Kelly Clarkson is what a ‘real’ woman looks like*

May 18th, 2009 // 194 Comments

Kelly Clarkson attended Z100′s Zootopia 2009 yesterday and, alright, we get it, lady; You hate jogging. Don’t get me wrong, I understand what she’s trying to do here, but it’s one thing to say the media encourages an unnatural depiction of women (Paris Hilton in a bikini, anyone?), and another thing to pick up a cheeseburger and say “I’ll show them! Nom nom nom!” Fortunately, it’s not like Kelly’s encouraging obesity which will be our ultimate downfall against the robots. Wait a minute– what are they paying you?!

*Right after giving birth.

Photos: Getty, Splash News
superficial

  1. Kirakishou

    Wow.

  2. lame

    chubbs

  3. Fug

    First..

    Thats what all fat people say

  4. zelda

    She’s adorable. What a sweet face, and so talented.

  5. Doc

    She is the real typical overweight American. I hope Americans understand the dangers of being overweight and practice a healthy lifestyle soon. The US cannot afford all these uninsured fat Americans with fat related illnesses like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and high cholesterol. Most of the US health problems are fat related.

  6. J

    I’m looking forward to the smug comments about how fat she is from the balding losers who live in their parents’ basements. (The same skeeves who were going on about how they would bone Miley, no doubt.)

    She looks fine. She’s immensely talented. This is an unfortunate choice of outfit. And that’s all.

  7. Shane

    middle linebacker material, …enough pork rinds already!

  8. jimbo

    fat and flat …..that’s always depressing

  9. havoc

    Holy shit….she turned into Chastity Bono!

    That’s some biscuits and gravy right there….

    .

  10. Ohhhh? so if food is not your best friend, and you have normal weight, youre not a real woman? i see! i got to write this down….

  11. 1-Ton

    Fat or not; she’s still an awesome singer (and still very pretty IMO). I love her voice and will continue to listen.

  12. Shamu

    Shure that’s not one of her roadies?

  13. J

    Oh look! Here they come now…

    And “Doc”… get a fucking life and stop projecting your dissatisfaction with your fat wife onto all Americans. It’s pretty pathetic.

  14. lalalosers

    OMG! She’s not a size 0??? Freakin’ fatty! She looks like… like… your average, every day healthy American woman. Wake up you media brainwashed assholes.

  15. Jim

    Roll her in flour and go for the fucking door. har- har.

  16. Mika

    She looks real……real fat.

  17. Junior Samples

    Is that a piece of greeezy bacon I see hanging out of the corner of her mouth?

  18. I CALL kelly A WHORE IN THE BODY OF THIS MESSAGE

    lol she’s a beast. gross!

  19. saviana

    uh lala losers, are you really striving to be the average American? if so, you’re looking at a gaptoothed, obese truck driver from the deep South, so maybe you should realign your damn priorities. every single day this country lowers its standards of acceptable weight gain. this is FAT. read it. FAT. this is not healthy. she’s not even close to a 0, let alone a 12. she needs a wake up call. and i also feel no sympathy for celebs when it comes to diet and exercise. they are paid to millions to do jack shit but sing and dance for a few hours every few days. i’m PRETTY sure they could squeeze a personal trainer into their budget/schedule. it’s their JOB to look good. get a reality check. THE AVERAGE AMERICAN WOMAN IS OVERWEIGHT.

  20. KC

    If she doesn’t want to go the diet/exercise route, she should at least invest in a decent padded bra. At least then there would be some balance. And the cheapo looking top (is that a t-shirt and a shrug??) and horribly fitted, unhemmed pants aren’t doing her any favors either.

  21. Duck

    Get over yourselves you geeky pricks. She’s kinda cute and her body is fine. I’d fuck her like crazy, and you would too(unless of course you like getting stabbed by protruding pelvic bones), she’s like a 7 and she’s fuckin rich. That being said, that hair and outfit are terrible.

  22. Melissa

    I don’t know about all you guys, but I would DEFINITELY not kick her out of my bed… or, you know, off my face.

  23. Amy

    She’s overweight. Plain and simple. Although, if we are going to see aneorexics all the time, we might as well see the other side of the non-healthy (i.e. fat people). I don’t understand this “real woman” crap. I really don’t. I was under the impression that me having a vagina, breasts, and birthing capabilities made me a real woman. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m not a real woman because I’m not fat. Although according to many other women on this site, if I am too skinny, then I’m not a woman either. If I’m tiny, like Hayden, them I’m an just a fucking elf. There is no winning.

  24. friendlystoner

    I think you`ll find the saying is:

    roll her in flour and fuck the wet bits

  25. Blue

    14 – maybe she looks like an ‘average, everyday’ American woman, but I think ‘healthy’ is pushing it. She’s not disgustingly fat, by any means, and she’s still very pretty. But she is definitely overweight, you can’t pretend she isn’t.

  26. dethbyrd

    i dont know what the fuss is, im pretty into the extra pounds girls. shes not even that big. you see all those white and mexican girls walking around with tight shirts and a belly roll that sticks out as far as their boobs? but look at kelly…i dont see no belly roll do you now whats wrong with kelly? ok she’s flat. i get that no one loves a big pair of boobs more then me, but damn , look at that ass!!! i freakin love this woman. she’s got a great smile, a cool voice, and a damn fine body. im liking this woman…

  27. oink

    Is that a Hershey’s Kiss tattooed on her forearm?

  28. Danklin

    Call me crazy but i’d fuck the shit out of her. She’s not fat by any means.

  29. GLADIATOR

    She’s not overweight. She is normal.

    Not like those anorexic or bolemic ladies on television or in the movies.

    Kelly you rock! I would date you in a second!

    Come and join the short and easy game mybrute:

    http://burpnassker.mybrute.com

  30. Racer X

    I agree with #28.

    /I’d hit it like a single up the middle

  31. labambam

    as much as i like kelly and see a lot of potential with her pretty face, this is NOT a healthy weight. But who are we to scrutinize her? Everyone has their own issues and flaws. Maybe she’s struggling with emotional issues? but people seem to lack empathy these days. However i dont think “real” woman is a valid justification for being overweight. I’m a woman, i work out and lead a healthy lifestyle, and i’m NOT overweight..that doesn’t make me any less real then someone who is 200 lbs. I find that statement generally offensive and ignorant.

  32. i would bang her just to say I did it… but that isnt saying much.

  33. Lineman7

    She looks fine to me…

    If she’s your definition of a hog, then where do I wait to slam the ham?

  34. The Voice of Reason

    Sorry to burst so many people’s bubbles, but Kelly’s body type is not healthy. Typical, common, and average, yes, but not healthy. A healthy body is one that is physically fit.

    I’ve come to see that the phrase “Real Woman” is generally used to describe a BMI that borders between what’s medically considered overweight and obese. Lovely euphemisms we cling to.

  35. Clay Aiken

    If Kelly Clarkson plops her fat ass down on your toilet, better get the plunger ready.

    She BEEFS.

    She’ll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of “From Justin to Kelly” she used to shit in the shower and heel it down the drain.

  36. Jessica

    First, you have to consider that any picture is going to make you look bigger than you really are. She looks pretty normal to me, not fat or overweight. I have naturally big hips (size 7 or 8) and breasts (D) and exercise on a fairly regular basis, but will never be “skinny”, that’s just not how I am built and she looks like she was blessed with big hips too. She can’t be that much, if at all, heavier than I am at 140 lbs (which is considered normal and healthy weight) , and she looks close to my height of 5’4. Not all of us are built to look like a 14 year old forever.

  37. fragile frankie

    @29 – Overweight IS the norm now.

    So to say, “She’s not overweight. She is normal.” is incorrect.

    The correct statement would be:

    “She’s overweight. She is normal.”

    Stop equating “normal” with “healthy”. It’s just not true.

  38. Deacon Jones

    @34
    Well put.

    Take a trip to Brazil, hang out on the beach for a week, and get back to me folks. She looks like a greeter at WalMart.

  39. she's cute

    #34 is right; she’s not healthy, as she’s carrying too much excess weight. That being said, however, she’s still cute & is a genuinely nice girl. She’s not the hot chick you want to f*ck all night long then dump to the curb in the morning because she’s so annoying (a flash fire). Nope; she’s the girl you get to know over a long period of time, get to like a lot, then start to date & eventually fall in love with (a slow burn).

    I’ll take the slow burn girl over the flash in the pan hot chick day in & day out…

  40. she's cute

    #34 is right; she’s not healthy, as she’s carrying too much excess weight. That being said, however, she’s still cute & is a genuinely nice girl. She’s not the hot chick you want to f*ck all night long then dump to the curb in the morning because she’s so annoying (a flash fire). Nope; she’s the girl you get to know over a long period of time, get to like a lot, then start to date & eventually fall in love with (a slow burn).

    I’ll take the slow burn girl over the flash in the pan hot chick day in & day out…

  41. thomas

    this is “normal” in america?
    Everybody here in Europe would call her fat.
    Fat, not very fat, but fat.

  42. testington

    I love her, but sher has gained…still cute face and amazing talent . A little chubby, far from obese

  43. Lord Privy's Seal: Master Of Adventure

    It’s too bad that her chub causes her tits to be kind of lost in the equation. It makes it look like she has a couple of cheese danishes stashed under her shirt.

    That being said, I’d still roll her in flour and fuck the wet spot. Chubby girls love the dick.

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

  44. Dr. Dogshit

    Jessica, 140 x 5’4″ is at the top of the healthy range. The middle of the healthy range is 125. You could certainly be there though, if you wanted to, all you’d have to do is burn more calories and eat less calories. Anyone who does that simply WILL lose weight. It doesn’t really matter how anyone is built. Everyone at Auschwitz lost tons of weight, because they were hardly eating any calories and still burning plenty of calories. They arrived with a whole range of body types, and they all looked like twigs eventually. Weight loss is what happens when you burn (or shit out) more calories than you consume. Weight gain is what happens when you consume more calories than you burn (or shit out). It’s not rocket science, people. All human bodies are malleable in this way.

  45. Yeah, nah. If I saw a “real” woman who looked like that I’d have no hesitation in slapping a PORKER label to her forehead.

    She looks like every other gross, white, middle-class, overfed teenage douchette. What a glorious role model. Let’s hope Kelly’s empowering sojourn to the trough of fuck-you-it’s-my-body makes every adolescent hobag who’s killing herself with sugary treats feel okay about their self-destructive, health-ruining overindulgence.

  46. Jeremy

    She is short and has no tits, not what real women look like outside of Mexico

  47. Darth

    Did she gain a bit weight?

  48. le fag

    i think she looks great. but then again… coming from a fag, you’d expect me to say that.

  49. Malnourished Starlet

    This is what real fat women look like.

  50. Malnourished Starlet

    This is what real fat women look like.

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