Kelly Brook in a bikini! And, oh yeah, something about Billy Zane, I dunno

The Superficial / May 20, 2008

Kelly Brook has reunited with Billy Zane after dumping him then getting super jealous when he started dating someone else. True story, according to News of the World:

They kept the break-up secret for two months and remained friends, with Billy even telling her about his new love. Gradually, she realised she wanted him back and set about wooing him over a series of long-distance phone calls to South Africa, where Billy has been filming new movie Surviving Evil.
Pals are shocked by her decision though. The source added: “Kelly could have any man in the world. She’s panicked but we feel she should have moved on. It’s clear he had.”

Okay, first, yes, I incorrectly reported that Billy dumped Kelly. Why I would think a man of that baldness would dump a girl of such boobness is beyond me. I blame the drink. Anyway, can you imagine being wooed by Kelly Brook? The girl thinks sex is an aerobic activity. What does she do for wooing? I bet it’s something really awesome. Like baking cookies or taking pictures of herself playing Mario Kart naked. Holy shit, hottest sentence I’ve ever written! This one’s going on the fridge….