Kevin Federline actually believes he’s a somebody

October 26th, 2006 // 101 Comments

Kevin Federline recently told Entertainment Weekly that he’s the “most talked-about [person] of anyone over the last couple of years” and when asked who the most underrated performer in his field was he paused for about 12 seconds and replied: “Me.” Additionally, in an interview with People he says he doesn’t mind that everybody in the world hates him:

“If you want to hate me, cool, hate me. You know why? Because all it’s going to do is help me. I know who I am.”

And on his acting debut last month on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

“I shocked myself. There were parts that I wish I would have done different, but there are parts that really took me, like, Wow, did I do that? I looked at myself and I was like, It looked good. It looked perfect.”

And on being a father of four:

With each birth, “it gets less and less stressful. It’s just time to get my stuff down while they’re young. so I can sit back and watch them grow up.”

What can you say about K-Fed that hasn’t already been said? I guess I could start a rumor that his penis is so small he’s technically a girl. But that’s not really a rumor. It’s a fact.


  1. RichPort

    Earl is puts the moron in oxymoron. Has that been said before? Fuck it, it bears repeating.

  2. jrzmommy

    Yes, Earl, you fuckhead, each birth does indeed become less and less stressful….because you become less and less attached to each child.

    He’s, without question, the world’s biggest asshole.

  3. shmoody

    And in other news, K-Earl has been named the new prime minster of North Korea because crazy people with delusions of granduer stick together.

  4. Dara

    Of course it gets less stressful…while the rest of us have to actually raise our kids, he just hooked up with his gravy train and set off…

  5. God I hate him. But as far as being a freeloader goes, he’s damn good, so I gotta give him credit for that…

  6. BeautifulNightmare


  7. BarbadoSlim

    I can mention three things I would change on that episode of CSI:

    *it should have been a true documentary

    * Earl should have been dimembered

    *Earl should have have been killed

  8. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    He’s a butt-cheek, abalone, and spleen sandwich–with extra diarrhea sauce.

  9. Jeremy1Esq

    The easy thing to say is this guy is a douche or an asshole or a modern day Emperor with No Clothes, but it is societys fault he is so rich and in the public eye.

    If my daughter brought home a guy with kids by another woman of a different race he didnt even marry, my daughter would be disowned or have so much sense shaken into her that such a relationship would not take place. Not Britneys family. She could have married any kind of guy she wants and ends up with a guy that even the dumbest poorest trailer park family would not welcome.

    Then once he is famous for marrying her, people in power who can cast actors in shows like CSI or the WWE decide to call Federline. He probably got more to get bodyslammed then 90% of this country makes in a year. That gets his career going even more. Even if his work sucks he has a career financed by a stipper bimbo type wife we all bought records from thinking it would give us a better look at her ass and tits all while making her rich. Britney is the kind of girl who marries trash like this guy, whehter she is rich and exposed to the finer things in life or lives in a swamp in Louisiana. Money puts ignorance more easily into public view.

    No matter what you think of this guy, society has put him in this place. The lack of upbringing for Britney, the lack of any logic shown by talent casting agents, and we as a whole for buying whatever garbage they have to sell. He has no talent, no brains, no money of his own, but guess what, he does not need it.

    Federline is smarter then all of us put together.

  10. ApacheRose

    #7– I was thinking “drawn and quartered” would have given the episode some nice historical ambiance.

  11. laikiska

    he is such a waste of human skin and oxygen!

  12. Italian Stallion

    When the boy’s get older, he’s going to show them that CSI episode to prove “daddy” was an actor once. What sucks about all this is when they get beat up in school, which we all know will happen, they’ll think it’s ok. Everyday when they come home from school, if they even make it that far, they’ll tell daddy what a great job acting they did in school that day……………

  13. Raebees

    InstantAsshat — “He’s a butt-cheek, abalone, and spleen sandwich–with extra diarrhea sauce.”


  14. pinky_nip

    I’m still trying to figure out what “field” he’s underrated in?

  15. RichPort

    Damn, when he said he shocked himself, I thought he was gonna say he was diving for plugged in toasters in the pool out back. I mean this guy didn’t exactly eat from the tree of knowledge…

  16. Aphrodite

    Oh come on people!

    To have such confidence in yourself, even in the face of adversity is really quite erotic, no?

    I’d fornicate with him. Provided I was drunk, high, with him wearing 3 plastic bags on one head and 18 condoms on the other.

  17. “If you want to hate me, cool, hate me. You know why? Because all it’s going to do is help me.”

    Ok, Well I am helping the shit out of you.

    I help you and every other wanna-be rappah-ganstah just like you.

    I’ll never stop helping you, you illiterate, contrived, useless sperm-machine. Fuck.

  18. I’ll help him with a shotgun blast to the face, ala Kurt Cobain, with my 12 gauge, double barrel, pump shotgun.

    Shick Shick BOOM

    Shick Shick BOOM

  19. PS – You are Earl now, bitch!

    Damn Earl, you are so street!

    Yo, DJ Jazzy Earl, kick that hardcore ganster shit, homie.!

    MC Spermy Earl is in da’ Howse all you homies and Chess Club Kids! Hide your poop-hole!

  20. pinky_nip

    I hope his next acting role is in “Faces of Death”.

  21. Flip21

    Horay, more Earl Spears news!

    Except you’re not calling him Earl Spears yet, which disappoints me.

  22. Speaking of Earl, no not K. Earl Fed!
    “My Name Is Earl”. It’s an all new rerun at 8e/7c on CBS.

    “Very Bad Things
    Earl decides to take Joy’s side when she gets into an argument with Darnell; the purchase of an entertainment center does not turn out the way Joy planned.”
    Original Air Date: Sep 21, 2006

    Followed by an all new rerun of “The Office”.

  23. Italian Stallion

    @20 I was thinking as a “crash test dummie” for Dateline……..

  24. slantingthroughdarkness

    Everybody gots to be somebody.

  25. Each birth gets less stressful for him? Of course they do. He’s not the one giving birth.

  26. carrie bradshaw

    #9 – I agree; I am completely at a loss as to WHY people keep giving this tool work! He’s getting paid to make appearances, he’s getting paid for some clothing line (or maybe sneaker, can’t remember), he gets cast on a very popular TV show…. why isn’t anyone who has the power to do so slamming doors left and right in his face? Who sits around in a meeting and says Oh my gah- we HAVE to get K-Fed to represent ______. There’s a big difference between being the guy people love to hate and simply being the guy that everyone hates. Someone needs to put this little fuck in his place, good and hard.

  27. Ed Bambrick

    Well, somebody has to say it:

    Kevin Earl Federline Loves the Cock!

  28. hottie

    he’s smokin hot, i’d gladly suck his cock. lots of girls do. not would. do.

  29. bigponie

    satan tried to posses k-fed but realized he had no soul to posses.

  30. Elikapeka

    What is it about that CSI episode that he’s proud of? He looked like a moron, acted like a retard, and went down like a little girl. Is the the mark of a good blonkey? Indeed, Earl. Indeed.

    By the way Aphrodite, very nice.

  31. Stuey75

    he’s actually not successful. I mean he is riding his wifes coattails. They would have hired an extra for CSI, his albums sell…i hate saying that, but at least one sells because of his wife.

    lol they are the white whitney & bobby.

  32. BoognishRising

    “If you want to hate me, cool, hate me. You know why? Because all it’s going to do is help me. I know who I am.”

    Thousands of people hate you, and that doesn’t bother you just the tiniest bit?

    You, sir, are a fucking liar. Or extremely stupid. Or most likely both.

  33. tinyTy

    Okay, I’ve just been waiting for a story about baggy-pants K-fed so I could repeat something that I heard the other day. I was told that the baggy pants fad started in prison where this would indicate that you were someone’s BITCH! Please tell me this is true if anyone knows. I can’t wait to tell it to the next butt-crack baggy pants fool I run into. HEE HEE!

  34. PrettyBaby

    Do you guys know that there are tons of chics that love this guy? It is highly inexplicible but true. I hear that there are oodles of fansites dedicated to him.

    All I really love- the wiggerish yo homie stuff. It is really disturbing yet funny.

  35. misterveryze

    I’m kinda confused-didn’t he have about 8 lines in the show? What could he have possibly done differently? Not dressed like a wigger woulda been a good start I guess…

  36. RichPort

    I can’t wait to see him in his next starring role “Dateline: To Catch A Child Predator”…

    He’s a CAT cap and a oiled up pair of Wolverines from being on Maury Povich as Maury screams to the audience while Brit’s crying “Earl, you are NOT the father!!!”, to which he’ll give a reply along the lines of “That’s wiggety wack, yo”.

  37. Superevil

    #32, I say more like multi-millions

    #34 that depresses me to no end.

  38. BarbadoSlim

    Yeah #9, forget all the other shit, he had to go and fuck a woman of another race, that’s his real problem.

    So how are things down there in the compound, you guys still down in Butthole Springs Mississippi right.

    Stay the course brother there’s a war a’comin’!

  39. jrzmommy

    Can anyone here give me total proof that this isn’t Vanilla Ice?

  40. BarbadoSlim


    J.M. you just blew my mind, has anyone seen these “two” in the same room? Has anyone even seen Vanilla since Federline “dropped” on the scene?

    *cue Twilight Zone music*

  41. jrzmommy

    Barbado–There’s only one way to find out…..Have Suge Knight shake him up outside of a balcony…if he falls and splatters his brains all over the pavement…it’s Kevin EARL Federfuck. If he just pees his pants…’s Vanilla Ice.

  42. RichPort

    In defense (please shoot me later… I have some loose ends to tie up first) of Vanilla Ice, he actually did sell 10+ million records without marrying a multimillionaire hick. Earl is like the male Paris Hilton… he just says “that’s hot, yo”.

  43. gas_up_the_hrududu

    K-Earl: The most talked about, perhaps, but also the most universally reviled. You know, like anal leakage, crotch fungus, and Paris Hilton’s rotting twat.

    #9: You know what that attitude will get you? A brown grandbaby. Karma’s an ironic bitch with one hell of a sense of humor.

  44. BarbadoSlim

    True, true Vanilla did suffer for his “art”? as well (see Suge Knight). Unlike ratface here who only suffers hangovers.

    I also have a fondness for “rollin in my 5.0,” ’cause I have a 5.0 and therefore appreciate anything 5.0 related

  45. jrzmommy

    Rich: *stunned silence*

  46. laikiska

    #33: partly true — they weren’t someone’s bitch but the prison clothes didn’t fit them properly :)- check

  47. RichPort

    I feel like that chick from Heroes… my evil mirror image wrote #43… and here I thought I was just sleeping and dreaming of anally violating Kim Kardishian in my harem… there is never, I repeat , never an excuse for Vanilla Ice. Suge deserved the Nobel Peace Prize for that one. Damn you alter-ego!!! Damn you to hell!!!

  48. Why is it that the most UNDESERVING idiots have all the money FOR DOING NOTHING? I really hate him! White trash weasle.

  49. NipsyHustle

    of course it gets less stressful for him with each birth. when he had the first two he was sharing a 1 bedroom apartment with 5 other guys, sleeping on the floor. now he’s living in a mansion sleeping with a used up whore.

    with brit paying his child support and paying for the new guinea pigs they made, what does he have to worry about?

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