Kevin Federline has found a job

June 16th, 2006 // 70 Comments
kevin-federline-found-job.jpg

Kevin Federline has finally found a job, and it’s to be the new face of Blue Marlin clothing. Britney attended an ad-campaign shoot in Los Angeles with him and a source says: “She and Sean Preston showed up, and she told all the paparazzi how proud of Kevin she was. The paparazzi went nuts – there was even a helicopter – and La Brea had to be shut down.”

I’ve never heard of Blue Marlin clothing before, and judging by their brilliant business moves I’m starting to understand why. If you’re going to appoint Kevin Federline as your spokesperson you might as well just declare bankruptcy now and start looking for a new job as a hot dog vendor. It’s not that Kevin Federline isn’t a beacon of fashion, I just don’t think society is ready for his radical styles. Jeans and a wife beater? Every single day? Slow it down, Mr. Federline, you’re blowing my mind.

superficial

  1. twzzlrgirl

    First!!

    Probably a line of trailor-park fashions…

  2. Jacq

    Blue Marlin clothes can be found at any area Goodwill store bearing the labels of various other brands.

  3. Tha-Flash

    hmmmmmmmmmmm I don’t care.

  4. jane's eyre

    “Kevin, I want you to be the face of Derelict…”

  5. boredinclass

    Britney’s just happy–or “proud”–to get him out of the house and to stop mooching off of her. I would be “proud” too.

  6. Jacq

    The only thing more comfortable that Kevin should slip into is a coma.

    I think it is pathetic that Brit shows up to every photo shoot that Kevin does. She tries to put her mark on everything he does. Dumbass. She is an just the most adorable black hole of need.

  7. jane's eyre

    I want to see Kevin model this Blue Marlin jacket:

    http://www.bluemarlincorp.com/store/p-C6M32B27001.html

  8. asmith

    This must be the company that makes all those lovely white wife-beaters. Brilliant marketing move…

  9. Pearly

    Who is the pea brain at that clothing company that thought this dirtbag would be good for their image. “Look like a filthy house boy! It’s IN!!!!”

  10. Blue Marlin’s logo features a big B.M. – which is all K-Fag is qualified to do.

  11. andrewthezeppo

    huh, I didn’t know they made designer duches

  12. Spacedog

    I just poured some of my 40oz on the ground in solidarity with K Fed.

  13. EveryCuntHasaWebsite

    So I was walking into starbucks to get a trim latte, and holy hell the guy behind the coutner looked like k-fed long lost twin (except richer)smiling at me with the smarmiest grin I had ever seen. Naturally, I vomited into my mouth a little bit, and had to leave right away. Lucky there was another Starbucks on the next corner

  14. cruzin333

    LMFAO. Who the hell decided to pick K-Fed?
    On the other hand, he DOES draw a lot of publicity, just for doing nothing.

    And I see the goatee is making a comeback.

  15. I didn’t know that Blue Marlin advertised with sandwich boards, but I’m glad K-Fed took the job – honestly, wearing their sign will be a big improvement over his current outfit.

  16. BarbadoSlim

    So the purpose of this campaign is to cause general revulsion and for no one to ever buy their product, right?

    It worked.

  17. frangly

    Hey, at least he’s carrying around a baby carseat in this pic. Two, if you count his assistant’s as well. So that’s an improvement.

  18. limper

    So now they even have clothing companies whose target market is gold-digging neanderthal scuzzballs. The modern business world is a thing of wonder.

  19. Lady~Day

    not everyone is revolted by him. its mostly just sad pathetic people…..*cough* http://www.bluemarlincorp.com/the clothing itself is not that bad. And judging by his popularity, good or bad (all pr is good pr) he will bring in not only a new revenue but a second look at a wavering line. their original Brooklyn hoodies have been copied by everyone so they need new exposer. why not use the person that is on the cover of almost every magazine? From a business standpoint, its a good move. Its not just your Petty “he ruined Britney single handedly and he wears the same outfits all the time”……do you have an infinite closet? didn’t think so. hes more normal than the “i wore it once i have to get rid of it” celebrities out there right now.

  20. herbiefrog

    …actually
    …we cuold cut him some slack

    if the picture
    tells the truth

    yes
    that’s right
    you already
    have
    the
    most
    important job
    that you could ever dream of
    so maybe stop fucking about and get on with it

  21. BarbadoSlim

    Feel free to go fornicate yourself with one of their hoodies with a picture of Federline inside of it if you wish #19, since you love him so much.
    I would go get that cough checked before it turns into something serious.

    On another note, check out the brotha in the background….hehehe

    Yeah, nigga, you carrying his shit, you Federline’s bitch.

    failure to represent.

  22. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    21 – That “brotha” is mad because he knows K-Fed’s been drinking Cristal.

  23. HollyJ

    OMG #7 JaneEyre.. I’ve never seen any of their stuff before. I had no idea it was gay apparel. Who knew they had their own brands!?

  24. Jacq

    Lady Day – I almost had no idea that you’re calling us sad and pathetic. Some people around here *cough* are asshats. I sure hope *cough* someone fucks off.

  25. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Jacq, sit on my face and I’ll tell you a story. A long, wet story…

  26. Binky

    A job ? Yeah right.
    Something sounds fishy here.
    (I’d comment more – but I’ve decided to spend more time with my charity trust)

  27. Brittany says she is proud of him? for what? He got the job because he’s her husband, and he’ll blow the whole check on an ankle bracelett or a nipple ring shapped like a trailor.

  28. cole007

    this is like the “Derelicte” campaign on zoolander. The dirtier, street-ier, nastiest, homeless-looking white trash (a la “kid rock”) looking crappola derelict they could find… it’s an “opposites” attract type of strategy. People will pay for it. Stupid people. Which seems to be most of them…

  29. HollyJ

    BTW, if she REALLY has her baby in Namibia, she’s more of a moron pod-person follower than I ever expected. Does she EVER think for herself??

  30. Sheva

    This company is going to make millions. Just think, take the image of K-dick and all those made in China cheap, $1.50 tanktops and now sell them for $1.75.

    Genius, pure genius.

    Saw a couple of minutes of Brit with Matt Lauer. She’s disgusting. Why does a cow show up without clothes on.
    Gross.

  31. Fisher55

    A new Federline of clothing

  32. IHateAllofYou

    #30. I like how you call her a cow. Did you forget that she is P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T?? What the hell is wrong with you? She is supposed to get fat, you idiot.

  33. sirokai

    ok #32, I like how you seem to forget #30′s point: SHE’S PREGNANT AND SHE SHOULD PUT SOME OF THAT FAT UNDER CLOTHING. If you saw the interview, or even just a couple pictures, you would notice that she’s literally pouring out of her clothes.

    And I say if Blue Marlin can make Ferderslime look better than he looks now, kinda like that magazine did, then they might get some good publicity. If they get him to rap in their commercials, they are going bankrupt.

  34. BarbadoSlim

    #32…she’s a fat pregnant cow.

    there, ya happy?

  35. Jeremy1Esq

    OK, now Im embarrassed. I have a couple of Blue Marlin hats. Amongst other things, they make a cool line of retro baseball hats including some negro league teams(my favorite is actually a cool red Cuban basebeall team hat that I am now burning). I know K-Fed likes him some negros, but I guess since he couldnt get a job as spokesman for one of Puff Daddys lines of Sean John, then this is the next best thing.

  36. Grphdesi23

    This has all the makings of a really good juvenile delinquent bust.

  37. RichPort

    The Blue Marlin clothing line is straight 2008… of course I took a friend’s time machine to August 2007 and found the world was ending that week.

  38. Db7

    I just saw K-fed on the beach in Miami outside the Loews Hotel. He looked just as stupid up close. He was sitting with some desparate looking ladies.

  39. Iambananas

    White trash chic…

    I’m thinking that the same person dresses them both. At least he isn’t around enough to drop the baby like she is.

  40. WD-40

    I guess it really is that dumb of me to think he might persue a job in his line of work…..you know….dancing.

    or he just sucks as much as is advertised.

  41. jane's eyre

    I think it’s great that Britney is proud of him for getting a job. In other words, what a husband and father SHOULD have anyway. Whoopty freakin’ doo, join the rest of the responsible, self-sufficient world. Of course, he won’t ever have to sit in front of computer 40 hours a week, all he has to do is get gussied up in borrowed clothes, say cheese, and cash in his check.

  42. TrannyGranny

    K-fuck has a job, keeping Britney fat and ugly.

  43. ellaminnowpea

    I am so repulsed over what I saw last night-Matt Lauer’s eyes were glued on Brit’s clown-face makeup…he didn’t dare look down at her, bending over, tits falling out of the SHEER top she was wearing with a raggy micro-mini denim skirt. She was pathetic gnawing on her wad of bubble gum. Why couldn’t she brush her hair or put actual clothing on to be on national tv?
    She came across as a brainless ass. One of my daughters is her age and years more mature than her. Matt is showing her tabloids that she pretends she’s never seen? Asked her questions that she couldn’t properly answer because every other word was, “you know”….and she has no mastery of the 50 cent word.
    Three months is not sufficient recovery time for a human body to come back after a pregnancy…especially a c-section birth, which is major surgery. Matt asked her how far along she was and she told him, “Um, I don’t know…maybe 6 or 7 months.”
    She made a big deal of and kept referring to Kevin “working so hard” and “supporting his family because he’s a man and that’s what men do”.
    Fuck that immature cunt.
    She wants out of the spotlight-FINE-she needs to put some goddamn clothes on and stay the fuck home so we don’t have to be exposed to her white trash ass.
    Life would be great if all the media would totally STOP any reporting on those losers. Be careful of what you wish for….
    Sorry for the rant – I had to vent!

  44. Aimtrue

    It took me some searchng, but I found the fashin k-fed is plugging- he is making this style his own.

    http://www.clowncostumes.com/Catalog/Men/Suite11/suite11.html

  45. jane's eyre

    44
    That’s too classy for K-Fed. He’s wearing a tie and a bowler–items K-Fed has never heard of.

    43
    Glad I missed it.

  46. DrDanny

    He’s not a beacon of fashion, but he is a bacon of fashion. Get it? hahahahahahahahahaa

  47. ellaminnowpea

    …so in essence I suppose what you’re really trying to say is: Kevin is bringing home the bacon…….yeah, to his *porker* wife!

  48. jane's eyre

    47

    Oo, gross, she’s a CANNIBAL?

  49. illkarate

    Since when did Dave Chappelle start rolling with K-Fed??

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