If you thought the recent Wall Street crash was bad (How ’bout that Dow today?), talk to Hugh Hefner: It’s costing him pussy. The recent credit crunch has forced the Playboy founder to reduce staff which fully, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt because they’re prostitutes explains why Kendra Wilkinson (above), Holly Madison and Bridgett Marquardt are jumping ship. The Daily Telegraph reports:
The 83-year-old has been told to lay off some of his staff at his Los Angeles and New York offices as soon as this month or go bankrupt.
The company has recently seen shares fall from £6.20 to £1.55. An insider at the company told the Daily Star that bosses had been aware of the worsening situation for “a while”.
“Only the top brass has known for a while how bad things have been for Hef recently.”
Spokeswoman Elizabeth Austin would not confirm the sackings, saying: “It is our policy not to comment on corporate matters such as employee issues.”
If Hugh Hefner, of all people, dies old and alone without giant fake breasts in his face, then my God, what hope is there for the rest of us? Damn you, stock market. DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Thanks to Josh who still dreams of having a stripper dance on his open casket.
Ted from LA | September 29, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Ill bet her poop smells good.
Id like to feel it
Alex | September 29, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Now, I’m scared for our economy.
miggs | September 29, 2008 at 2:55 pm
A dinosaur is dying.
Soon there will be more oil for us.
Binky | September 29, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Hummm…I’ve noticed a certain amount of ‘market volatility’ – as they say in the industry – myself.
FRIST!!! | September 29, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Ew! What is that??
ph7 | September 29, 2008 at 2:59 pm
As a taxpayer, I demand that the $700 billion bailout package include purchasing an unemployed playmate for every red-blooded American male.
HorribleJudgment | September 29, 2008 at 2:59 pm
So let me get this straight: Hefner, who is as old as the crypt keeper (and looks like him), has a shriveled up, veiny, urine dripping penis, and can barely walk, is about to lose the only two things he has going for him in his life?
He’s losing his money, and all of the women who were previously forced to fuck him, with their eyes squeezed tightly shut, including trips to the bathroom to vomit afterwards. Now he’ll die sad, poor, and all alone. Oh well.
Hey everyone: I got a new car today!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!! :)
meee | September 29, 2008 at 3:00 pm
yeah right.
i don’t trust american tabloid publications let alone overseas tabloids. give me a break.
Lloyd Richard Wellington III | September 29, 2008 at 3:04 pm
She looks like she came from the trailer park
TheRanchTooth | September 29, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Touch of snatch in pic 4.
Are you trying to get me fired fish?
superstar | September 29, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Holly, Kendra and Bridget are leaving the house?
Kendra and Holly are so pretty!
Deacon Jones | September 29, 2008 at 3:14 pm
LOVE this chick. She’s got fake tits, a bubble ass, and is dumb as hell, perfect combo.
jim | September 29, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Congress should bailout out Hef!
He done more for me than Wall Street ever has!
Protect the American way of life!!!!
Save the Playmate producing machine!
Mirkin | September 29, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Hef is so old, he comes dust!
Hay-oh!
Will | September 29, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Enough with the bailout jokes. The vote today failed, the Dow is down about 600 points. It looks like they’ve decided to let us crash, burn, and recover, just like Travis Barker. Enjoy your roasted genitalia.
toolboy | September 29, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Snail trail pic#5….
Rough Daddy | September 29, 2008 at 3:30 pm
That girl is build for one thing……………………..
yep you guess it Tea bagging check out Pic #7
Harry | September 29, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I have no doubt in a year or two, Playboy will be out of business. Publication is in the toilet in general, and Playboy hasn’t been relevant since 1990. These women were actors paid to keep the Hef mystique alive in a vain attempt to keep the magazine afloat. I guess they made some money on the series, but it’s probably not enough to keep his lavish lifestyle going.
havoc | September 29, 2008 at 3:35 pm
The money dries up and the girls bail?
WTF?
I just don’t understand……
.
CheesePiece | September 29, 2008 at 3:38 pm
I’d like to play her in a game of chess.
Loser must obey all commands of the winner.
mimi | September 29, 2008 at 3:40 pm
I doubt her pussy stinks as bad as mine. Of course this girl gets laid so often (me – never) that she may forget to shower and douche. I never douche or shave my cunt.
biggestpenisintheworld | September 29, 2008 at 3:46 pm
wow, mimi, no surprise on why your twat is more barren than the dustbowl.
Steve | September 29, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Jesus Christ Allmighty – don’t watch the stock ticker.
We are so fucked…
PunkA | September 29, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Kendra and Bridget can eat shit and run, but Holly is going too? I thought she wanted Hef’s baby and loved him? Wait, you mean she banged him just for a kid and a huge baby pension? NO WAY!
And I do find it funny how those 3 tramps were described as being on the Playboy payroll. I guess The Hef can’t pull in younger chicks without paying them. What a loser.
meh | September 29, 2008 at 4:00 pm
she’s 21 but looks like she’s 41. word.
ph7 | September 29, 2008 at 4:09 pm
#25 – perfect! I’m 41 but can fuck like a 21 year old. Kendra, come to Pappa!
Holyfuck | September 29, 2008 at 4:09 pm
#9,
I bet she did come from a trailer park. She is about as uneducated as they come and if you have seen the episode where her brother comes to the Mansion for a party, the dude is the biggest WIGGER of all time. It is flat out embarrassing. I had to turn the channel.
Yup, white trash. Through and through. But she’s got a great ass. She’d let you fuck it for the right price because afterall, she IS a prostitute.
Lux | September 29, 2008 at 4:10 pm
jiggly thighs with cellulite, butterface, nice ass though.
Beer Baron | September 29, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Well, apparently she’s not dumber than a bag of hammers.
JD | September 29, 2008 at 4:36 pm
These whores got famous for fucking a very old rich porn magazine dude. I am glad I have a university degree and solid career and don’t have to carry on like a bunch of cunts. And by the way, Kendra has cellulite on the back of her thighs!
Rich | September 29, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Is she naked under that blue dress or am I seeing things?? She is & I am, lol
venomhed | September 29, 2008 at 4:46 pm
All women cost money, and all women are whores, period. The good looking ones are the ones to watch out for.
NEVER GET MARRIED YOU FUCKING FOOLS!
Jimbo | September 29, 2008 at 4:49 pm
So this has nothing to do with the fact that she has to dry Heff nuts off every time hit sits on the pot to pee?
Jimbo | September 29, 2008 at 4:53 pm
@31 You can see nipples through that dress. I can’t tell if she is wearing a thong, but I don’t see any lines
I'm Obama & I approve | September 29, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Wonder if she likes Oreos??
Ohh, that’s right. She is dating an Eagles WR, so of course she does.
C’mon Baby…check out THIS octoroon. I’s running fo Pres-i-dent!!
Judge Judy | September 29, 2008 at 5:09 pm
#32
Get married to have kids and raise a family. Not all females are whores. Just the stupid ones that have no education and have to rely on being a slut for money and attention. Looks fade, dumb is forever, so females get a college education.
SueMe | September 29, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Guess it ain’t easy being a hoe.
SueMe | September 29, 2008 at 5:17 pm
I cosign for #36. Sounds like #32 is including even virgins on this one. What a stereotyper.
Old Hoe | September 29, 2008 at 5:50 pm
#37
It’s only difficult when the looks fade and the hoe realizes she has nothing else to offer.
super dyke | September 29, 2008 at 8:11 pm
this girl is a big ol dyke.
lidsay | September 29, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Nice boobs! she surely reminds me of the hot and sexy cougar I once met on __Agelessmate.c om__ I mean, if you don’t really care about the age, sometimes, you will enjoy somenthing better! kid u no!
getoverit | September 29, 2008 at 9:21 pm
#28 – if she has cellulite, that means you better get used to it. she is a playboy bunny, about 23, and if you have seen the show you know she loves to work out and spends most of her day at the gym. this means your average woman is DEF going to have some. and by some i mean loads. its pretty harmless if its like hers.
but i do agree with you that her face is BUSTED. she looks like trash. but her butt is pretty nice.
Ted from LA | September 29, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Her boyfriend is hot. I love me some black dick too!
gerard Vandenberg | September 29, 2008 at 11:20 pm
DON’T ACT PATHETIC, folks!!
farty_mcshitface | September 30, 2008 at 12:13 am
yeh, this woman is crap. she has a turd for a brain and she suffers from a pretty bad case of butterface. her butt is nice- not great, just nice. i see better lookin chicks everyday.
i do find it funny though that hef is runnin out of dough and now his trashy whores are leaving him. it all makes sense now after hearing that there would be no more mansion parties and hearing of his financial probs. he once had mega-bucks but during that time he wasted much of it on very average lookin bleach blond bimbos. that old geezer never had much in the taste dept.
Naive | September 30, 2008 at 1:29 am
You mean to tell me that those three pretty young blonde ladies were dating that 82 year-old-gentleman for the money? Are you sure? Really??
I thought those four were going to end up getting married one day. They made such a nice quartet, it’s so sad that they all broke up. Hopefully that nice man can find himself another trio of young nubile women that would love him regardless of what’s in his bank account. I just don’t get it.
mimi | September 30, 2008 at 6:27 am
I love Hef. He can do better than some dumb blondes anyway. He is not a bad looking guy and is still rich and a gentleman. I’d do him any day and so would most of the honest women here.
meborg | September 30, 2008 at 9:46 am
Those three whores were not very good looking anyway!!!! But at least they had to bang HEF! this is why women shouldn’t be elected for office
roscoe | September 30, 2008 at 10:20 am
one ROUGH twenty-something
JPRichardson | September 30, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Now THAT is a nice little cute princess there…