If you’ve ever seen The Girls Next Door you know Kendra Wilkinson might be legally retarded. But just in case you had your doubts, she posted an unintelligible rant on her website saying:
“I want you guys to know that I know that this fantasy land I live now doesn’t last forever and I now that and thats why i go to school. This can all go away in the blink of an eye so I am also using this situation to save money for my future. Oh yeah and what you see on tv is not always the truth by the way even if its a reallity show.”
If you sped through that your brain might have filled in all the mistakes with words that make sense and are spelled right. If you went through it slowly you most likely never made it out the end. I’d send a rescue team to get you, but we’ve lost enough men as it is.
Solaera | September 26, 2006 at 8:39 am
Hilarious. What a dumbass.
College Dropout | September 26, 2006 at 8:39 am
I think my IQ just dropped after reading that.
This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover | September 26, 2006 at 8:43 am
I could rant about what a retarded waste of space this bitch is all day, but I think anyone who watches the show doesn’t need to be convinced of this. I actually love the show, but I can’t STAND that they let this bitch speak. Every time she opens her mouth, I lose IQ points. What’s even more disturbing, is that she’s the same age as me. I’m a girl, I think Hugh Hefner is the shit, but I prefer to be intelligent as opposed to riding 80 year old pole “for my future.”
hamacus | September 26, 2006 at 8:48 am
O.K. she ain’t got the brains God gave a piss-ant but she would definatly win a race of rear entry gentry.
ZoomBoy | September 26, 2006 at 8:49 am
You call saving for the future wearing a bigass diamond encrusted watch?
Go fuck yourself.
commissioner | September 26, 2006 at 9:02 am
Who is this bad dye job? Why are her teeth darker than her hair?
PJ in PA | September 26, 2006 at 9:21 am
She’s like Lenny from Of Mice and Men but with implants and bleach-bottle blonde hair.
I’m guessing “Shhh – stop talking and get back down there” are words she commonly hears.
A2Bcom | September 26, 2006 at 9:23 am
Who cares how smart or stupid she is. She’s got great tits and lets face it, for some women that’s all they need. :)
UNWASHEDMASSES | September 26, 2006 at 9:29 am
I had the extreme misfortune of catching an episode when, as all to often, there was absolutely nothing on cable. She was ecstatic to get her jewel-encrusted grill delivered to the mansion. It really must be the little things that bring one joy. I love how that show makes that entire relationship seem cute when we all know it is disgusting. In reality, when the girls aren’t running about prepping for the umpteenth party or lamenting about waxings, they are engaging in foul sex with a geriatric who has to pop 4 viagras to maintain a 10 minute hard-on and who has become so numb to sex due to making a life off its exploitation that he admits he watches gay porn to ready himself for his younglings. You can just see Hef directing his three whores to engage in lesbian sex while he strokes his flaccid, chemically-induced erection while eyeing a gladiator porn. I believe there was an episode when the girl’s parents visited the mansion. They were soooooo proud their girl’s had come so far from the trailer park.
College Dropout | September 26, 2006 at 9:35 am
Everything about this girl screams country whore. I bet she like to carouse around at the local Piggly Wiggly. She probably prances around the frozen meat section in her bare feet, while challenging the locals to see if they can spell as many words as she can with a cock shoved in their mouth.
hav-a-tampa | September 26, 2006 at 9:36 am
so i guess she realized the show got cancelled, and she’s gotta look for work soon.
or she’s just a dumb blonde.
commissioner | September 26, 2006 at 9:53 am
Okay. I had some time and “googled” her.
She is what the Nazis commonly referred to as a “useless consumer of food”.
MyWellRehearsedMistake | September 26, 2006 at 10:30 am
She’s one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends.
I don’t think that job requires a high IQ.
What a fun life she leads: to not be good enough to be a playboy bunny but be good enough to get fucked by a really old man.
Spindoc | September 26, 2006 at 10:33 am
OK, Can I make a suggestion to every wannabe celebutard out there……..
When people are taking your picture, smile, or look serious, or whatever, but stop making fucking peace symbols, or any other kinda hand sign. It makes you look like a dumb-ass. You Hear me Kendra? K-Fed? I’m talking to you too. Justin Timberlake? Ashley Parker Angel? Yeah, you know you’ve done it too. Now STOP.
Oh, and Kendra, anybody who has ever watched the show can tell you’re gay and in love with Hef’s main girlfriend so please stop pretending that the relationship with him is real. My guess is he pays you to go down on her while he watches.
Ok, Rant over.
CelebSlam.com | September 26, 2006 at 10:36 am
My dog’s breasts aren’t nearly as nice
http://www.celebslam.com
Superevil | September 26, 2006 at 10:38 am
WTF is this going to school business? Unless it’s beauty school I don’t see it amounting to anything, and if that doesn’t work she can always turn to gaping anus porn for Hustler to supplement her income.
DancingQueen | September 26, 2006 at 10:41 am
This bitch obviously doesn’t own a freaking mirror because that is one HIDEOUS dye job! She should have used the money she spent for that dumbass watch and gone to a real hair salon instead of Hair Cuttery. Dumb slut.
Angry Ferret Jones | September 26, 2006 at 10:55 am
I wouldn’t say she is completely useless. I have a project that she could work on for me.
In my pants.
By my naughty parts.
Yes, Sarah Jean, I am talking about sex.
Jacq | September 26, 2006 at 11:03 am
Holly wants to edge the other girls out and Bridgette at least has a smart head on her shoulders. Kendra, where in the hell did she come from? She’s only 19 and a total tramp. Hef might want to re-test for dementia.
RichPort | September 26, 2006 at 11:16 am
This is the kind of peroxide addict that I’ll usually make an obvious point of talking directly to her tits, asking questions like “So, who are the twins?” or “Looks like your girls got snake bit! Let me suck out the poison…” or “Are you the one looking for the mammogram? Hef sent me…”. She looks like the epitome of young dumb and full of (Hef’s) cum. I love this fucking country.
Triumph Insult Dog | September 26, 2006 at 11:46 am
Mongo lik playboy bunny! wunt her to teech him 2 weed and wite good…
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
Grobpilot | September 26, 2006 at 11:58 am
I could give a shit less about her brains. Great tits.
jrzmommy | September 26, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Oh yeah and what you see on my body is not always the truth by the way even if they do look like boobies.
PunjabPete | September 26, 2006 at 12:47 pm
You know, breasts like those are why the terrorists hate us…. They make Captain Winky stand up and feel patriotic…
“Oh, say can you see….”
commissioner | September 26, 2006 at 1:52 pm
jrz:
mah hed is spinin.
ValeWolf | September 26, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Oh please. Everybody knows that all these women do is play a part of Hugh’s image. He doesn’t do either one of them. They’re just dogs he likes to take out for a walk so people think he’s still very viril and manly. And in return they live in the mansion.
The second younger girls come in, they’ll get the boot and so on until Hugh’s body stops being fed by scientifics. Which is never. Like Burns.
Praz | September 26, 2006 at 3:04 pm
I’d hit it.
But as hot as these girls are, I still can’t bring myself to watch this show for even a second. Oh wait, that goes for ANY reality show.
Brain Embolism | September 26, 2006 at 3:08 pm
@18 Angry Ferret Jones
Like OMG! I have the exact same project that she could work on for me too.
weenis | September 26, 2006 at 3:15 pm
second to last picture: “your penis here”
amajean040904 | September 26, 2006 at 3:32 pm
who cares if shes dumb shes hot
TorontoMapleLeafs | September 26, 2006 at 6:18 pm
wait wait wait.. shes 19? is this true? isnt her being with hue, rape or illigal? its like me being with someone my grandpas age right now. uhh.. barf :(
ScottInFlorida | September 26, 2006 at 6:46 pm
I have no idea who she is and I don’t care.
If given the opportunity, (consent), I would gladly insert my wiener into her pee-pee hole.
Sassy | September 26, 2006 at 9:37 pm
I dont even know who the bitch is. But you’re right, she does look legally retarded.
marc of teh place | September 26, 2006 at 11:07 pm
I bet she thinks what she wrote is really deep, meaningful and not retarded. It’s funny when they think they aren’t idiots!
And I think she’s counting how many boobs she has. DUUHHHHH TWOOO I FINK. Clever girl. Now stfu.
checkyourshorts | September 26, 2006 at 11:10 pm
It’s the Ottoman Empire, a golden prison, with some the old cod saying “Entertain yourself with this reality show before you gnaw off your own breasts out of boredom.”
I bet they don’t even get a salary, but get to keep gifts – in two years, she’ll be looking to smelt the jewelry, implants, cars and corgis.
checkyourshorts | September 26, 2006 at 11:11 pm
Not to mention Hef’s remains.
cap077 | September 26, 2006 at 11:17 pm
her hairline is white!
Dirt McGirt | September 27, 2006 at 2:43 am
I think it was #9 that said that the show tries to make it seem like it’s a “cute” relationship, and make Hefner seem like an old grandfather-like figure, but in reality it really is a fucked up, dysfunctional relationship. Yeah, hef has a good life now by some people’s standards: doesnt have to work, lives in a mansion, gets to have sex with lots of hot young chicks, etc., but, and I say this as not as a holy-roller or anything, but this man is definitely going to Hell for living his wicked life. Discuss
SoupaSarah | September 27, 2006 at 2:48 am
She is as smart as this dog? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/southern_counties/5383928.stm
By the way, who is this loser? Who IS she? who IS SHE!! Where did you get her from?!
marie-jo | September 27, 2006 at 4:27 am
She’s so dumb she used lube instead of powder foundation on her head.
popegoestheweasel | September 27, 2006 at 6:08 am
Easy on the eyes, hard on the brain. Yeeouch.
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 6:10 am
Don’t eat the yellow hair!!!
BeaGass | September 27, 2006 at 6:15 am
ummm, 32? either you dont get laid much or you have the smallest cock on the face of the planet. peepee hole=urethra……unless of course you meant your pee-pee hole into her cavernous cunt.
RichPort | September 27, 2006 at 6:15 am
Maybe she saw Hef naked and it scared her hair white…
billabong021 | September 27, 2006 at 6:44 am
I’d have to say that quote was actually pretty coherent even thought it had poor punctuation. Also, her face is shiny..
Nightowl | September 27, 2006 at 7:25 am
I think she’s cute. Who cares if she can’t use punctuation correctly? Come on ladies…..who wouldn’t want to live in the Playboy Mansion and be catered to? And by the way…she’s not 19, she’s 21.
eastboundanddown | September 27, 2006 at 9:32 am
It seems to me she’s proven to be one of the smartest reality show stars out there. She understands this won’t last forever. She’s saving her money. She’s going to school so she’ll have something to do when this is over. And she’s a hottie.
ch474 | September 27, 2006 at 10:53 am
“I’m not paying you to talk, get back to servicing Little Hef”
“Yes Mr Hefner”
“Shut up”
“hmmmummmummmnggfph”
“Now look what you did! I’m going to need a new pair of black silk pajamas!”
“(sfx-gurgle, spit, swallow remainder)”
Nice tits. If Hef’s involved they have to be fake.
EazyE | September 27, 2006 at 2:11 pm
She belongs on that show with Flava Flave (sp).
poker_n_d_rear | September 28, 2006 at 2:08 am
maybe im just an asshole but i cant remeber the last time ive wanted to fuck a woman for making an intelligent comment, the only reason anyone would carry a conversation with this girl is because of the possibility of fucking her, so why judge her brains, or the lack of thereof, judge her for her fake tits which she has plenty of. thanks