Kevin Federline is still alive

June 13th, 2006 // 97 Comments

britney-spears-kevin-federline-together.jpgKevin Federline has been photographed with Britney Spears and Sean Preston for the first time in over three months. It’s nice of Britney to let him out of the basement long enough to pose for cameras and pretend their marriage isn’t a complete sham, but she could’ve dressed him up a bit more. Although I guess if Kevin showed up looking like a functioning member of society as opposed to an online predator people might suspect it was all just a show for the media. It’d be like Gary Coleman suddenly being photographed with money. Or not crying. Society just isn’t ready to accept it.

NOTE: It’s hard to make fun of K-Fed without his signature goatee. He almost looks like a legitimate human being and it’s really throwing me off.

Source

superficial

  1. WorldWideWendy

    Lordy- am I first?Brittany, baby and husband. yawn.

  2. WorldWideWendy

    I have to tell you- he looks like a guy who works in an office, or at a petrol station, or who sells wall to wall carpet.He’s a rapper right? That’s not ‘wrapper’ is it. as in, “hi, I’m kevin, I’m here to wrap things for you- thanks for shopping at Woolworths”?

  3. pinochio

    almost first

  4. DollxFace

    How lame, all the talk got him to come out and be photographed with Britney.
    Die already.

  5. pinochio

    brit needs to get hot again.

  6. I am truly amazed! Britney has a) combed her hair, b) not showing off a black bra (not as far as I can tell anyway) and c) pushing a stroller. Even K-Fed looks relatively normal. Who ever thought a day like this would ever come?

    Love SP’s shirt, by the way.

  7. DollxFace

    I just noticed Britney’s head looks like The Brain’s head, from Pinky And The Brain.

  8. Philip Ramirez

    So damn early…

  9. prettypantz

    I hate K-Fed more than life itself, but at least for once SP doesn’t look like he’s about to take yet another vertical dive to the pavement. Kevin is holding the baby in an almost fatherly grip, whereas Brit’s style usually involves dragging the kid around by one leg, like the proverbial caveman she so closely resembles nowadays.

    I did find it special that Brit was considerate enough to put SP in a shirt with his name on it, so as to make it easier for Kevin to distinguish this child from the other 32 kids he’s got stashed away. Hey, c’mon, give K-Fed a break–babies all look alike, remember?

  10. BarbadoSlim

    They look as trashy and unwashed as ever, not even good enough to be featured on COPS, more suited to Real Stories of The Highway Patrol.

  11. coolbeannes

    Can we talk about the “Sean P” jersey?
    You would think Kfed could steal enough money from Brit to get something better than a wife beater … and who still has a beeper?!

  12. BarbadoSlim

    What we have her folks is a perfect female specimen of the Cowtus-Hefferus-southernicus species. Notice the bloated bosoms, the tall hair, inflated neck and canckles. Of course you can also observe the male drone, carrying their offspring, who will be devoured as soon as the litter reaches the second phase of their development cycle or “walking stage.”

  13. SoupaSarah

    I love Sean Preston hes the cutest baby in the world, I really want to steal him :$. I bet K-Fed is amazed he finally has a white baby.

  14. HughJorganthethird

    I K-fid would just stick to banging her gunt he wouldn’t have all these young’uns to worry about

  15. This is the most jacked up thing ever. What would have been a normal kid otherwise is now son to a drooling loony, raging with preggo hormones and uh… whatever kevin is supposed to be. Maybe the whitest rapper ever. And given M&M is an albino, that’s really saying something.

  16. GDoggie

    Britney needs to stop leaving the house looking like shit. She knows she’s gonna be photographed when she’s out. She has millions, she can afford to take a little time to fix her hair and put on something decent. What a piece of trash, christ.

  17. sissybelle

    All I can say is that when Brit-Brit’s with her new studly ‘manny,’ she looks MUCH happier, SP looks much happier and K-Fool probably looks much happier (wherever it is he USUALLY holes up — the basement, is it?) They all appear to be suffering a fate worse than death in these pics.

  18. Shelley Bonnechance

    I don’t think K looks like a functioning member of society, Superfish Guy. I think he looks, as always, like a shifty-eyed, skeevy wanker; the kind of person who would much rather be carrying a malt liquor than a baby.

    And Britney….Britney….

    When I think of how pretty she used to be and how pretty she still *can* be, it makes me feel like smacking her when I see her going about looking like she just got finished scrubbing toilets.

    I’m not one to get on her for gaining some weight because I’ve been pregnant and had babies and weight gain can happen. But this general air of unkemptness and smelly armpits and ironed clothes and bed-hair….*sigh*

  19. Shelley Bonnechance

    Whoops. That was supposed to be UNironed clothes in #18. Although Britney’s clothes don’t so much look as if they’re unironed, I suppose….more like they’ve been slept in. UGH!

  20. saltpeanuts

    Pregnant or not, that hillbilly will never again have a skinny neck. But, on a positive note, that means she has a nice sized asophygus for deep throating. But, on a negative note, I might feel like I was deep throating a linebacker, which would be a turn-off.

  21. TaiTai

    #9 putting Sean P on the back of the kid’s shirt does sound like a good idea at first, until you realize that would require K-Fed to be actually literate.

  22. steenie

    White Trash Trailer Park Icons

  23. Amy

    It doesn’t matter how Britney looks, as long as she’s happy. I just hope she finds happiness someday soon. If Kevin just put his head and heart into it, he could be a great husband and father.

  24. sissybelle

    After spawning several children all over So-Cal and apparently largely ignoring them except for photo ops, I would venture a guess that Kevin is not really ‘into’ concentrating on being a great father. Generating masterpieces like POPAZAO are much more important, in the grand scheme of things. But perhaps I’m just being cynical …

  25. frangly

    Okay, the very sight of K-Fed is usually enough to make me urp my morning corn flakes, but I have to say that without his STUPID beard he looks…well, *gorgeous*! Holy shit, what a difference a razor makes!!

  26. IFuckingHateYou

    SF, please don’t post any more about these two until one has killed the other.
    I’m putting my money on Britney killing K-Fed and stashing the body – she is country you know and they do things just a little different in the country.

  27. ChickenScratch

    #11 I think that’s a garage door opener..?!?

    They still look like shit to me. This is too easy, it’s like taking candy from a baby.

    Have a good day everyone, I’m off to work!

  28. RichPort

    He’s squinting because he hasn’t seen sunlight in weeks. That, or after weeks in solitary masterbating in his own feces, he has come out to find his wife one box of Ms Clairol away from looking like a fat version of Beeker from the Muppets.

  29. Italian Stallion

    Wow, that looks like Britney Spears. It’s amazing what a little makeup can do to a fat guy…….

  30. trulymadlydeeplytori

    no no, it isnt that hard to still make fun of him. there’s plenty of ammo still

  31. twzzlrgirl

    #28 — lol. She does look like Beeker!!

    Ugh, it’s hard to say which one I’d be more embarrassed to be seen with.

    But Sean P. is adorable — poor kid. Once he realizes who his parents are he’s going to pray to be kidnapped by aliens.

  32. kandyk0119

    Although K-Feds hair is cut, it looks like he hasn’t washed or combed it since he did that photoshoot.

  33. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    As much as you can say about K-Fed, at least he’s knows how to hold a baby when he’s drunk.

  34. BarbadoSlim

    buurrby burrby buurrby

  35. chryssy11

    OMG! She has a stroller…..she must have taken that from the basement as well. Two words for you Brit….USE IT…..

    Now that could go for many things;

    Stroller for Sean
    Birth control
    shampoo
    brush
    soap
    deodorant
    your gift card to Wal*Mart

    The list could go on…..but I know how annoying it is to read the nonsense that people sometimes post that takes 3 hours to read and most people just scroll down anyway……kinda like you are doing now……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Point proven….. Have a nice day, and like someone posted earlier…..don’t post anymore about these guys unless one has killed the other…..

  36. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Q: Why does Britney always look like she needs to take a giant shit?

    A: Because she does.

  37. chryssy11

    Ok…so the Superficial likes to edit…..that will explain the lack of humor to my post….. *pout*

  38. gatorbates

    Wow. Nice jersey kid. I think the back should have read “Mommy’s Mistake” instead.

  39. BigJim

    KFed is forever wearing wife beaters, but does he really beat his wife?

    God, I hope so.

  40. I wouldn’t trust him to be carrying such precious cargo. Then again, I don’t trust Britney much more.

    http://www.wehateeverybody.com

  41. blueballs

    The reason Brit let KFED out from his Desperate Housewive’s mock basement dungeon pad is that for the first time, KFED actually looks better than Brit. She needs his handsome looks around him. I must say that it’s good pr to have cleaned KFED up. He does look good and will get the gay sympathizers to help rehab his image.

    Give the pr people a raise!

  42. Jacq

    She is definitely keeping him in the basement. He seems totally disoriented by te sun and I guarantee that he has no idea what he’s holding.

    The media says we’re breaking-up! 1. Schedule softball interview with Matt Lauer. 2. Cry. 3. Put away Manny. 4. Take a walk with hubby. If that doesn’t convince you that they’re “awesome” together, I don’t know what would.

  43. I think he looks pretty good with out the facial hair! I can’t wait to see her interview on the Today show….gonna be good stuff!

  44. pseudonym

    Will this family implode already!

  45. Aimtrue

    Why doe she have a cell phone clipped to his waist. Who is calling k-Fed? Keep waiting by the phone jackass

  46. Jacq

    How can SF guy say that K-Fed almost looks like a legitimate human without the goatee? Did he NOT get a good look? Even his kids aren’t legitimate! SNAP!

  47. pseudonym

    What’s that on the side of K Fed’s shorts? Looks like a GPS tracker. Yeah, he’s definitely being held against his will. Maybe Britney’s keeping him as her sex slave because she knows no one else will bang her.

  48. this guy makes ‘the manny’ look butch…

  49. who are we kidding…he’d even make the tranny (alexis arquette) look butch…

  50. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I think K-Fed looks like Ty from that Extreme Home Makeover show without his goatee, but a pasty, man-slave version of Ty with more of a douche essence.

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