Ken Paves is like a ninja

Ken Paves must’ve felt proud of himself when he “accidentally” got a handful of Jessica Simpson boob while leaving her dad’s birthday dinner this weekend. Except he shouldn’t get too cocky considering pretending to be gay around Jessica Simpson really isn’t that diabolical of a scheme. To put in things in perspective, I could tell her I’m a breast-fueled robot from space sent to protect Earth’s baby back ribs supply and she’d have her shirt off in five seconds before farting and asking why no one wants to marry her.