Kendra’s Breasts Aren’t Wearing A Wedding Ring

Yesterday, because we’re in the middle of the whiz-bang, non-stop action vortex of the days before a holiday weekend, I posted about Kendra Wilkinson flushing her wedding ring down the toilet because it was given to her by a man who swore solemn vows of faithfulness only to turn around and give a transsexual $500 in exchange for mutual handjobs. It was a taut thriller as much as it was a childhood limerick. And now here she is in public without said ring even though just 30 seconds of conversations with Kendra would make “maybe she swallowed it” the most likely scenario. Regardless, there are at least five other more important things my trained eye noticed in these photographs:

1. She’s not wearing a bra.
2. She’s not wearing a bra.
3. She’s not wearing a bra.
4. The way she holds her phone in her left hand suggests she recently consumed a meal that was Mexican in origin. Chipotle. With fajita veggies, but no quacamole because her brother’s an alcoholic who’s prone to making rash accusations such as avocados are burglars and Diet Coke causes rickets. But she drank the Diet Coke anyway because her white blazer suggests rebellion in an unrebellious world. She took two sips before realizing her nanny’s cousin recently purchased a Hyundai. I want to say Sonata, but possibly an Elantra. It will last 47,572 miles before suffering a broken axle. She’ll forgo a free refill in light of this information.
5. Haha! Turkey’s done.

Photos: The Media Circuit/AKM-GSI