At one time I had the impression that Kelly Osbourne was kinda smart and self-reliant and not an idiot. Of course at one time I had the impression that the old guy who used to flash us on the way to school was Santa Claus, so maybe I should’ve seen this coming. Kelly, obviously very confused, recently said the following about her friend Paris.
“She was one of the few people who were willing to drop everything and come to my (birthday) party… We have fun together. Every other celebrity who is supposedly my friend said they wanted to go on the private jet and have their own (hotel) suite. She’s a fun person, and there is a sincerity about her.”
So it seems that Kelly is saying that Paris Hilton is a good friend and somewhat trustworthy. This is basically the same as saying that Hitler was black. You know how good-looking girls like to keep one ugly girl around to make them look better? Obviously neither does Kelly.
kiki | November 21, 2005 at 10:15 am
that gal you’re talking about is one scary looking monster!
(so is kelly!)
suzy | November 21, 2005 at 10:56 am
lol, who woulda thunk that paris and kelly would be the best of buddies?
it just makes me confused lol
smaddox | November 21, 2005 at 11:41 am
I just had the ultimate 3-some fantasy/nightmare (slapping head violently to remove image)
brattwoman | November 21, 2005 at 11:46 am
It is official…Kel has followed suit with Pa and Bro and has started using drugs. I mean, isn’t that the only explination on how she can say and even think such nice things about a person who cares more about a monkey than, well, anything!(at least for the next week or so).
Belle | November 21, 2005 at 12:30 pm
That’s true about how girls will keep a fatter, uglier girl around to make themselves look hot. Especially true in this case. Let’s analyze the situation.. Paris’s best friend, Nicole Richie- fat and ugly. Suddenly not so fat, not so ugly, and now they are estranged. Gasp, what to do!? So, Paris turns to Kelly, the only other fat ugly girl at arms’ length in Tinseltown. Sad.
fernanda | November 21, 2005 at 1:14 pm
omg, kelly looks like a clown in that picture. a B scary movie clown.
MortyFishbein | November 21, 2005 at 1:38 pm
This is an obvious attempt at Paris to get closer to Ozzie Osbourne so that she can screw’im and then add him to her “Old Men of the West Coast” collection, originally starting it off with Tom Sizemore. Nefarious plot indeed, Ms. Hilton.
Bill Clinton | November 21, 2005 at 1:41 pm
Kellylooks scarier than Ozzy tearing the heads off of kittens at a Black Sabbath shows heh heh heh I loved Black Sabbath back in the days I didn’t inhale.
Veris | November 21, 2005 at 1:56 pm
This is a malevolent P-Plan!
I get it, she is starting to hypnotize celebrities, in order to make them say nice things about her. With all the bad press, a girl is gotta do what a girl is gotta do. For god’s sake! Look at Kelly, she is GOT to be hypnotized, or… in a closer look… could be targeting a huge burger.
billabong021 | November 21, 2005 at 2:34 pm
Kelly definitely fits the description of the token fat chick although im not sure paris needs a token fat chick.
On a sidenote, Kelly is ugly as sin so she’s like some kind of super-token fat chick, one that makes anyone in comparison look super hot.
Zanathon | November 21, 2005 at 3:46 pm
If Kelly Osborne was smart, she would capitalize on her vast size by creating a group of all “plus-sized” band members.
Here are some suggestions for names:
Fat Face
Pudgy Pudding
Gravy
Candied Korn
Roly-Poly Stones
U2 Tubby
Lard Bizkit
Fudge Fighters
Good Cheesecake
Papa Roast Beef
Beastly Girls
System of a Dietary Down
Rage Against the Weigh Machine
Jefferson Star Jones Ship
Georgia Cellulites
Bon Bon Jovi
Obese’s Pieces
tori | November 21, 2005 at 4:05 pm
i can understand how they would be friends.
examples:
they’re both famous because of their families are famous.
they both get everything handed to them. they’re both bitches.
they’re both ugly.
ta da! i solved it.
an44 | November 21, 2005 at 4:23 pm
kelly osbourne = Hedwig and the Angry Inch’s angrier sister… um brother…? no sister…? whatever its a tossup…
The Scarlet Bitch | November 22, 2005 at 5:53 am
Dear God! Leigh Bowerys back from the dead! Get your PVC piercing bullets!
no.name | November 22, 2005 at 4:00 pm
you think kelly is smart? this chick went on camera and proclaimed that she thinks courtney love is a genius (and she was dead serious). wow! i must be an idiot!
melissa666 | December 29, 2005 at 5:06 am
O_o’