Kendall Jenner And Blake Griffin Are Dating (It’s A Family Tradition)

If Blake Griffin and Kendall Jenner didn’t want people to know they were dating, they wouldn’t have gone out of their way to make sure paparazzi caught them exiting every place they probably had sex last week. Restaurants, spas, night clubs, you name it – Kendall Jenner has been giving Blake Griffin the full treatment. If I were a nice guy, I’d say that I wish them the best. Blake seems like a good enough guy… Sure he’s got a couple assault cases on file, but he’s an athlete, and nothing is more American than giving athletes second chances (and third, and fourth, and fifth*)… But I’m not a nice guy, and I think this relationship is about as genuine as a Shim-pua arranged marriage.

All the pieces fit perfectly. Blake Griffin hasn’t played a full season since 2015, so he needs some pub to get his buzz back up; meanwhile, Kendall Jenner is the closest thing 2017 has to a child star who likes coke (and I’m not talking a jab at her Pepsi commercial here). I don’t really understand why companies keep booking her for gigs as she has proved, time and time again, that she’s pretty ditzy when it comes to the whole “logical decisions” thing.

Could we be looking at the possible blossoming of a Chris Humphrey beta test for the 21-year-old Kardashian? Will the Jenner/Kardashian brood ever step outside of their rapper/basketball player boyfriend comfort zone? Where’s Rob? Has anyone seen Rob!? WHERE IS ROB, KRIS! WHERE ARE YOU HIDING HIM!?

*EXCLUSIVE* Rob Kardashian spends his first Father's Day with baby Dream and King Cairo

*Speaking on the athlete thing, and this is more for the NFL than the NBA, can we acknowledge how absurd it is that someone can beat the shit out of their girlfriend, on multiple occasions, and still play the game – when lifetime bans are tossed around like ol’ Kendall up here for something stupid like smoking weed or partying or anything BUT sending a woman to the hospital?  #FreeJoshGordon