Kevin Federline actually believes he’s a somebody

October 26th, 2006 // 101 Comments
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Kevin Federline recently told Entertainment Weekly that he’s the “most talked-about [person] of anyone over the last couple of years” and when asked who the most underrated performer in his field was he paused for about 12 seconds and replied: “Me.” Additionally, in an interview with People he says he doesn’t mind that everybody in the world hates him:

“If you want to hate me, cool, hate me. You know why? Because all it’s going to do is help me. I know who I am.”

And on his acting debut last month on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

“I shocked myself. There were parts that I wish I would have done different, but there are parts that really took me, like, Wow, did I do that? I looked at myself and I was like, It looked good. It looked perfect.”

And on being a father of four:

With each birth, “it gets less and less stressful. It’s just time to get my stuff down while they’re young. so I can sit back and watch them grow up.”

What can you say about K-Fed that hasn’t already been said? I guess I could start a rumor that his penis is so small he’s technically a girl. But that’s not really a rumor. It’s a fact.

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  1. happy hands club

    You are giving Earl too much credit comparing him to Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice has 10 times more talent than Earl…and that’s not saying much.

  2. The thing is, that “All publicity is good publicity” mindset that he has doesn’t work anymore.

    Paris hilton and Jessica Simpson are two of the most known woman in the country it seems, yet their CD’s didn’t sell shit. Kevin can think it’s great that everybody hates him, but guess what douchebag, people don’t buy CD’s put out by people they hate.

  3. jrzmommy

    52–Did you just say that Robert Van Winkle is talented? The Queen Mother, Lord-God of All Wiggers, Vanilla Ice???? You obviously weren’t alive in 1989…or are too young to remember…..it.

  4. RichPort

    Does Earl write his own stuff? If so, he wins this loser race by a pointy nose. At least Vanilla Ice could point to the Black kid who wrote his stuff for him… FUCK! I just did it again… someone please call Suge Knight on me… many thanks.

  5. RichPort

    And for the record, I’d buy Earl’s CD if it had a picture of Britney’s naked 20 year old rack on the cover… fuck, who am I kidding… I’d still pirate the shit. They should play Earl’s hits outside of Taliban strongholds in Afghanistan to force them to surrender.

  6. happy hands club

    #54….Not really, just more talented than K-mart. I remember 89 quite well unfortunately.

  7. The VZA

    Okay, his entire career path, combined with the post title, made me instantly think of that old movie “The Jerk” with Steve Martin. Still, Earl’s a better name than Navin.

  8. frenchtoaststix

    Earl wishes he had as much talent as Vanilla Ice or Milli Vanilli; which, as someone else pointed out, is not saying much. Earl’s overwhelming talent appears to be as an insperminating machine. Maybe he could help Madonna out and give her a wiggah wanna-be baby.

    Okay, 70s quiz time. Who else remembers this line: “Slide it, Earl!”????

  9. jrzmommy

    ……getting a dial tone……..dialing…….OOH, SHHHH….it’s ringing……….Hi. Is Suge there? This is Jrzmommy. Sure I can hold….I’m holding…..All right stop, Collaborate and listen…dah dah dah dah dah…With my ragtop down so my hair can blow…..YES? HELLO, Suge? Hi, it’s Jrzmommy……can you come over here to the Superfish and jangle RichPort out the window and shake some sense into him? Okay, thanks!!! Bye….huh? What’s that? Oh, thanks, you keep your chocolate starfish tight too, Suge! Word!!! Hee! Bye!

  10. RichPort

    Thanks Jrz… his goombahs thought it was funny to swing me out the window by my johnson… thanks goodness it was a 10 story building and no one was wearing a top hat…

  11. BarbadoSlim

    Oh, oh, someone mentioned Milli Vanilli, careful my friends for down that road leads to madness.

    Although, I wonder how it would’ve worked out for them I there was more Vanilli, than Milli, know wattI’m sayin’?

    more Vanilli, think about it…

  12. RichPort

    Slim – It might have worked if there was less suicide too, oh, and outfits that didn’t imvolve ‘men’ wearing blazers with fucking tights…

  13. Alie

    #9 – Tell us how you really feel. Don’t hold back!! :)

    btw, I agree with everything you said regarding what a douchebag Kevin is – but what’s up with the racial hatred going on ??

  14. nicholelibra

    I also agree with number 9, but Shar’s race should have nothing to do with it. The fact that your daughter brought home a man with two very young children by another woman should PERIOD should send up red flags, not the fact that the other woman was of a different race.

  15. frangly

    #9 Jeremy1Esq: Yes, of course, his first baby momma being a “woman of a different race,” that’s by all means the WORST of his missteps, right? Disown your child for that, would you?

    *ahem*

  16. kate

    “Do you guys know that there are tons of chics that love this guy? It is highly inexplicible but true. I hear that there are oodles of fansites dedicated to him.”

    This is the thought that will make me wake up in the middle of the night. What kind of loser thinks he’s cool?

    Its a special kind of asshole that thinks its great that everyone hates him. Most people would think “Gee, maybe I’m doing something wrong here that people with an ounce of intelligence hate my guts and the only fans I have are pathetic white trash losers”. But no, he actually thinks its great. Britney should be embarrassed. She is so over. I can’t imagine she would have one single normal fan left.

  17. lauren

    i’d love to suck his dick. and swallow. and give anal. then suck again. lots of girls would. he’s trashy-hot, just like all those trashy-hot girls that guys want to fuck. it’s funny that people can’t handle it when girls simply ignore the double standard.

  18. Yes, because that is what your children need from you… for you to focus on your own career (which is a waste of time) only to sit back and do nothing while you (watch them grow up).

    I am telling you, we need criteria about who is allowed to reproduce!

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  19. DansGirl

    I agree with #2

  20. Alex

    Kfed is simply your typical redneck. He wishes it was more complicated than that.

  21. BarbadoSlim

    Trashy hot?!?!?

    How about just trash. I can see how women may go for a “dangerous” dude (gang bangers, Xtreme athletes a mechanice who doen’t wash his hands)

    Earl is NONE of those things, you like him, you like freeloading trash, you are an enabler for these parasites. See how you’ll like him in 15 years when your daughter brings one home to mooch of you.

  22. commissioner

    jrz and Rich-

    I know you two assholes did the “running man” to Ice’s only hit.

  23. jrzmommy

    Ah c’mon Commish….how’d you guess?

  24. commissioner

    Just a hunch, since you knew the words and all. I will admit to having a drink with ol’ Rob. But nothing else happened, I swear. That dude from Warrant was another story.

    Crazy college days, man.

  25. jrzmommy

    (wikipedia for comedic value)

  26. tinyTy

    #47, that did take away some of my joy, but it won’t ruin my plan to tell this tale to every baggy pants boob I meet. Even if they find out the truth eventually I will have tingly joy at seeing their horror at the thought of emulating a prison bitch. I’m hoping that maybe guys will start wearing pants that fit so we can see their buns. Young guys, why must you hide your buns under these silly outfits? Show them while they’re young and firm.

  27. lauren

    I can see how women may go for a “dangerous” dude (gang bangers, Xtreme athletes a mechanice who doen’t wash his hands)

    i love how guys think they have a say in both what they like in girls, and what girls should like in guys. it’s funny because the first is a statement of their overt heterosexual preference, and the second is a statement of their latent homosexual preference. very revealing. slim, here, clearly likes the butch archtypes of gay culture. most hetero girls don’t.

  28. PrettyBaby

    #68 You would give anal? I think you mean receive. Although I suspect he wouldn’t mind gettin anal…

    Let me redirect you sweetie to the trashiness of Small Dicked Collin Farrel or Ugly Jamie Foxx or even the classic trashiness of Old Ass Jack Nicholson. Much more interesting! The only problem is you’d be lucky to leave their beds unbruised and unblemished.

  29. cole007

    “it looked good. it looked perfect.”

    my god, that is the funniest stupidest thing ever.

    like anchorman, “I look *GOOD*…REAL good.”

    check me out, I’m K.Earl, I’m hip, I’m with-it…duka duka duka duka … ooooohhh!

  30. BarbadoSlim

    What can I say, I’m at peace with my inner homo.

    That notwithstanding I also have eyes, a little experience and a sister who likes bad boys and learned a life altering lesson.

    not hot just trash no matter how much you rationalize it, honey. *snaps fingers from side to side*

  31. lauren

    lmao! ok, very clever, you win.

  32. sayll

    Sure, he’s a douche. But he knocked up a dumb rich girl so he wins.

  33. RichPort

    Commish – No one does the running man anymore…? I always thought the pointing and the smiles were because I was so damn good at it… there goes ‘the snake’ and ‘the wop’ I guess… what year is it?

  34. Jeremy1Esq (posting #9) summed it all up in a nutsell …

  35. aurealis

    Forget haters! You know what would really help him? People buying his music. Meanwhile, he wishes he could have changed some partssss? How long does he think he was on screen exactly? You can barely get a SAG credit with that little onscreen time!

  36. rissa

    D_E_N_I_A_L

  37. commissioner

    Rich- do you still wear the baggy knit pants with a super-sized shirt to do your thing?

  38. 1-Ton

    Whew! Good times, but anyways…..Save Hedonistica.

  39. When I saw his name on the opening credits for CSI the first thing I thought was “Oh boy! I hope he plays a corpse!” Alas, he played a thug and not very convincingly either. Brit-Brit would have been more menacing than he was.

  40. loagun

    Actually it’s a well known fact if you know anyone in the business that K Fed has a huge cock…

  41. TheOriginal

    God, if you’re there. Do the right thing and kill this asshole. This mean trick you’re playin on us all is outta fucking wack. Now, in the words of the evil dude from Resident Evil 4: “KILL HIM!”

  42. Mordak

    The only smart thing K-Fed ever did in his entire life was screw Britney Spears other than that he’s a complete moron in the truest sense of the word.

  43. tracyp

    Sometimes God really does have a sick sense of humor;)

  44. tracyp

    Sometimes God has a really sick sense of humor;)

  45. tanazk

    Yeah he can watch his kids grow up becoming Kevin federlineS. I think one’s already enough. I hate how he goes on and on talking good about himself. He’s not even famous.

  46. I think he is depressed/jealous (psychotic symptoms) because I thought it was ME that was the most talked about person of anyone over the past couple of years. I wish I had seen this ‘Kevin Federline’ insert earlier!

    (Is it true that Kevin Federline’s real name is Michael Wallace?).

  47. Truthseeker013

    I just had a thought! Since Missus Fed is in so tight with The Imperial Leader, why doesn’t she arrange a little hunting trip for him with the VP? (cue “Shotgun”)

  48. Bambella

    He is such a hole…

  49. James

    I love it when Leno makes jokes about this idiot. He can’t act I saw that episode of CSI with him in it and he played an obvious moron.

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