Kelly Brook dumped by idiot Billy Zane

Billy Zane just doomed himself to a lonely, bald existence after calling off the engagement to British actress/model Kelly Brook. Think of her as an English Kim Kardashian. But, you know, healthy and not walking a razor’s edge towards morbid obesity. Us Magazine reports:

“We can confirm that Kelly and Billy have split,” Brook’s manager, John Fowler, tells
Brook wasn’t wearing her engagement ring at a TV awards show on Sunday, according to British reports.

Okay, how do you ditch a girl like Kelly? She A.) thinks sex is a form of aerobics and B.) is practically a nudist. Wow, I mean, Kelly, if you’re reading this, I would totally appreciate all your wonderful talents. I’d think you’d find me a kind, considerate, gentlemanly suitor whose attentive to a woman’s needs. So, that said, visit me at my personal website **** I BANG LIMEYS DOT COM for good time romance of the heart. See there you!

Photos: Splash News