Kelly Brook launches things

November 5th, 2007 // 101 Comments

Kelly Brook launched “Kelly Brook Lingerie for New Look” in London today. Jessica Simpson could learn a thing or two here. She had the first step right, she showed off the big guns. I’ll give her that. But her British counterpart Kelly Brook went the extra mile and brought in some lingerie models. That’s how you launch something. I hope you’re taking notes, Jessica. No, you’re not. You’re eating the pen. That’s a start, I suppose. Just don’t swallow the ink agai– ah, shit. Hello, poison control? Yeah, the Simpson place. Ha ha, you know us. Anyway, just come right in. I believe we gave you guys a key when you were here this morning. No, no. The second time. Right, the swallowed battery.

Photos: Splash News

  1. 23apples

    HAHA! Ohhhh Jessica!

    Soooo model on the left hand side? Is an exorcism necessary?

  2. veggi

    Satan looks pretty hot in red! Except for the giant forehead, although I suppose there has to be space available when the horns retract for pictures.

  3. Who’s the fat fuck in the middle? At least she had the good sense to keep her clothes on.

  4. combustion8

    the chick on the left is about to puke and rotate her head 360 degrees.. and its so turning me on.

  5. ack

    i seriously have no idea who this chick is. should i?

  6. sla

    Picture #4:

    First model on the left looks like a mannequin. Second model shows why too much tanning (fake or real) is bad. Model on the right — what is with the winter leggings?

    Kelly is smart to choose models who are less attractive (or life-like) than she is. She looks angelic next to Satan-chick.

  7. the models look like edward scissorhands’ sisters

  8. JanOLeary

    I didn’t know “lingerie” was French for Beast of the Apocalypse.

  9. dan

    the model in the red looks like that guy from jurrasic park

  10. criscodisco

    The chick in red looks like Jerri Blanks.

  11. nipolian

    These have got to be British models, there is no way they would get work in the US.

  12. juls

    wow she’s stunning and so are the girls stop dissing you guys prob couldn’t get half as good as them

  13. wow, the girl on the left has a face that looks like the Crypt Keeper.

  14. wow, the girl on the left has a face that looks like the Crypt Keeper.

  15. lentista

    the chick ,i mean tranny in red bra and panties….that u can tell her halloween is over…. and tuck in (him or her) balls in more… u can see the tranny in pic #5 with red heals is doing a excellent job crossing her legs and not showing us her cock n balls……

  16. jo

    I love this site. Bastardly go F…K yourself

  17. What a gorgeous black lace blouse – it goes perfect with her coloring and features

  18. She just launched something in my pants. Bo-ing!

  19. Dee

    lol, i thought the one in red was dressed up for halloween. Maybe its a case of ‘wrong place, wrong time’

  20. jason331/3

    hey dan!
    yr comment on “that guy from Jurassic Park” is dead-on! i thought the same thing the moment i saw that models face! she looks like Sam Neil had his head grafter onto a hot chick! weirdness!

  21. creepiest woman in the world to the left.
    i’m hiding on the covers.

  22. Damned fine piece of ass sandwiched between the two trannys, or at least I might think so if I wasn’t so into the cock, … Damn my cockaholism, damn it all to hell!

  23. BABY

    Why doesn’t she show more of her tits as she usually does?

    i really wanted to suck on these.

  24. Ript1&0

    Goddamn it man, how the hell am I supposed to live vicariously through her??

    I don’t know who the hell she is and she’s not doing a goddamn thing besides holding a bra. Is the bra edible, perhaps? Is she starting a super singing pop group of trannies that do Spice Girl covers or something?

    Britney’s fucking tripping her ass off looking at disco balls while her kids rot in the car.

    Do better, England!!!

  25. Whatever

    It’s obvious the Crest Whitening Strips only cover the first 4 teeth! EWWWW!

  26. Chick on the left looks absolutely demonic while Kelly seems to have morphed into Rose Macgowan’s evil twin.

  27. makemepuke

    Slutsville Inc.

  28. Jade

    Eww the demonistic man-thing went a little overboard with the spray-on tan.

  29. catska

    yeah they are all nasty looking brits
    please please please visit:

  30. catska

    yeah they are all nasty looking brits
    please please please visit:

  31. I’m hoping it was Halloween when those shots were taken..

    what do you think of ?

  32. cookie monsta

    make up, make up, MAKE UP, get the fuck over here, pack your shit up, YOU’RE ALL FIRED ya fuckin stoners …………………..

  33. John

    God, she is beautiful!

  34. WOW girls, these are the shots indeed I love most. Girls in general have a body to be proud of. A man on the contrary has has just “strange” shape. If you want to compare it with a car, a girl is like a Maserati. A man is like an audi R8, including a travel-trailer!!

  35. Andy

    No mention of the zombie on the left? I have no idea who these people are.

  36. ha8ter

    Ugh- the girl on the left (my left, not lingerie model’s left) looks like fucking Linda Blair midway thru the Exorcist. Now I won’t be able to sleep cause I’ll freak out thinking she is under the bed. Thanks.

  37. tonycatman

    Best thing about her is her devastating smile.

    Funny thing is, all of her earliest (yes, she has been modelling for over ten years) pictures had her pouting.

    #31 And for those who criticized the Brits, this chick is two years older than Britney, and 7 years older than Lohan. I’d take her in preference to a plastic-titted terracotta peroxide coke tart any hour of the day.

  38. Sparqi

    Re: thing on the left

    When did Chucky have a sex change? I missed that bit of news.

  39. Disgusted

    LOL! For a second there I thought I was the only one who noticed the similarities between the chick on the left and the chick from the exorcist. I can’t believe the author of this website didn’t mention her demonic-like qualities.

  40. Hot! Who are they?

  41. jacknasty

    wow she looks like somebody mixed Rose McGowan and Angelina Jolie, but left out all the bad parts, and the crazy/goth parts….and hopefully the home-wrecking parts

  42. Quinn

    Those are the scariest lingerie models I’ve ever seen. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS…. that’s better.

  43. 12:51

    scary oversized demonic oompa loompa

  44. would definitely not buy the lingerie!

  45. John


    Ms. Brook’s devastating smile: agreed
    preferring Ms. Brook over Spears/Lohan: agreed

    Based on your astute observational skills and fine taste, I declare you my personal hero for the period of 1 day.

  46. RENEE Z...

    The one on the right looks like an ugly Demi Moore/Bruce Willis spawn…yipes. And the one on the left looks like she’s done one too many cosmetic procedures. And the one in the middle is just ho-hum boring.

  47. The Obvious

    To call them “models” might be an overstatement.

  48. Ript1&0

    @47 – Yeah, but Britney would eat acid and fuck you for 12 hours straight. Would Little Miss English World do that for you?

    I don’t think so. (No matter what she says).

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