Kevin Federline is going to get body slammed

October 16th, 2006 // 60 Comments

In case you want to watch the greatest thing on TV tonight you should check out Monday Night Raw where Kevin Federline is set to be body slammed by WWE wrestler John Cena.

Introduced as the “A-list friend” of bad guy Johnny Nitro, Federline played the villain as he walked to the ring amid boos from the crowd. “Same people who are booin’ me now buy my picture on the cover of magazine,” he told the audience. “Y’all want to hear my rap?” When the boos continued, he replied, “Well, you’re going to have to wait until my record drops in October.” At that point, WWE champion John Cena came out, taunting Federline in classic wrestling smack-talking style with such lines as, “The album is called Playing With Fire? They should call it The Biggest Scumbag on Earth!” and “You’re less talented than Paris Hilton!” In response, Federline made a comment about wanting to see Cena’s rear end dragged around the ring. Then the 6′ 1″, 240-lb. Cena pretended to shake Federline’s hand before lifting him in the air and dropping him to the mat in a body slam.

If Kevin Federline doesn’t make it in the music industry he can always make a living getting beat up on TV shows. The demand is high enough they could even give him his own show. Throw in a recurring character that hits him in the crotch with a wooden mallet and you’ve got the next Seinfeld.


  1. screammylungzout

    hahahha awesome

  2. Mtg Babe

    this is a joke….this guy is a joke..kevin will you please just desappear from our lives forever? Please !!!!I beg of You!!!
    Do it for the sake of human nature>

  3. Binky

    An “‘A-list friend’ of bad guy Johnny Nitro” ? Wow.
    That’s like winning the Nobel Peace Prize or something down there isn’t it?
    But is he now K-dead ?

  4. Starfruit Gossip


  5. NipsyHustle

    oh i wish the iron sheik would come out of retirement and put the camel clutch on kfed. priceless.

  6. He must’ve dropped his cigarette and coca-cola

  7. Ed Bambrick

    Federslime is a wart on the ass of humanity- he must be reported, found & exterminated.

    P.S. – His wife is a fat fucking whore.
    P.P.S. – So is my wife!

  8. xx.deathcab.xx

    Just like Ashlee Simpson at the fucking Superbowl.

  9. loagun

    In other news, did anyone see the new Britney Spears? She’s skinny again. Now she just needs to loose the loser hubby n she’ll be back to normal.

    here she is

  10. Italian Stallion

    “Cuz the boy’s in the hood are always hard, come talking that shit and we’ll body slam you hard, knowin nothing in life but to be legit, don’t quote me boy, I’m K-Fedshit”

    “Punk ass trippin but it’s all right, Kevin scored a Spear, he’s gonna be paid the rest of his life”…………..

  11. assfacecocknocker

    fuk it, i kik his ass too!

    i kool.

  12. @11 – Daaamn Stallion, you be kickin it N.W.A. style!

  13. ReallyNotOkay

    Yes! Finally!! I really need to watch it now.

  14. losenord

    Why? Why? Why?
    Why? Why?
    Why? Why?

  15. Hopefully his next TV show will be with Jeff Corwin, swimming with sting rays or playing bait with Great Whites………

  16. Regnig

    Um.. even though the story is true (hubby watches wrestling) the quotes are way off.. more of a paraphrase.

    BUT! KFed was bodyslammed, how much better can that get??

  17. misterveryze

    Has anyone told this motherfucker that wiggers are gay??

  18. misterveryze

    …I mean wigger in the Christian sense of the word of course.

  19. Wow, that could be the perfect job for him. He is the guy everyone loves to hate. Who would have thought he could have a place in society.

    Maybe next he could be the “pie in the face” guy at a carnival, or maybe stand with an apple on his head and have someone throw knives… you know random people from the crowd.

    Just goes to show there is a place for everyone.

  20. sexybitch

    I suppose it’s too much to pray for permanent nutsack damage. For Christ’s sweet sake, something has to stop him before he breeds again. Figures he would hook up with the human Pez dispenser that is Spears.

  21. Please throw in a drop-kick. I wish he would’ve starred in Jackass 2… such great sharkbait he makes.

  22. Cena’s career just gained another $5000.00 a week in endorsements for bitch slapping a hollywood pillow boy. Excellent!

  23. Danklin

    Didn’t Britney do the same thing to her first son?

  24. Danklin

    “Nitro does that make you mad? You aint got the nuts to hit me. If it wasnt for K-fed, i’d be spearing Britney”

    Ah who writes this wonderful stuff?

  25. #22 – Thanks CooterPunch, that’s 5 minutes & 51 seconds of your life that you owe me for those three videos I sat through due to your urging.

    @16 – I think Stallion meant Steve Irwin?
    (Now we’re even… known/knowing)

  26. All Powerful Wizard Of Oz

    I doubt K-fed will really make it as anything but a professional assclown, which really doesn’t say much since this is something he does not really have to work hard at being. It’s sort of like asking a monkey to act like a monkey. It’s pointless and doesn’t make much sense since it’s in its nature to act like a monkey because that’s what it is and it wouldn’t understand you anyway if you asked it to act like a monkey since it doesn’t speak the English language. Much like K-Fed.

  27. I see the work of Edna in this. Perhaps that wacky old bitch is right and the evil ones shall be brought before The Lord and ye they shall be cast out (in this case out of the ring).

  28. hendero

    At least the likes of David Hasselhoff, Mr. T and Pam Anderson had actual careers before becoming parodies of themselves. Kfed is such a sack of shit he couldn’t even manage that

  29. JBean

    He’s almost as ridiculous as The Superfish’s new background.

  30. jrzmommy

    fake or not, I believe I heard a choir of angels singing.

  31. RichPort

    I can’t stand either one of these Marky Mark channeling beeotches. Each pays some anonymous Black kid to write their gangsta shit, but at least Cena takes HGH to make it appear that he’s relevant. These two blonkey poster boys need to here a few Nirvana CDs… That said, I hope Cena ass reamed him in the dressing room… WWE: We’re Wiggers Everyday!

  32. RichPort

    here…? Fucking weed!

  33. I’ve heard of pulling punches, but pulling a body slam? Also, he was probably wearing body armor underneath, plus being baked on Percocet to numb the boo boos.

    This evolutionarily-disadvantaged, white-trash, cheeto-scarfing, Britney-fucking, ass-raping, shallow-gene pool spreading, Richard Simmons look-alike mother fucker needs a real-life body slamming. Followed by multiple kicks to the head.

    I may be only 6 feet and 200 pounds (I stay away from the juice), but I volunteer to deliver a biblically righteous punishment upon his vile person for all to see and rejoice in.

    Can I get a Hallelujah?

  34. Come on, body slams are fake! Unless it’s a major “clothesline” or “DDT”, he’s not gonna get hurt.

    Get Yokozuna in there and NOW we’re talking!

  35. BigJim

    Time to break out the grammar police again.


    “lose”: to misplace something

    “loose”: yo momma’s snatch

  36. pinky_nip

    What’s the big deal?

    He gets body slammed everytime he fucks that beast of a wife of his.

  37. @27 Steve Irwin is dead you inconsiderate bastard, how would he go on that show? I meant what I said, nice try though………

  38. jrzmommy


  39. Dr.Rokter

    Hmm. A few months away from this site, and it’s still on about K-Fed? I had half hoped he had been found dead in his pool by now.

    I remember when professional wrestling was about the sport, not just a bunch of cheap, tawdry gimmickry. For shame.

  40. RichPort

    Isn’t Jeff Corwin that Dirty Jobs guy? If so, he can follow the Spears housecleaning crew for his next Discovery channel show, and describe how disgusting it is to chip dried Cheetos dust off of ornately adorned door knobs. Then he can help the Spears laundry crew try to remove the racing stripes from K Fuck’s boxers and attempts to fold Britney’s queen-sized bed sized knickers…

  41. GirlyGirl

    He reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. TOTAL LOSER. Hoarf!

  42. jrzmommy

    Professional wrestling is about as unevloved as you can get in the entertainment spectrum……he’s a perfect match for it. Disenfranchised, culturally- confused, future meth-addict, white trash, overly-aggressive adolescent boys are the main demographic for this shit. And the girls who “love” him……peroxide-blonde, mall-perm, Wet ‘N Wild Makeup wearing, future unwed teen mothers with at least one STD who smoke Newports and think it’s ladylike to fight. Perfect genre for him.

  43. BigJim

    “mall perm”

    Good one.


    Wow punched in CSI, body slammed on by a professional wrestler, having his wife promote his CD…This guys sure knows how to make a living.

  45. I sure hope that Cena fucked it up and dropped him too hard. Kind of hard to enjoy “Popozao” when you are confined to a wheelchair.

  46. sjb16

    My boyfriend watches wrestling religiously and we taped the show last night w/ Dish Network. I’m not a huge fan of wrestling but to see his sorry white-trash @$$ get body-slammed so made up for it. I will be keeping it in the system indefinitely. He tried to act all tough and gangster but he just showed how much of a pu$$y he is. He kept holding on to his pant leg and it looked like he was getting ready @ any second to lift them up so that he could run like the little bitch he is!!

  47. panamoncreel

    psst… wrestling’s fake.

  48. Desperation is a sad, sad thing. Historically performers turn to wrestling at the ends of their careers, when there’s nothing left and no one wants them. It’s good to see K-Fag bypass all that. Now we can proceed to the drug binge capped off by auto-erotic asphyxiation, with gay mags littered about for effect.

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