Ken Paves must’ve felt proud of himself when he “accidentally” got a handful of Jessica Simpson boob while leaving her dad’s birthday dinner this weekend. Except he shouldn’t get too cocky considering pretending to be gay around Jessica Simpson really isn’t that diabolical of a scheme. To put in things in perspective, I could tell her I’m a breast-fueled robot from space sent to protect Earth’s baby back ribs supply and she’d have her shirt off in five seconds before farting and asking why no one wants to marry her.
Photos: Pacific Coast News
sam | February 22, 2010 at 11:13 am
lucky son of a bitch
NOT FIRST | February 22, 2010 at 11:14 am
FIRST!!
Keith | February 22, 2010 at 11:22 am
Still fat, still short, still stumpy, still has a man chin.
bigjobsboard | February 22, 2010 at 11:33 am
That is one fast hand he got there! Quite lucky that Jessica Simpson didn’t slapped him hard on the face in that moment.
Bosco | February 22, 2010 at 11:38 am
That dude is touching sexual napalm………
whatever | February 22, 2010 at 11:43 am
Still mildly retarded.
papaROUGHzzi | February 22, 2010 at 11:44 am
No one wont marry you because you haven’t learn anything from your past relationships…Grow the eff up!
havoc | February 22, 2010 at 11:46 am
I would play with those blue, veiny funbags 24/7…..
.
Janne | February 22, 2010 at 11:55 am
That hand is not gay. Even the look on he’s face is like -yeah biatch, score!
barry | February 22, 2010 at 11:55 am
holy shit i did this same thing! only it was my penis and i was at home alone and nobody was taking pictures
toothepoint | February 22, 2010 at 11:56 am
Release them… fuck.. for the love of all that’s holy!
oermens | February 22, 2010 at 12:49 pm
i guess he figured it wasn’t a big deal after seeing joe simpson do it repeatedly while having dinner.
arealcad | February 22, 2010 at 12:59 pm
I wonder, when he honked those puppies, if they made that “ah-ooooga” sound.
johnny jism | February 22, 2010 at 1:52 pm
what I wouldn’t give to squeeze those orbs-’o-delight, as I cram my love-sauce-erupting-man-junk-a’twixt’em!
tc | February 22, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Pretending to be gay, then claiming ‘you cured me – I love you’ is one of the oldest, saddest, and cuntiest tricks since it became legal to be a bummer.
You would have to be a total retard to fall for it…. Wait…..
Ego | February 22, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Dude looks like a rapist. Guys beware =x
kramer | February 22, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Still would fuck her brains out.
adelaide dancing | February 22, 2010 at 6:47 pm
lol i know some dudes who pretend to be gay just to hook up, so lame!
YouTube Marketing Strategies | February 22, 2010 at 8:04 pm
lol… dude’s enjoying it
Jenny | February 22, 2010 at 10:11 pm
Joe Simpson: “Hurry up and feel them ’cause I’m next! It’s my birthday after all!”
sickitten | February 22, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Calling her ‘sexual nepalm’ is just John Meyer’s sophmoric attempt to get a dig in at Aniston. Jessica isn’t sexy. She’s not one of those cArAzY sexual bitches that men love forever and to this day send gifts in the mail. They never forget & pine after the true sexual freak. Loved my boyfriend’s face as the UPS truck showed up a bunch of times this past holiday from ex-lovers of years ago. Jessica ain’t got that freaky sexual kink going on. I can tell. Then again, either her or Jennifer Aniston can’t offfer up the fine gene and they know it. The reason why everyone leaves them.
Jeff | February 23, 2010 at 1:24 am
what the fuck happened to this broad?! EWWWWWWWW
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captain america | February 23, 2010 at 7:26 am
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4gb cf card | February 23, 2010 at 7:51 am
Stylist Ken Paves, had his face bloodied during a paparazzi crush outside of an L.A. restaurant. There were so many cameras swarming that some guy accidentally hit Ken near his eye with a camera. Jess and Ken made it to the car, and went directly to the hospital.
Anonymous | February 23, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Don’t have to be a ninja to grab her boobs just rich and white.
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