Kevin Jonas Knocked Up His Wife. Somehow.

July 10th, 2013 // 24 Comments

Kevin Jonas finally tossed a beaker of semen close enough to his wife’s icky parts that she’s expecting a child, E! News reports with possibly different words than what I just said, but don’t quote me on that. Except that’s not fair because the guy did marry a woman and impregnated her, so I should probably knock it off with the gay jokes. Because if there’s one thing heterosexual marriage proves it’s that you’re straight, and that goes double for having children and triple for being super-Christian. I bet he eats 20 vaginas for breakfast.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Beltliner

    Has anyone checked to make he’s not just standing next to a Farrah Abraham wax figure that was left out in the sun?

  2. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    boof
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like an optical illusion where you know her nose is technically smaller than his entire face but it doesn’t really matter

  3. Nonnie Moose

    *cough* Tranny! *cough*

  4. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    No matter which nose the kid inherits, he/she loses.

  5. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    Refund for Nose Job. Female version of the Danny Devito Penguin ?

  6. Mrs. Jonas-SeaBiscuit

    “That should silence the neigh sayers.”

  7. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    I can hear “The Nanny” through this picture.

  8. Some IVF physician just made a nice $50K or so.

  9. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the problem with truck stop gloryholes, you never really know who’s on the other side, and next thing you know you are at Walmart at 3:00 am buying diapers. Or, so I’ve heard.

  10. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    How do you get a dude pregnant?

  11. Slappy Magoo

    Why the long face?

  12. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    Farrah Abrams?

    • Nonnie Moose

      Could you maybe spend a small amount of the ad $$$ you get to hire a semi-competent programmer to fix the issue with the comments appearing under the wrong photo? It should take anyone who actually has a clue what they’re doing all of 5 minutes to figure out which index is off by 1 and fix the code.

  13. Cock Dr

    Does he know his wife just starred in an anal porno under the name “Farrah Abraham”?
    Is James Deen the real father of that fetus?

  14. pavement_smear

    Personally, I think it is very sweet that he didn’t marry just for looks…or she for orientation.

  15. Does he know he married to Farrah Abraham?

  16. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does her face look like it has a horizontal hold issue?

  17. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    Father Dougal
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only one who thinks she has a backdoor teen mom kinda look going?

  18. Brit

    How? Obvious:
    Wife looks like a dude.
    Jonas made a mistake and didn’t finish in her ass, slipped at last moment and slipped into the vag.

  19. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    FattyMcGee
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a man, baby! I am so sorry… I’ll go back to 1997 now.

  20. Kevin Jonas Pregnant Wife Danielle Jonas
    Grafikman
    Commented on this photo:

    You could win a gold medal skiing off that schnoz…

  21. poopy

    aw i think shes cute
    its just that her pointy nose distracts from the face
    unfortunate :(

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