Kelly Brook has reunited with Billy Zane after dumping him then getting super jealous when he started dating someone else. True story, according to News of the World:
They kept the break-up secret for two months and remained friends, with Billy even telling her about his new love. Gradually, she realised she wanted him back and set about wooing him over a series of long-distance phone calls to South Africa, where Billy has been filming new movie Surviving Evil.
Pals are shocked by her decision though. The source added: “Kelly could have any man in the world. She’s panicked but we feel she should have moved on. It’s clear he had.”
Okay, first, yes, I incorrectly reported that Billy dumped Kelly. Why I would think a man of that baldness would dump a girl of such boobness is beyond me. I blame the drink. Anyway, can you imagine being wooed by Kelly Brook? The girl thinks sex is an aerobic activity. What does she do for wooing? I bet it’s something really awesome. Like baking cookies or taking pictures of herself playing Mario Kart naked. Holy shit, hottest sentence I’ve ever written! This one’s going on the fridge….