Kevin Jonas finally tossed a beaker of semen close enough to his wife’s icky parts that she’s expecting a child, E! News reports with possibly different words than what I just said, but don’t quote me on that. Except that’s not fair because the guy did marry a woman and impregnated her, so I should probably knock it off with the gay jokes. Because if there’s one thing heterosexual marriage proves it’s that you’re straight, and that goes double for having children and triple for being super-Christian. I bet he eats 20 vaginas for breakfast.
Photos: Splash News