Kelly Osbourne and Paris Hilton BFF?

November 21st, 2005 // 16 Comments

kelly_osborne_thumb2.jpgAt one time I had the impression that Kelly Osbourne was kinda smart and self-reliant and not an idiot. Of course at one time I had the impression that the old guy who used to flash us on the way to school was Santa Claus, so maybe I should’ve seen this coming. Kelly, obviously very confused, recently said the following about her friend Paris.

“She was one of the few people who were willing to drop everything and come to my (birthday) party… We have fun together. Every other celebrity who is supposedly my friend said they wanted to go on the private jet and have their own (hotel) suite. She’s a fun person, and there is a sincerity about her.”

So it seems that Kelly is saying that Paris Hilton is a good friend and somewhat trustworthy. This is basically the same as saying that Hitler was black. You know how good-looking girls like to keep one ugly girl around to make them look better? Obviously neither does Kelly.


  1. kiki

    that gal you’re talking about is one scary looking monster!

    (so is kelly!)

  2. suzy

    lol, who woulda thunk that paris and kelly would be the best of buddies?

    it just makes me confused lol

  3. smaddox

    I just had the ultimate 3-some fantasy/nightmare (slapping head violently to remove image)

  4. brattwoman

    It is official…Kel has followed suit with Pa and Bro and has started using drugs. I mean, isn’t that the only explination on how she can say and even think such nice things about a person who cares more about a monkey than, well, anything!(at least for the next week or so).

  5. Belle

    That’s true about how girls will keep a fatter, uglier girl around to make themselves look hot. Especially true in this case. Let’s analyze the situation.. Paris’s best friend, Nicole Richie- fat and ugly. Suddenly not so fat, not so ugly, and now they are estranged. Gasp, what to do!? So, Paris turns to Kelly, the only other fat ugly girl at arms’ length in Tinseltown. Sad.

  6. fernanda

    omg, kelly looks like a clown in that picture. a B scary movie clown.

  7. MortyFishbein

    This is an obvious attempt at Paris to get closer to Ozzie Osbourne so that she can screw’im and then add him to her “Old Men of the West Coast” collection, originally starting it off with Tom Sizemore. Nefarious plot indeed, Ms. Hilton.

  8. Kellylooks scarier than Ozzy tearing the heads off of kittens at a Black Sabbath shows heh heh heh I loved Black Sabbath back in the days I didn’t inhale.

  9. Veris

    This is a malevolent P-Plan!

    I get it, she is starting to hypnotize celebrities, in order to make them say nice things about her. With all the bad press, a girl is gotta do what a girl is gotta do. For god’s sake! Look at Kelly, she is GOT to be hypnotized, or… in a closer look… could be targeting a huge burger.

  10. billabong021

    Kelly definitely fits the description of the token fat chick although im not sure paris needs a token fat chick.

    On a sidenote, Kelly is ugly as sin so she’s like some kind of super-token fat chick, one that makes anyone in comparison look super hot.

  11. Zanathon

    If Kelly Osborne was smart, she would capitalize on her vast size by creating a group of all “plus-sized” band members.

    Here are some suggestions for names:

    Fat Face

    Pudgy Pudding

    Gravy

    Candied Korn

    Roly-Poly Stones

    U2 Tubby

    Lard Bizkit

    Fudge Fighters

    Good Cheesecake

    Papa Roast Beef

    Beastly Girls

    System of a Dietary Down

    Rage Against the Weigh Machine

    Jefferson Star Jones Ship

    Georgia Cellulites

    Bon Bon Jovi

    Obese’s Pieces

  12. tori

    i can understand how they would be friends.

    examples:
    they’re both famous because of their families are famous.
    they both get everything handed to them. they’re both bitches.
    they’re both ugly.

    ta da! i solved it.

  13. an44

    kelly osbourne = Hedwig and the Angry Inch’s angrier sister… um brother…? no sister…? whatever its a tossup…

  14. The Scarlet Bitch

    Dear God! Leigh Bowerys back from the dead! Get your PVC piercing bullets!

  15. no.name

    you think kelly is smart? this chick went on camera and proclaimed that she thinks courtney love is a genius (and she was dead serious). wow! i must be an idiot!

  16. melissa666

    O_o’

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