Kelly Brook in a bikini

August 19th, 2008 // 56 Comments

British model/actress Kelly Brook decided to celebrate her recent split from Billy Zane by hitting up Saint-Tropez and posing in a bikini. I guarantee I could probably roll up on Kelly and woo her by simply saying “Did you notice all my hair? It’s on my head.” She’d be like putty in my hands – which I would then mold into giant breasts because, dammit, I love romance.

superficial

  1. ph7

    Back to the Glorious bikinis after a detour of metrosexuals and cancer downers.

    YES!

  2. meh

    chunky

  3. Scary

    Her ass is disturbingly flat, with some slight saddle baggage.

    Sign of old age.

    DO NOT WANT.

  4. Spanky

    Now that is some tasty taco. What she ever saw in her ex is unkown. I bet she is freaky in the sack.

  5. pasty

    cut the tag out woman geez. See pic 6.

  6. To bad the photographer did not get a good shot of her vajayjay when she came out of the water. It looks like you can see right through those bottoms..

  7. Teef

    @6: Check her out while in the water (picture 8) – She’s got herself a bit of a landing strip =)

  8. Spanky

    #6 – I have seen some prior pictures. She shaves the beast bald. Very tasty. Would have made a better picture. maybe in the Jessica Alba bent over bikini pose.

  9. Flat ass..it seams she’s spending a lot of time on her back

  10. Ed Castillo

    Warm hotberry pie.

  11. havoc

    #7 good call….

    .

  12. therusskie

    You ppl are nuts! She’s so hot. So real and so hot. She’d look killer in trashy lingere and $100000 million dollar gown. Show me another broad that could pull that shit off?

    Plus, she looks like she lots some weight since those Billy Zane photos. She looks great. Don’t be haters!

  13. Spanky

    I could not wait any longer. 12 comments is enough.

    You can find her personal profile and other pictures where she wants to meet you on bitemyhairyass.com. There are other profiles there also.

  14. Scary

    Look at the saggy flat ass in pic #9. She looks good, of course, but age is beginning to take its toll…she will not age well…

  15. jet

    Her boobs are too big for her ass!

  16. Billy zane got to stick that!!! That lucky bastard.

  17. meh

    Wait, KB & BZ broke up *again*? It’s hard to keep up with those two.

  18. Deacon Jones

    @7
    That’s fucking nasty.

    Nothing worse then getting a cunt pube stuck in your throat (i.e. Larry David)

    She’s starting to fade on the hotness scale. Time to start drinking daily or taking Lithium bitch. Billy Zane is certainly onto the next pussy project of the month.

  19. Li

    I don’t uderstand how she can be a model with that kind of an ass?? It is ugly..
    Here in Serbia, every woman you see on the street is more beautiful then that..

  20. Yawn

    I’m not impressed..and that’s an ugly fucking bathing suit too..and I’m also getting tired of seeing these “bitches in bikinis” stories too. You need to find better stories, your ass is beginning to hit rock bottom….

  21. ugh

    whatever, still feel insufficient looking at these pictures. wish my boobies were bigger. ugh

  22. HelioMobile

    Another Bikini Blog? ………….Zzzzzzz! I’ll hit hit.

  23. YesAndNo

    Why does this woman always wear the ugliest swimsuits? She seems stuck in the early 90s.

  24. rough daddy

    bitches like this are a dime a dozen in L.A. and N.Y. whats the fuss she got dump by billy INzane?

  25. anonymizer

    Without trying to sound shallow, I don’t know how you could screw up a relationship with this woman. Unbelievable. I like smart women, but, if this woman has a high school education and isn’t a bitch, I can’t see where the problem would lie?

  26. Run n Gun

    Well, at least she knows her role – a sex object.

    It would be nice if the American chicks started realizing this, and weren’t a bunch of stuck up, self righteous cunts who thought they could get by with their brains and all the sudden don’t have to sick dick AND like it.

    Know your role cunts! Maybe we wouldn’t be in a fucking war if you actually gave up oral and anal every once in while. Maybe your fag closeted Republican husbands would get SOME kind of release and wouldnt feel the need of bombing someone

  27. She looks great, (aside from the cheesy, “I’m totally posing for ‘candid’ photos”, pictures).

  28. Barbie

    Hey #3 I am guessing anyone over the age of 10 looks saggy and old.

    The paradox for me is how can a woman be so pretty to look at and yet photograph so utterly boring? The photographer is not exactly the best at natural poses….

  29. Rafe

    Run N Gun I am sure you’ve sicked your share of dick.

  30. Observer

    Okay I know this isn’t the point…but call me crazy…I thought Billy Zane was openly gay…what’s he doing dating her? LOL Does she have spare parts I am not aware of? Or did Zane zoom right back into the closet?

  31. Em

    #23 – Couldn’t agree more. And it’s not just swimsuits – there’s no denying she’s beautiful, but girl usually looks like she dressed herself in the dark, straight out of the 90′s wardrobe bin. Ick.

  32. JPRichardson

    Closest to perfection I’ve seen today.

  33. jaime

    is it just me or is the lower part of the bikini a bit thin, and you can kind of see the bush under there?

    she’s hot, by the way.

  34. Run n Gun

    @29

    Why yes, I “sicked” some last night

  35. dude_on

    Maybe he couldn’t keep the seat down. I’ve heard that rant. It can get out-of-hand.

    She should write a book, or do porn. She could do well with some visibility.

  36. Holden Caulfield

    Hottest chick on this site in ages. I’d give her a vicious tongue-lashing.

  37. Randal

    The first time I noticed you hanging out at the Fish, it was your eyes and that smile that captured my gaze.

    Although you have, at times, worn strange outfits to promote books and other gear, the glitter in those eyes and the sparkle in your smile still remain.

    For that, you are one of the tops.

    Keep capturing those stars you use to create such a sparkle around yourself.

    XOXO

    Randal

  38. Dee

    She looks great! Fantastic figure, and her swimsuit is cute too!

    Billy Zane is an idiot to have lost that!

  39. Joe C

    So they’re split again? I thought Zane had begged his way back into that pussy.

  40. The Edit

    Flat butt, not good…but she’s still an effin’ babe.

  41. dogonabone

    she’s beautiful.

  42. Cracker-Mutt

    Cameos and bad films seem to be a staple for her these days. She wants to act more than model I guess.
    ‘Survival Island’ was the best thing she’s done over the last couple years, and it sucked. She also showed up in ‘Hotel Babylon’ once and co-starred in
    ‘Fishtales’ – a movie with Zane about a widowed father who falls in love with a mermaid. Jeez … what a novel idea for a movie. Nobody’s ever thought of THAT one before. Can’t understand why it wasn’t a block-buster hit that made them both millions.
    She’s currently in a boring assed TV show called “Moving Wallpaper” a television series on ITV about nobody doing nothing and getting paid
    Her modeling career may have faded away, but her looks have not. She simply aged and is rounding out by trying something new ………………….
    “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” ???

  43. Mynheer Peeperkorn

    I could be uppity and self-righteous and complain about yet another bikini post of a non-celebrity. But this one is good. Really, really good. Can you deny the evidence of a God now? Could science ever perfect a woman with such delicious flaws? One day He said, “I will make Kelly Brook’s torso, and then the lion shall lay down with the lamb.” My mouth is literally watering from the top picture, that diaper-sized and modest yet almost transparent bikini bottom, the glistening hair, the aggressive chest, and above all, that stomach and hips, so lush and womanly, like Eve in paradise, you just want to fill her up with seed and start a family of 10,000… YOW.

  44. SHE IS HOT >>>>> EOM

  45. Whaaat, she looks 90′s? because she doesnt have a tan and her hair is STILL brown!! What a bitch she should be ashamed of herself

  46. rose

    “I have seen some prior pictures. She shaves the beast bald. Very tasty”
    No, I found many beautiful pictures of her at a celeb site Richromances.com. She looks great!

  47. back in black

    yuck white people

  48. Bob White

    #34 Ever heard of photoshop? I would bet the magazine pic has a bit more retouching than the “candids” which are about as candid as that blonde Heidi bitch from the hills and her fag boyfriend.

    #35 Doesn’t she look like something that has been hit by a car or a baby trying to raise it’s head…somehow this is not sexy.

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