Kevin Federline hits on Lindsay Lohan

January 3rd, 2007 // 114 Comments
superficial

  1. ToiletDuck

    She’s bobbing for cock…

  2. Denimpetal

    #39 JENPEACE420
    A little word of advice.
    I was once new here too, I thought everybody here were arrogant nasty bitches that needed help BUT, I also realised how totally entertaining they all were. And after a while I’m SO proud to say I am also an arrogant nasty bitch. It’s fantastic.
    So, sit back, enjoy the ride, and wait for the moment that you become
    ONE OF US!

  3. jen42074

    I think that’s Joe Dirt’s long lost brother.

  4. #39, 52. Take me for instance, I love to talk about myself, and since nobody will listen to me at the drive through, I force everyone who comes to this site to read my mindless drivel.

    I don’t miss an opportunity to spew, or share my moronic second-grade humor, with any victim that hasn’t yet learned to skip my all -too-frequent posts. I even found a few cretins who seem to like me, but they keep asking if I shave my ballsack.

  5. Mo

    Is it cold and lonely up on your pedestal Jenpeace? Just wonderin’…

    Oh, and on topic, the ho and the bro are perfect for each other. Both trash.

  6. sol

    uhhh…ok…i’ll give it try…

    JUSTICE FOR JENPEACE420!!!

    (you said the weak and the sick…)

  7. consolation

    Kevin Federline “beat” WWE champ John Cena on “Monday Night Raw,” after Cena was supposedly knocked out by another wrestler. K-Fed pinned Cena’s motionless body and was named the winner of their match.

  8. cole007

    DID NO ONE NOTICE SHE IS DIPPING INTO THE POOL WITH WHAT SEEMS TO BE A WATERPROOF BLACKBERRY?

    where keen I gets me one of dum tings?

  9. kacsing

    #53 – That is the funniest damn thing I have read yet! At least Joe Dirt had that mullet thing going. This guys face looks like someone’s nasty hootch! Where the hell did his chin go?

  10. #48–when you starve yourself but don’t work out, you get malnourished and flabby.

    #54–Do you?

  11. RichPort

    #44 just who the fuck do you think you are? first, i find it hilarious that you are even responding to the flame. but the fact that you are then threatening the flamer and carrying on like you have some type of authority here, well, that is just laughable. God you are pathetic.

    so everyone, comment as you wish and don’t fear getting pounced on by some internet loser, such as myself.

  12. Kristin

    Lmao. They are both pathetic.

  13. Has anyone asked why she is wearing a man’s watch yet?

  14. Devilish Tenshi

    hahahahahahahaha

    now THAT is funny

  15. Devilish Tenshi

    #58
    I was gunna say something about that then decided not to. But yea. Uh HELLO

  16. magickal

    ToiletDuck and consolation:

    The match was gayer than could be expected. I actually ran home from Elliot Spitzer’s New York State inaugural festivities as to not miss anything. In the match, K-Fag only wins because Umaga steps in. Later on at the end, Cena does manage to pull Fagerline into the ring and give him the FU. when vince McMahon (sp?!) first brought K-Fag in, it was right before he and Shitney split up. Not one to underestimate the people’s hatred for Federline, he has kept the storyline going but hopefully has decided to wrap it up. Will we see him at the pay-per-view? If so, we better see some srious ass kicking.

    OK, back to Firecrotch….

    I can smell her oozing herpes through my compuer screen.

  17. magickal

    “srious”?

    “compuer screen”?

    WTF? I can’t see the keys as I have been temporarily blinded with eye herpes from the sight of Hohan. Sorry. Carry on, then.

  18. coma12

    I don’t know…

    I think we should under a strict laboratory setting let all the celebutards and their ilk cross-bred for the betterment of science.

    My hypotheses is in the end the DNA of final progeny will either be able to cure all diseases or make everyone look like Larry King.

  19. Dan

    Why doesn’t anyone talk about her humpback?

    http://thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/2007/01/03/lindsay-lohan-pool-bikini-03.jpg

    See the way her shoulder’s turned in like that? It’s ’cause of her humpback. I don’t think that’s just her being casual or something. It’s creepy.

  20. girlwhogotaway

    how did this fat ass end up being some sort of “it” girl…. i mean people, have our standards dropped? or have WE STOPPED being superficial?? I can’t imagine what has been the reason for little lohan’s success but it sure as hell isn’t looks or acting skills…. i can’t remember, did she try to do the pop start singer bs as well???

    Personally i think her and kev would be well suited

  21. libtard

    #7…….I’ve been wondering the same thing since the Greaseball named her that months ago. Speaking as a firecrotch, I didn’t even find it offensive. Redheads have red pubes. Wow! I got better insults than fire crotch in the 7th grade. My personal favorite was, “Red on the head like a dick on a dog”. Of course, there’s also Woody Woodpecker and Pipi Longstocking. *yawn*

    So, seeing as how it’s a new year, may I recommend some form of dog penis nickname for Miss Lohan b/c I can’t imagine anyone has ever laughed at the old one.

  22. BarbadoSlim

    @61 …sucks for you that there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it bubba. Go ahead, pull some of your lame schtick, you’re played out. You are a third rate troll, can’t even manage to amuse people on some gossip forum so you just shit all over it.

    You are a loser here and you are a loser in real life too.

  23. moondoggy

    when i saw this site

    http://www.kevinfederline.com/

    i laughed so hard i did a little bit of wee in my pants. if you keep the flash screen on for long enough, you’ll notice that his ring (the one on his finger) and his earring flash cutely every ten seconds or so. Sit on a towel first.

  24. Cherokee Chocolate

    57: If that didn’t prove to everyone that entertainment wrestling was fake nothing will. However, they did have a one-legged wrestler on Smackdown, and some delusional people bought that too. K-Fag beating John Cena in an actual streetfight…not a chance.

    12: I concur.

  25. fergernauster

    C’mon, now… give girl some props. She is smart enough to realize that immersion of her freckled hiney in heavily chlorinated H2O to quel the odiferous salmon smell wafting from her nether-region is a decent short-term solution.

    That is why she took to the pool.

    Now… if only that electronic device in her palm could be remotely activated (by me) to electrocute (not kill, necessarily, but just to stun)…

  26. RichPort

    #54 & 61 – Aaaaahhhh, my little Ass Troll… RichPort’s biggest fan. How the hell are you this morning? Do you print out my postings and wallpaper your dingy bedroom with them, memorizing and reciting for your Star Wars action figures. I bet Boba Fett responds favorably. Do you sketch drawings of what you think I must look like, then shoot them for hours on end with your Nerf dart gun? Nice life… So much time and dedication building a shrine to me must be taxing. Your pets must be emaciated and ready to turn against you, ignored, unfed, and wondering what the fuck they did in a past life to end up with the punishment that is being owned by a nut-riding douchebag.

    That said, excellent use of grammar and punctuation in post 54. Funny how you have nothing to add, ever, except to bounce from Ferret to me to Jrz and back to me in an attempt to mollify your own feelings of inadequacy. Post under your own name and come at me. I’m sure Lohan will sooner become a nun.

  27. frenchtoaststix

    This about sums up the life of the superficial.

    http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=pinky_nip

  28. BigJim

    Rich:

    Now don’t you be slagging Nerf dart guns.

    They is some cool shit, yo.

  29. BarbadoSlim

    It’s on a one troll crusade to become the biggest piece of internet shit in history. Jealous of people who are just trying to have a good time.

  30. pinky_nip

    I’m proud to be a member of RichPort’s Cretin Crew and I’d gladly shave his ballsack for him!

  31. BarbadoSlim

    Hear! hear! I’m also proud to be a cretin.

    No ballsack shaving though…I hardly know the guy.

  32. wedgeone

    #54, #61 – FTLTC!!
    I’d like to see Rich’s troll in a match with John Cena, only without all of the scripted interference from the outside.

    After Cena stomped a hole in him and left him as a quivering pile of shit, Rich should piss all over the remains, and then we scoop the remnants into boxes wrapped in nice, shiny paper & send them to ever celebutard that this site reports about.
    Send the shit-eaters some shit!

  33. wedgeone

    every … not “ever”

  34. biatcho

    I HAVE shaved RichP’s ballsack and man, when I tell they looked so HUGE afterwards… whew!

  35. biatcho

    i mean bigger than they were before obviously!

  36. 86

    Dude why are her boobs so droopy and big all of a sudden?

  37. 86

    I love when I get the # 86 post.

  38. 86

    Aaaand I see the trolls have chased away all of the funny, cool posters who used to come here. Thanks guys. What are you, like 13 years old?

  39. RichPort

    Thanks for the love folks… just be prepared to read about all the goats you’ve fucked and little boys you’ve fondled in the next few hours… posted under your own names of course. And my balls are so bald they’re shiney now… nice technique ladies, many thanks.

  40. #39 JENPEACE420

    I’m curious, what in the world ever gave you the idea that Lindsey Lohan works hard? It’s funny, because whenever I see anything written about her, it’s always about something that happened out at a club at 3am. People who work “really hard” don’t stay out at clubs every night that late, they also aren’t bringing 4 different bikini’s to a beach party that only lasts a few hours. They don’t get into screaming matches in bars every week and release rambling, self agrandizing pseudo condolence letters to the press rather than to a decased friends family.

    You know why people who work hard don’t do any of these things? Because they don’t have time BECAUSE THEY ARE WORKING HARD!!!

    Lindsey bascially made three good movies, the last one was over 3 years ago and she wasn’t even the best one in it. Since then she has been coasting on her fame, burning through her money and managing to piss off and alienate everybody she has worked with because of her lack of work ethic and her preference for partying.

    She is on a short fast downward spiral into Obscurity land (Jennie Lee Harrison is the current Mayor) don’t step to close to her or she’ll take you down with her.

  41. KFed is like one of those people that always seems to invite themselves to your party.

    Everyone rolls their eyes and wonders why they haven’t a clue about the fact that no one wants them there.

  42. NicotineEyePatch

    #88 (86) – So the trolls are now trolling their own posts and getting into arguments with themselves. Is this some new form of the US’s weapons of “mass distraction”? Celebrities’ public stupidity of 2006 wasn’t enough to keep people from talking about the Bush administration, so now the FBI are throwing trolls into the mix to preoccupy us?

    No, I’m giving the Bush admin. too much credit.
    The trolls are more bored than I am, apparently. Sorry you’re having trouble fitting in. Check your yellow pages for the nearest 4-H club and quit trying to ruin everyone’s sarcastically good time if you can’t fucking relate or understand it.

  43. NicotineEyePatch

    Okay, back on topic: “Totally grossed out” is code for “wait, is anyone watching?”.

  44. FIRST!!!

    This is the best non-made up story of the year…or is it?

    -Porkiez Hilton

  45. 86

    92 I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.

  46. This whore will screw anything that walks or crawls. If Federline asked her out she’d have been in the bathroom with him, hands down his baggy pants, as soon as she could jet propel her dumb freckled ass to the can.

  47. This whore will screw anything that walks or crawls. If Federline asked her out she’d have been in the bathroom with him, hands down his baggy pants, as soon as she could jet propel her dumb freckled ass to the can.

  48. CraigC

    Say what you want about her, but she has great tits.

  49. tallcoolone

    Wait a sec…if I remember correctly, BarbadoSlim and RichPort used to get along…what happened, guys? Where’s the love?

  50. RichPort

    #99 – Where’d you read that? Slim’s a funny fuck. Ass Troll likes to pit everyone against each other by posting under their names.

    #92 – Hopefully Ass Troll is on the run, dragging his knuckles of course…

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