out of the trailer, but you can’t take the trailer out of the trash.

    always 100% PETA free!!!

  33. Shelley Bonnechance

    If there’s a remake of the old television show “My Three Sons” in the works, K-Fed is a shoo-in for the role of Chip. Yeeesh….

  34. bunnyhugger

    that fingernail is for those really resistant boogers. somebody should make a tools for that. oh. tool. k-fucked.


  35. bunnyhugger

    you nailed that one! i think its the suit, tho…..

  36. bunnyhugger


  37. Fa Cube Itches

    I think my firm might have just hired that guy….

  38. sweetcheeks

    “… like a monkey in a cowboy suit!”

  39. Crafty

    Hmm….I thought long man-nails were for pimps and coke dealers.

    And damn him for looking pretty fucking good!

  40. Now no one’s going to be able to recognize him..what’s the purpose of that? It’ll be, sure, he looks okay for the article, but when he goes back to his usual scuzzy ghetto self, he’ll look even worse by comparison. Not smart.

  41. Aldyn

    He looks even uglier.

    Didn’t think that was possible.

  42. ellaminnowpea

    he’s got a smirk that’s a cross between gay Kevin Spacey & a little bit ‘o Bruce Willis

  43. fifi_butchymuscle

    He kind of looks like he’s in a menswear catalog. I half expect a chick in a suit to mosey up next to him and strike a pose. The next page of the “magazine” probably shows him doing business-y, candid photos, like the very forced, on the phone looking into the distance; the discussion with a colleague at the water cooler; and the intense boardroom discussion.
    I honestly think I am more comfortable with him in the unwashed wifebeater and cargo pants that we all know and love.

  44. sweetcheeks

    It looks like Tony Robbins took a dump in a $2,000 suit.

    “Unleash the Power Within, my niggaz!”

  45. ellaminnowpea

    I think he’s doing a test run of the suit for his turn in front of the judge in Divorce Court…and I’ll bet he’s practicing crying the blues in front of the mirror every chance he gets.
    He’s still a mofo!

  46. krisdylee

    a bag of shit that’s dressed in a suit is still a bag of shit.

  47. Juliana's love

    he looks exceptionally gay in these pics…he looks like tom cruise ( tcltc) is tickling his taint in the first pic. Gross..die k-fag

  48. suzy

    if only he could act like a gentlemen.. then i’d take him seriously…

    why did britney go for this jackass?

  49. machsnell

    That is not K-Fed. Not even on a good day.

  50. ob1

    LOL @ 18 very niiiice.

    Ever heard the saying……….”you can’t polish a turd”?

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