Kevin Federline has finally decided to give back to the community with the worst charity I’ve ever seen in my entire life. He showed up to Times Square yesterday to promote Virgin Mobile’s 1-cent text-message service and help launch their “Save the Penny” fund-raising campaign which is aimed at keeping the penny in circulation, as well as collecting spare change for various children’s organizations.
“What’s up, New York!” Federline shouted from a stage after arriving in an armored truck decorated with 120,000 pennies. “I’m here with Virgin Mobile to bring the power back to the penny! I feel good about the penny! I’m glad to give it back to these charities.” Then he sent the first 1-cent text, claiming it went to “my wife.” Mugging for the cameras, Federline held up a penny and slipped it in the armored vehicle’s donation slot. Then K-Fed took a cigarette break, wiping his hand on his pants before doing a few television interviews.
“I just gave all my pennies to charity!” he bragged to one TV outlet. To another, he said: “A bunch of charities get these children off the streets – build a better life, build a better future, for these children.” And to another: “There’s thousands of kids out here that have nowhere to go.” He admitted to “Access Hollywood’s” Tim Vincent: “It’s my first time doing a charity.”
What a shock. Finished with his compassionate interviews, K-Fed kissed publicist Marilyn Lopez goodbye, and four bodyguards escorted him to a black SUV. A block into the ride, the SUV rear-ended a pedicab, prompting a curse-fest between the pedicab driver and one of Federline’s guards. At which point the Naked Cowgirl – a pastie-wearing, guitar-strumming Louisa Holmlund – toplessly approached the vehicle. A rear tinted window rolled halfway down, and a hand came out to give her two $1 bills.
If you managed to read through all that you must’ve noticed at the end he gave two $1 bills to a naked woman while only donating his change to charity. And you wonder why I consider him my personal hero.