Kevin Federline and his personalized Ferrari

August 25th, 2006 // 274 Comments

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Here’s Kevin Federline doing what I can only imagine is his best Lollipop Kids impression. All he needs are some striped socks and a little more ‘kick’ and he’ll have it down perfect.

More of Kevin and his personalized Ferrari after the jump. And by personalized I mean personalized. I’ve never been so offended by brake pads in my entire life.

superficial

  1. danielle

    what the hell is that stench?

  2. jrzmommy

    I don’t know what that stench is but it’s coming from spot #99 — I think Paris Hilton left a pair of her dirty undies there.

  3. RichPort

    And here I was, making a commitment to be nice to the idiots of the world because, it’s not their fault is it? So I consulted a preacher, a rabbi, an imam… fuck I even emailed the Dalai Lama and got the same response each time: embarass the stupid bitch. Now I’m not one to trust ‘holy’ men, so I decided I would be nice. Oh silly me. It seems like the god groupies were right.

  4. jrzmommy

    predictable response coming in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1……Oh yeah, jazzymammmy those are YOUR undies that stink because you get STDs like Paris Hilton who is your mom you are stupid and unsmart. oh well, i feel sorry for you. Now go die.

  5. ReelWorld

    Longest 15 mins of fame I’ve ever seen.

  6. jrzmommy

    3rd Picture, K-Fag is thinking, “What is that in my pocket? It feels like, a leg. Oh, it’s my leg.”

    did anyone read the quote that he apparently got high test scores in math in high school? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  7. danielle

    what? i would never in my life call you jazzymammy..cumtastic juicewhore maybe..but never jazzymamy. thats lame.

  8. RichPort

    First, it’s jizzymommy, second, you adhere far too closely to the “excepted” rules of grammar, vocabulary and punctuation for that to be my Halfrican-American queen. Have you no decency???

  9. danielle

    Could you please be quiet? I’m trying to watch Oprah.

  10. jrzmommy

    You called me jazzymammy last week, DanYELL. I’m hurt you don’t remember. cumtastic juicewhore works too. I am cumtastic. And I loves me some gin and juice!!! DanYELL did you like K-Fag on the Teen Choice Awards?

    KFag’s got skinny little ankles. hee hee.

  11. danielle

    Okay, i’m sorry. What would you prefer for me to call you?

    I really enjoyed Federwhine’s performance. But then again, i was drinking red wine at the time so…my hearing may have been a little fuzzy.

  12. RichPort

    I didn’t know Oprah had idiot to English closed caption translation capabilities. I swear, modern technology never ceases to amaze me.

  13. jrzmommy

    ?! DanYELL, did you hit some major anger management hypnosis session this weekend? you seem like a kinder, gentler DanYELL. You haven’t called me whitey almighty or my mother a crackwhore in….4 posts.

  14. danielle

    Maybe it’s because you’re nicer than Bitchport.

    BTW, #112…You really do get dumber and more boring by the second, don’t you? Your cocaine addicted whore of a mother must be proud to know that she raised a brain dead whino idiot.

  15. RichPort

    #114 – Comic gold!!!!! My sides are aching… woo… I can’t… HAHAHAHAHA… to hell with those two chicks on Best Week Ever, you’re the funniest Halfrican-American chick ever!

    By the way, you can go to http://www.m-w.com if Oprah uses any two syllable words in today’s episode (i.e. ‘whino’… don’t you mean wino?). Like I told you before, I’m here to help.

  16. RichPort

    #113 – She’s on some great meds… well whatever meds her ‘clients’ are on. I once had someone tell me my man-Jergens tasted like Guiness after a night of drinking, so she must be ingesting filtered amounts of Oxycontin, Vicadon, Tylenol 3, Meth, and yayo. That’ll sedate her if she swallows enough… and no, I didn’t learn that from my disease ridden crack whore of a mom on the corner…

  17. danielle

    Earth to Bitchport…you can stop tag teaming now. Jrzmommy doesn’t care to hold conversations with bigot sperm drinkers anymore. Stop trying to salvage a friendship that never existed, you lame fugly twat.

    Go get a brain, a life, a girlfriend. You have WAY too much time on your hands.

  18. kickservebt

    What a complete buffoon….

  19. jrzmommy

    I don’t? I happen to belong to the Friends of Bigot Sperm Drinkers Society — the FBSDS. I just don’t understand why DanYELL suddenly wants to buddy up to me? Maybe she liked the babyname ideas I gave her? Does she need a letter of recommendation or something? And why does she think I’m nice? It’s too early for this I need a cocktail.

  20. RichPort

    #117 – Again??? HAHAHAHA!!!!! You bring the funny, no question about it… you hurt my sides more than running up a few flights of stairs after a night of binge drinking and weed! Jrzmommy is one fucking funny beeotch and I enjoy reading her damnYELL the cunt spankings, but I can handle your Halfrican-American ass all by myself. Now don’t you have some skin lightening sessions to attend before you go back to DeVry?

  21. danielle

    Seriously Bitchport, you and your lover can go rub your twat’s together now. Go spread your little diseases and be happy.

    And for the last time, I do NOT go to whatever low budget schools you just listed above. If you’re so adamant about me going to colleges that you obviously attend, why don’t you just come up to Howard and say so to my face. Of course, you’d have to go through my legions of friends who would happily kick your ass to a pulp, but still do come.

  22. trailercamptramp

    atleast brit-cheesypuff knows what part of car to tamper with now …… hopefully he be goin really fudging fast down some huge hill with a hard tight corner and cliff off the side. well thats my dream enjoy ur cat fight girls let me know when the jelly wrestling will start.

  23. trailercamptramp

    hmmmmm should i bring custard or beer to jelly wrestling .sigh the choice i have to make its make life so hard

  24. RichPort

    #121 – Touchy , touchy, my little Halfrican-American queen! I mean, what can four kids with pocket protectors and speech impediments do to me? I mean, I hear that gangstas hang out at Howard and all, but to stoop to pretending you know any of them is a stretch even for you. Like I said before: DC is where gangstas grow up pretending to be from real ‘hoods. You really are a moron.

  25. jrzmommy

    122– so you’re hoping for K-Fag to have a Princess Grace moment? Interesting. I like it!

    rich–you’ll be searching that campus in vain. Remember, you can find DanYELL at the DC DMV sitting at her desk doing her nails and getting surly when asked to do her job.

    Rich: “Excuse me, miss, are you DanYELL?”

    DanYELL: “I is on my break!”

  26. RichPort

    #125 HA!!!

    You see damnYELL. Now THAT’S funny. Take notes…

  27. danielle

    justaskmymammy- Just like searching your ass for your next lame comeback i suppose?

    justaskmymammy- “Like Hello?, are’s ya gonna help me with this dern thing?”

    danIELLE- “I don’t speak fugly white trash hillbilly talk”

    #124 You live in the hood? Why didn’t you just say so? I’m sure Mayor Anthony Williams would be delighted to come by your shack and loan you a couple of dollars….

  28. RichPort

    I think you should read the Autobiography of Malcolm X… no not just that sentence and no not the movie, the actual book. Then I think you should redeem yourself by saying “I’m Black and I’m proud!!!” and laying off the skin whiteners. I’d lend it to you myself, but I don’t want the entire Mail Room at the DMV mad at me for trying to make you act whiter by proving you read anything “accept” Jet and Black Hair.

  29. jrzmommy

    And yet another dazzling display of DanYELL’s creativity and finely honed wit, courtesy of DC Public Schools. give it up for DanYELL the Cunt and her devotion to plagarism.

  30. biatcho

    goddammit danielle. here’s 5 bucks, go buy a hint. Or steal it & use the 5 bucks to buy a couple of bottles of Mad Dog.

  31. jrzmommy

    DanYELL is so stupid that when she hears it’s chilly outside she grabs a bowl and spoon.

  32. RichPort

    5 bucks? Now why the hell would you be so generous as to DOUBLE her WIC check?

  33. jrzmommy

    DanYELL’s armpits are so hairy she looks like she’s got Buckwheat in a headlock!

  34. biatcho

    Danyell’s cooch is so hairy she looks like she has Buckwheat in a leglock. BA-ZING!

  35. RichPort

    Oh yeah? damnYELL’s so po’ she goes to KFC to lick other people’s fingers…

  36. jrzmommy

    DanYELL’s house is so dirty that the cockroaches ride around on dune buggies!

  37. biatcho

    danyell’s so black when she smiles mosquitos fly into her mouth.

  38. danielle

    Damn…where did all of these lame posts come from? I write one thing and losers just hop, skip and jump on the bandwagon.

    I should really have my own website. Flunkies never cease to amaze me.

  39. RichPort

    not damn… damnYELL.

    damnYELL’s so po’ people break into her place and LEAVE money…

  40. jrzmommy

    yes, DanYELL you should have your own website, http://www.pumpfat.com

    DanYELL is so nasty that I called her to say hello and I got an ear infection.

  41. jrzmommy

    DanYELL is so fat when she walks across the room the radio skips.

  42. Bossy

    god hes a loser… wow. thats so like him too, to write his name on his brake pads, so everyone can see it, and kno its him, even when hes got his windows up, so they can pull up beside him crack open his window and unload the entire contents of all the guns they own in that car…. along with a condom that should be shoved so far down his throat it knocks britney out next time she goes down south… i think i just puked alittle in my mouth at the thought of that.

    blech.

  43. danielle

    #139. Could you be any more original? I mean seriously, that joke was told ages ago…kinda like when you were born.

    #140. Or better yet, http://www.whyhateonme.com…that way everytime YOU visit it, you’ll realize that you’re just too fugly to hate on anyone other than yourself.

    ..again. Another lame ass joke. Are you 3, or better yet…can you even count that high?

    Here’s a real joke: What do you call 2 fuckbags who salivate over each other and then jerk off together in a tub full of vomit?

    Answer: jrzmammy and Bitchport’s mother’s after they’ve screwed two street bums and have given birth to shit…(cough)…you guys…although I really can’t tell anymore. You two just act way TOO sissy like to be men.

  44. Bossy

    lmao @ richport… poor jks are so funny

    im clueless though… whos danielle? are we having a internet fight

  45. RichPort

    #144 – Please say her name properly, it’s damnYELL the cunt. She’s an online tough guy who has serious delusions of ever being funny. We’re trying to help her by suggesting she lick razor blades and follow it with a rubbing alcohol chaser. She’s my Halfrican-American queen, about 30 years too late for the Black power movement, with the IQ of a regurgitated grape. And she hates words longer than two syllables.

  46. jrzmommy

    “You two just act way TOO sissy like to be men. ”

    so do you think the “mommy” part of my name gave it away to her? was I too obvious?

  47. RichPort

    damnYELL is so stupid she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

  48. jrzmommy

    BIO of DanYELL the Cunt:

    Product of DC Public Schools; DC Civil Servant; Mother of four (Lexis, Dontaaaye, Uni’que and De Jamiqua)

    Characteristics: random overuse of Caps Lock; intense paraphrasing in rebuttal posts; hates white people yet goes to church every Sunday from 10 a.m. to 6:00 p.m and claims to be a Christian.

    Annual income: $22,000
    Amount spent annually on braids and acrylic nails: $11,000

    Domain: Housing project in SE DC

    Car: Nissan Maxima, soon to be repossessed by Eastern Motors–where your job is your credit

    Biggest Lie–Junior at Howard University

    Notable Quotable: “I is on my break, motherfucker! Damn!”

  49. danielle

    I just can’t compete with your intellect. I mean, seriously. If I were ever to meet you, I’d probably go to sleep within a minute.

  50. danielle

    JAZZYCUNTBAGWHOREMOMMYFUCKER’S BIO:

    *gratuated School for the Blind and Dysfunctional in 2005.

    *thee end*

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