Kevin Federline is a winner

May 31st, 2006 // 94 Comments
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Kevin Federline reportedly spent $300,000 on a new watch without telling Britney Spears, which is also the exact amount he was paid to record an album and tour in Japan. Additionally, Spears thinks K-Fed is responsible for leaking their private info to the tabloids by telling his friends stuff he knows they’ll sell to papers.

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  1. Ari

    Maybe she can pay the Manny to kill K-Fed.

    I just really want to beat the hell out of that man with a gold-plated, diamond-encrusted baseball bat.

    Bling this, bitch.

  2. 86

    43 I think Britney bought those robes for the groom & groomsmen. Even worse!!!!!

  3. Dave Barnes

    Receive $300K payment from Japanese.
    Spend $300K on watch.
    April 15th: Accountant tells you that you owe $120K in taxes on the $300K.
    April 16th: Hock watch for $120K to pay taxes.

    Idiot.

  4. Jacq

    #10 – The K-Fed/Paris duet will be Baby #5. It’ll sound like Mambo #5 with worse vocals and Paris showing her nips to him every few minutes. Oh, and it’ll be around longer.

  5. LOL!!! #27, Papa.

    Man, I can’t wait until about 8 months after she dumps him and he is pawning that $300,000 watch for a months worth of rent at some freeway underpass motel. He’s getting older, not sure how long he could support himself with the “Suckie Suckie” down on Hollywood and Vine Street.

  6. Jacq

    #53 – You’re a genius!

  7. Dr.Rokter

    #46 For some reason they’ll only fill my scrips in Mexico or through the mail from Canada. But you’re more than welcome to try.

  8. ptprez

    @54

    i’m sure there will be some reggae on it…after all, paris likes all types of music, and k-fuckstick is black…

  9. Iambananas

    I LOVE STORIES ABOUT K-FED!

    Stinking rich people…

    Spend that much on a WATCH when people who work hard are struggeling in debt, even still others in America are starving and even still children are homeless.

    That takes the cake for me… I can’t stand people who waste money like that.

    Here’s my watch:

    http://www.kmart.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=104982&Ne=1023&N=1319&Nty=1&categoryId=1319&pCategoryId=1023&gpCategoryId=68&nomerch=1

  10. CruisingForCock

    Oh hell. Lamebananas just made me laugh out loud. Nice watch.

  11. RichPort

    He reminds me of Brewster’s Millions. I think this maroon has been told that he’ll get 10 times the amount if he spends Brit’s money by the end of the month.

    Has anyone noticed no one has heard from “The Game” since he appeared on this idiot’s My Space page?

  12. Ari

    You’d think that if Brit suspects he’s leaking info to the press (via his friends), she’s start doing it too.

    I think she should start by telling her ‘friends’ that he can’t get an erection without watching selected scenes from Conan the Barbarian.

    It’d be a start.

  13. Ari

    *she’d

  14. PapaHotNuts

    @59 I knew you could do it! That post had humor. The picture of the watch is just the type of sarcasm I knew you were capable of. Keep it up you whore!!

    @60- She actually did something funny. I’m waiting for the fire and brimstone.

  15. Grphdesi23

    Where’s skeeter on the CB radio?

  16. CruisingForCock

    64 The alter ego will be out any minute now….

  17. ning_ning

    K_fed is very smart he put the dick on britney (dumb as a box of rocks), she fell for it, and I hope he spends every dime she has.

    She thought she was hot and sexy at the time and could get whatever she wanted even taking another woman’s man. So now she is a fat pig, always was trailer trash with little talent, and a unfit mother and depressed because she knows she’s an ass and stupid.

  18. M@ce

    K-fed is officially the greatest human being to walk the face of the earth and my personal idol. 300k for a watch…the genius of it, the staggering genius. He should be given the Presidential Medal of Leeching immediately.

    The best part is you know he is going to leave it at a bar somewhere or give it to a stripper name Tittany Leers within a months time.

    God bless you K-Fed.

  19. MystressJade

    Stallion, Papa, Doc…you rock my world…

  20. Fa Cube Itches

    Ari: Come on, the scene with the witch is pretty hot….

    The more I see of K-Fed, the more I’m starting to think the guy is a genius – well, make that idiot savant. However, we are overlooking the fact that this guy could be the greatest weapon imaginable in the War on Terror.
    1. Convince him to covert to Islam (not hard, since so many stone gangstas in prison is down with the Islam, yo!)

    2. Tell him it will boost his street cred to join al-Qaida.

    3. Within 30 days, Osama bin Laden will blow up to 300 pounds and be broke.

  21. saltpeanuts

    they-sell-stories-for-money-she-is-sick-of-him-using-her-for-them-to-profit-hey-wheres-my-500-for-these-quotes-ive-just-given-you

  22. mixture

    Dump his ass already!

  23. 86

    I’m having an epiphany. All those helicopter shots of Britney with Sean P. were probably made possible by KFed tipping off the paparazzi. See, Britney …it’s not that hard to figure out. You’re married to a fucking loser!!

  24. aivilo

    If I had a millionaire pop star by the…tits, I would buy a 300,000 dollar watch too. And then I would wave it around in front of homeless people and laugh.

  25. VanillaSalTyBaLLs

    Britney: Kevin where’d y’all put that 300K? Kevin: Yoyo biotch check it ( shows her the watch) Britney: But Kev that was our weekly budget for Cheetos an Red Bull now what are we gonna do?

  26. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Does this mean K-Fed is single? That would be awesome because I was just digging through Brit-Brit’s dumpster and I scored bunch of her “Mrs. Federline” wife-beaters. Come on home to mama, baby! I got the inflatable pool goin’ and the cooler’s stocked with hot dogs and Natural Light, yee fuckin’ haw!

  27. gogoboots

    Ew, he’s gross, ok girlfriend, he’s GOT to GO! He makes Wilmer Valderrama look angelic….!

  28. endometriorama

    i love the simpsons! this made my day.

  29. Saucie

    I think the Superfish guy spelled weiner wrong in the title of this article.

  30. Saucie

    On his kids: “It’s completely unfair when a child is brought into this world an now he’s already looked at like a prince. My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don’t have it easy with me. Period….My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, dammit.”

    K-Fed Quoted from Us Weekly No shit.

  31. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I wish I had some kids so I could make them work at Taco Bell. Then I’d order like 200 chalupas at the drive-thru when they were working at the window and when I pulled up I’d spray them with a super-soaker full of bong water. That would be awesome. I’m going to stop taking the pill right now as a matter of fact.

  32. johnnywad

    #80: K-Wigger earned his bling. Tell me with a straight face that seeing that fat sow naked in your bed and actually having sex with it isn’t real work.

    I can just hear her… “Damn baby, hold up a sec, I’m laying on my Ho-Hos and smokes!”

    [Shudder]

  33. HughJorganthethird

    Years from now one of Kevin’s freinds will come by and tell little Sean Preston of how his dad had to hide that watch in his ass for years to keep mommy from pawning it for Oxycontin after her inveitable meltdown and bankruptcy.

  34. jackspratling

    Forget about his stoner buddies selling stories for beer money.

    K-Fed’s GOT VIDEO TAPES! I KNOWS IT! And they might be hott. (The extra t is all about keepin’ it real, yo).

    Tommy Lee ain’t got nothin’ on K-Fed. Well, maybe four or five inches, but that’s a given with most guys. That Tommy Lee, boy.

  35. BoardBetty

    #83 – excellent!

  36. Spacedog

    Hugh3: That post was ridiculous. I’m laughing my ass off.
    I bet you post-divorce K Fed will start pimpin Sean Preston like JonBenet, teach the some fly dance moves on his weekends, kid.

  37. Spacedog

    teach the kid.
    Errr, burnt.

  38. herbiefrog

    just lol you guys :))

  39. dominocat

    #6 – we can only hope… *crosses fingers*

    #38 – :D nice one! *applause*

  40. To_Bill_Braskey!

    lol i bet the that manny is the dad, we all know k fag aint around long enuf to stick his pecker in her

  41. Britney if you hear me. You became “poor” since you are with this guy. Disencumber quickly of him!!!

  42. Chrissy87

    I feel sorry for her but she should of none better to marry a child who was poor. He was about to declare bankruptcy when she met him which makes you wonder WTF where him and his GF bringing another baby into the world?

    He has done nothing but lie to her since day one and by the looks of it he does not give a damn about any of his kids.

    Shar keeps saying he is a good dad yet before Sean was born his kids were wlways around yet they were always with Britney.

    Now with Sean being born Sean is always with Britney and you have not seen Kevins kids at all

  43. Rodney

    Calling kfed a fag is a insult to the gay community

  44. holy cow this is going to be so funny i know that my girl tanisha is gonna get into it with everyone dont matter who i know she will be good in the game though. as for kevin i didnt even know he had gained so much wieght all i can say is i cant wait till the show starts!!!!!

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