Kevin Federline can’t afford rent

November 9th, 2006 // 126 Comments
federline-bounce-check.jpg

Remember when I was joking that Kevin Federline might have to move back into his dumpster? Well turns out I wasn’t joking. A rent check from before K-Fed met Britney has made its way onto eBay with ‘INSUFFICIENT FUNDS’ stamped on it. Although proving K-Fed used to be a hobo is about as tough as proving you could grate stone on my abs. All you gotta do is look, baby.

superficial

  1. mrs.t

    Big Jim-good job on the 25 days. Fo’ rizzle.

  2. mrs.t

    osh-I keep bumping my official “it’s not too early” time by 15-minute increments to avoid EXACTLY the scenario you describe. Except I will have normal days instead of may days. And I let my husband live so the kids don’t become wards of state. So basically, I just run away from home.

  3. #39 – OMG!! That’s a riot. So who in their right mind accepts a starter check for that much? You can’t even go to the grocery store for milk with those checks in these days. Who is more stupid – K-Earl or the fool who takes his starter check?

    Isn’t it about time for Paris to do something stupid now? She’s been out of the spotlight for alomst a week now.

  4. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    may days… just another excuse to party, says I. And all my kids are buried under the basement floor so that pretty much takes care of that little snafu.

  5. i didn’t know banks printed gay checks nowadays

    adult underoos –> http://www.funderpants.com

  6. mrs.t

    I like your child-anecdote prevention technique. Great for office parties.

  7. sexybitch

    #56
    I sold mine on eBay. Charged a fucking fortune for shipping, too!

  8. Tits_McGhee

    Why does he have little bumble bees on his checks? Did his mommy pick them out for him when she went with him to get his checking account?

  9. BarbadoSlim

    Nah, he wasn’t living in no mansion, the 3,500 have to be for like two years worth of back ren t from whatever shithole he’d been polluting with hisself, yo.

  10. commissioner

    I’d like to know who the hell buys a bad check? What kind of fucked up shit is that? I have a couple of empty Diet Coke cans and some gum wrappers in my trash can I’ll give away.

    Either Britney put that shit on E-Bay or Kevin never payed it; cause you give bad checks BACK when the deadbeat pays for ‘em.

  11. Maskatron

    haha, Yorba Linda. What a fucking hell hole.

  12. PrettyBaby

    What is next? Every fucking bad thing either one of them do is gonna be OUT THERE people. I think it will only get funnier and funnier

  13. BarbadoSlim

    Hahaha this also means Earl has bad credit, he won’t even be able to get a nifty economical Kia Rio in which to “roll” with his, crew?

    Nope, he’s gonna have to go old school trailer and get himself a clapped out 1985 IROCZ Camaro.

  14. PrettyBaby

    #53 wedgeone, I can predict the stupid thing that Paris will shortly be doing and let me give you a hint…

    It involves the very fellow that we are discussing now…

  15. #39 & #50 – freakin hilarious! 4 minutes till Happy Hour(s)…. woohoo!
    #38 – BigJim… is there a countdown to the towel drop?

  16. saltpeanuts

    Maybe KFed should sell his $300-fucking-thousand dollar watch, and he could afford to live there for another 82.75 months.

  17. PrettyBaby

    #38 My Man, you are making the ultimate sacrifice for us whores so we beg you– Drop the Towel.

    Maybe I should post a PrettyBaby sampler for your enjoyment just to thank you.

  18. PrettyBaby

    I will go home tonight and look for these classics in my pic box
    * PrettyBaby doing body shot on other drunken galpals boobs

    * PrettyBaby’s butt entering one of those ball jump things.

    No, I think those would NOT be good to post here.

  19. Pagan Queen

    BigJim – congrats! Are you wearing your chip? LOL Subliminal message **drop the towel, drop the towel**

    Barbado – how hard do you think those guys at “Pimp My Ride” are going to laugh at FedEx when he rolls up in a Yugo for pimpin’? LOL

  20. BarbadoSlim

    Not possible #66, that watch goes back to the soon to be ex as per the pre-nup.

  21. BarbadoSlim

    #69, if he’s lucky they’ll laugh until he gets the hint and drives the fuck on. If he’s not lucky they’ll beat him to death with an array of assorted tools and then stick an airhose up his ass.

  22. Say Hello to your future Kevin.

  23. BoognishRising

    Death to the ‘tards bidding on this crap. Hey maybe K-Fed can on board with the whole eBay thing. He can auction off one of his used Q tips for like a thousand bucks. I’m sure there are a few losers out there who would bid on it.

  24. BoognishRising

    “get on board”

    I love Happy Hour!

  25. Naid

    Yo, yo, yo Check this out
    My name’s K-fed and my eyes all red
    been cryin all night, im better off dead
    my punk ass is worthless, i cant pay my rent
    homies better pay me back for them doobies that i sent
    cant act worth a shit and my rapping sucks too
    my diamond bigger then your budget , im better then you
    bitche’s divorcing me now so i gotta think fast
    or else im gonna be a street hooker takin it up the ass
    yo, yo ,yo my names k-fed, and most of the world wants to see me dead
    I tell yall haterz yall dont mean a thing
    after this divorce imma be selling my bling
    *end song*

  26. sexybitch

    Refrain
    He got da POOOOH checks…
    He don’t got nooo respekt…
    Sit here and whine a little bitty
    Now that he’s off Britty’s titty
    He got da POOOOH checks…

  27. Naid

    #76 – We should write beautiful music together you sexy beast

  28. sexybitch

    #77 Only if you promise me we can play Webster Hall, baby.

  29. Naid

    #78 Of course ! Always willing to please sexy people !

  30. sexybitch

    #79
    Please please me, oh, yeah, like I please you!

    Now THAT would make a great song.
    Damn, I’m good.

  31. Naid

    #80 – I’ll spank you baby !! yeah baby yeah

    Yo yo yo my name is naid
    and im all the time looking to get laid
    Sexybitch is tied to my bed
    while i read the fish and laugh at K-fed
    Stallion and Ferret spank us with their wangs
    We’re gonna kick danielle in her fangs….

    Ok im white and it shows

  32. Binky

    Now that they’ve both lost their income, my sources tell me – to pay the rent ‘The Fed’ could be getting together with Donald R. to form a new ‘Boy: No ask-No Tell’ band called ‘Torture.’
    (I’m hoping the name is from Fed, not Rummy)
    Variety is reporting their first gig is Gitmo – and they’re expecting their audience will be ‘captivated’ and drivin’ crazy by the show.

  33. Binky

    Of course – my sources HAVE been wrong before…

  34. Binky

    (I just wanted to point that out)

  35. TorontoMapleLeafs

    I didnt even realize it was a pooh check. haha that makes it funny.

  36. Laughing.

    At.

    My.

    Own.

    Ass.

    Or LAMOA. Either or.

    You know what would be more hilarious? Federline getting caught by Dateline NBC’s To Catch a Predator. That – would be unbelievably hysterical.

    Jailbait: “Hey KFed_Iz_Hawt77, I’m getting dressed. I’ll be out in a second.”

    Federline: “Yo yo baby, I gun’ tap dat azz yo. Puts um babiez up in that hizzy!”

    Jailbait: “Did you bring the goods?”

    Federline: “I gots da goods right here, babydoll. N I gots da dildo right here.”

    Jailbait: “Okay, put it in your ass.”

    Federline: “Wat?! U krazii, btch! KFed’s not a pnz luvn hhomo!…”

    Jailbait: “I’ll give you a weekly allowance…”

    Federline: “Alreddy sat’n it. Wearz teh mony, sexitits?”

    Chris Hansen: “Hello, I’m Chri…”

    *sees K-Fed sitting on a dildo*

    Chris Hansen: “What the f…”

    *vomits*

    Federline: “Oh fux — u Egon frmm teh GhsstBsstrz! Hu u gun cawl!?”

    Yes, K-Fed, “hu u gun cawl?” I’m guessing a loan officer, possibly the Wal-Mart employment department.

    woots

    http://chasingculture.com/liberty/index.php

  37. LickyLicky

    Twinkle, twinkle K-Fed’s bling
    I forgot… there’s just one thing
    It goes back to Britney Lyn
    What a fucking mess you’re in

    Twinkle, twinkle K-Fed’s tears
    YOU’RE NO LONGER MR. SPEARS!

  38. Binky

    # 82 Apparently the No-Ask-No-Tell band’s first release will be – ‘The Abu Ghraib Sessions’. It’s a totally acoustic CD to highlight their talent. (and there’s still no power over there)
    Although previously unreleased in the West – it’s already really popular in the Mid East.

  39. How could K-Fed possibly be living anywhere that costs over 3grand a month before he met Brtiney?

  40. sexybitch

    #87
    I like it, it’s got a good beat and you can dance to it.

  41. K-Fed oops Fed-ex can bounce in many more ways. He can bounce like R-Kelly.

    Bounce Bounce Bounce, its like murder she wrote once I get you out my boat. If you can’t pay don’t even try to stay. Just put your key in the ignition. Give me a toot toot Give me a beep beep.

  42. Binky

    # 88
    It’s got a good beat and you can ‘dance’ to it.

  43. Binky

    Sorry – (SP) beatin’ – Yo !

  44. marshmallow-dream

    #46 you’re a fag – oh the irony

  45. Binky

    ( I’m guessing he’s currently offline #94 – But,needless to say, I’ve been wrong before)

  46. marshmallow-dream

    #95 well thanks for the info kiddo -

  47. Binky

    NP # 96
    And # 88 – According to the Iraqi Hit Tracker, and Dick Clark, the back ‘beat’ – chorus to that Album – ‘We had nothing to do with 9-11. Mr. Sir!’ – has already charted in Basra and is expected to do Top Ten all over Iraq and will likely chart in Syria and Iran as well.
    ‘With a bullet’ as they say in the industry.

  48. Genevieve

    #89 I’m guessing it’s one year’s worth of owed rent.

  49. RichPort

    #94 – Are you looking for attention? I would be too with a stupid fucking name like marshmallow-dream. You should practice saying stupid shit in the mirror before you attempt to be funny… any of course by attempt I mean “fucking fail miserably at”. Homophobes like yourself are funny enough with the sad attempts (again, read above definition) at humor. If you hang out with people funnier than you, please ask them for massive amounts of help. If not, please plan another Columbine-like shooting for you and your idiot comrades.

  50. RichPort

    Oh yea, am I the only one surprised that he didn’t sign the check with a poorly scribbled EARL and a bloody thumbprint?

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