Kevin Federline beefs up security

January 7th, 2008 // 51 Comments

Kevin Federline has doubled security at his home now that Britney’s out of the hospital. He’s seriously pissed that she was released so soon and fears she’ll make a run at the boys like she did in February 2007, according to OK! Magazine:

“The boys are safe for now,” the source reveals to OK!. “But Kevin feels Britney is clearly deranged, and there’s no telling what she’ll do. After all, this is a woman who two days ago barricaded herself in her bedroom with her youngest child for three hours!” Adds the insider, “You can’t get mentally well in a hospital after 36 hours.”

A reliable source for People revealed today that Britney’s drug test was negative for drugs and alcohol echoing early reports that her episode was mental:

“She tested clean,” the source says. “This lady is as clean as clean can be, and has been for some time.”

If I were Kevin Federline, I’d have two tanks parked on my front yard. What do you mean it’s only Britney Spears? What does that have to do with tanks being awesome? Oh, right, the news stuff. I’ll let you in on a little secret: I don’t even read the top part of these posts. In fact, I’m not even sure how it gets there. Gnomes, maybe? I dunno.

superficial

  1. Shallow

    He sure is purty.

  2. joeypants

    gay

  3. LayDeeBug

    What reliable source for People? “She’s clean and has been for a while”….WHAT THE FUCK? Are you kidding me? Have we come to the point that every celebrity flack just writes blatant lies and that prescription pills are not considered drugs (COME ONNNNN!)? I mean once again……

    WHAT….THE….FUCK?

  4. I would have never thought of Earl as the better parent… that just shows he was never a real rapper, yo.

  5. D. Richards (Pathetic.)

    Kevbo Federline has doubled security at ‘his’ home? Is that even possible? What kind-of time continuum bending warlock craft is Kevin Playing at?

    Federline’s house payment is being funded by Britney Spears, right? More appropriately, the children are paying Kevin Federline’s mortgage. But he’s doubling security to keep Britney off of the property. Right.

    I hope that Federline back-up dances so hard, that he spontaneously combusts in to a gaggle of homeless men. What-a cocksucker.

  6. morga

    I think it’s actually scarier that she’s (allegedly) clean. You can detox for drugs a lot quicker than you can fix crazy.

  7. jrz

    He should hire Naomi Campbell as a body guard. Bitch’ll pound the daylights outta a white girl with a cell phone………just sayin’.

  8. my comment

    This is the greatest story. Ever.

  9. I heard Kevin federline is gay is this true or not. i can,t stand the guy. Omgsh theres alot of haters on Kevin. Well but according to the discussion about him at that bisexual club bimingle.com, those bisexual love him very much. Maybe, that’s just because they have a lot in common.

  10. Lowlands

    I don’t understand why he needs more security for because those kids are his perfect life security.He’s literal fighting for his life.She should stop the money flow to him and then see who has the longest breath…

  11. Mohawks are so 1977.

  12. Bullshit

    Yeah she’s as drug free as I am. I guess they invented a miracle 10 minute drug test for old Brit since most Tox screens take weeks to process. Oh well it will just make it that much sweeter when she OD’s.

  13. #10 – I hear that he founded his dream love at ifuckhorsesforbeermoney.com. Many celebs have metted their match there. It haves many hot celeb fotos. Also do go to see noonegoestomysite.com.

  14. my comment

    #12. True, Mohawks are very 1977 but his jacket isn’t bad so it counteracts the hair much like the massive drugs in in Britney’s system counteracted each other and she barely missed going into a coma.

    We have so much to learn from these fascinating people..

  15. eastcoastgirl

    @ #6 I couldn’t agree more.

  16. Sauron

    #6] I couldn’t agree more^^

  17. Spanky

    #6 big fucking deal. When people get divorced the higher earner always pays the more cash in support and alimony. It’s just usually (always) the man. Good for Kevin, nice to see the law go both ways for once. As far as security goes why not just get a huge Pit Bull that gets enraged by the smell of Frap’s?

  18. The Good Idea Man

    I think a group of about 1,000 volunteers should gather to test Kevin’s security by mass rushing the place and then kicking the living shit out of him if protective measures turn out to be not up to snuff and we do get through. It is for his own good.

  19. Lowlands

    @6) Uh,holy,this proves the theory that everything what’s said is told already:)

  20. Auntie Kryst

    I always thought he was a douchebag, but I own that same sportcoat. So I take it back.

  21. LL

    People should really be careful about who they reproduce with. A couple of minutes of sweaty, white trash sex, then you’re shackled to a crazy attention whore (or a gold digger) for the next 18 years. You’re better off just takin’ care o’ yo’self.

    If this whole drama is not THE cautionary tale about safe sex, I don’t know what is. They should teach it in sex ed in every school in the country. I’m betting a lot of people would rather have AIDs than Britney as a baby mama.

  22. bangthegenius

    #6 perfect comment FTW!

  23. mrs.t

    The extra security is meant to keep Dr. Phil out.

  24. Bill O’Reilly could get through his security.

  25. Sauron

    #24]I couldn’t agree more^^

  26. D. Richards (Scumbag.)

    #18? You’re a chump; we all know by your entry that you’re recently divorced.

    Way to wear your feelings on you sleeve, handsome.

  27. Lowlands

    Those two tanks are probably nescessary if dr.Phil shows up together with Oprah.

  28. Zue

    Say what you will but he’s the hero now, there’s no denying that. And it’s very well known that he’s hung like a horse – a well-hung horse, even by horse-hang standards.

  29. #27 – I don’t know if anyone named “Spanky” could actually get a wife… well maybe in a maximum security prison, but not in the heterosexual outside world.

  30. Georgie Necks Zappola

    Buh-rit-nee sez dat mah baby daddy took mah kidz way fro me-eee

  31. D. Richards (Whore.)

    True, Rich. Maybe spanky lives in SF?

    My point to begin with, was that Federline has based his entire career off of collecting his ex-wife’s money.

  32. #32 – As have the countless people who have handled her from lawyers, to papsmears, to hangers on, etc. He was just the only one smart enough to plant his flag in that bitch. Now he can build a $6 million dolar rap studio and name it Steve Austin, and play his songs for his friends.

  33. D. Richards (Cupcake.)

    Yeah. Federline is a very intelligent scumbag.

    I mean, Feds used Britney’s want for a family, to secure himself to her money for eighteen fucking years! Genius.

    Now the family’s been triumphed over, albeit by the same means, which is why they’re jumping up Dr. Phillip’s asshole. Gotta get cash cow back!

    You see all those Mercedes that Britney’s mother drives. Lynn’s newest Benz is approaching two years old, ya’ know. The new body styles have come out; Lynn’s just gotta have one.

  34. Spanky

    #27 called me a chump. wow, I’m speechless. I haven’t heard that put down in 10 years. What are you like 60 or something? I’m mean you must be a shut in with all the time you spend on this site, but chump? Turn off the honeymooners re-runs and get with the times man. Fetal alchol syndrome is no excuse for being lame you know.

    I look forward to your antiquated long winded reply which I’m sure will be as funny as your past material.

  35. TO #14

    Dear RichPort,

    I love you. Your comments made my day.

    Signed,

    sosickofgrammaticallystupidspam.com

  36. Zim

    See now, this made more sense to me when I misread it at first, as “Kevin Federline queefs up security.”

  37. D. Richards (aged Queen of Yeast and Sarcasm)

    I only fight children so back off.

  38. D. Richards (Chump.)

    Spanks? Right.. ‘Chump’.

    What else can you say? What else can you tell me?

    You are highly indicative of the word ‘chump’. Simple. Easy.

    Teppichfresser!.

  39. #12 – what 1977 mohawks are you referring to?

  40. the hat is gone. There is a God.
    Nice jacket, whomever is styling him gets a big raise.

  41. BrilliantGold

    Deadbeat!

  42. BrilliantGold

    Deadbeat!

  43. jaosn

    - I don’t know if anyone named “Spanky” could actually get a wife… well maybe in a maximum security prison, but not in the heterosexual outside world.
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  44. He surely a loser.

    He surely a loser.

  45. Ever notice how much KFed looks like Ryan Seacrest? I’m not making any allegations of a long lost brother or some kind of family curse… I’m just saying…

  46. Anonymous

    Hey Gina93:

    Hi there, I’m a loser with no life. I’m paid $3.50 per hour to post idiotic drivel, directing you to some lame dating website that takes your money and gives you nothing in return. I have no job, so I sit around all day and post this garbage on as many websites as I can under many different aliases. I don’t have any friends, so I must rely on these moronic posts to make myself feel better about myself. My mother hates me and dropped me on my head as a child. You can find me at I’mAnIdiotTrollWithNoLifeAndShouldBeKilled.com
    I heard Jamie Lynn Spears met her older man, I mean match, at this site.

  47. vicky

    This guy is cute. Seems saw him before on a celebrity and millionaire
    dating site called ” wealthybeauty.com” .

  48. fernanda

    he is a piece of shit but a big one!!!!
    gay
    fucker
    slut
    whore

  49. larry

    Baje fletcher is on the dr phil show on March 9th. Contrary to the image the show is trying to paint her in, Baje’s #1 goal is to empower women letting them know that they dont have to sacrifice their bodies to get what they want. She wrote a book called A Gold Digger’s Guide (how to get what you want without giving IT up). In this book she discusses unconventional ways to get money out of men (the type of men who try to get over on women)

    You can reserve a copy with no money now at agolddiggersguide.com

    and check her out on myspace.com/modelbaje

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