Kelly Osbourne wants to be Kylie Minogue

Kelly_Osbourne.jpgKelly Osbourne is apparently looking to revive her singing career by aiming to be the next Kylie Minogue. Although the most logical way to do this would be to eat Kylie and then become her, Kelly has gone against her instincts and prompted to simply copy Kylie’s electro pop sound and sexual innuendos.

She says, “I have learned lots about performance by watching old videos of Kylie.” And she intends to rival Minogue’s status as the most perfect bottom in pop, with raunchy sex-themed videos. She adds, “Sex really does sell, so I’ll be doing loads of that.”

No you won’t. Because what Kylie sells is pure, delicious sex, and you’d pretty much be selling amorphous thrashing. Why don’t you try to emulate someone more your league? Like Jann Arden or the Michelin Man? Then you could sell tires! You’d be good at that, hoss.

Kelly Osbourne ‘I Could Be The Next Kylie’ [Female First]