Kelly Brook dumped by idiot Billy Zane

April 23rd, 2008 // 68 Comments

Billy Zane just doomed himself to a lonely, bald existence after calling off the engagement to British actress/model Kelly Brook. Think of her as an English Kim Kardashian. But, you know, healthy and not walking a razor’s edge towards morbid obesity. Us Magazine reports:

“We can confirm that Kelly and Billy have split,” Brook’s manager, John Fowler, tells Usmagazine.com.
Brook wasn’t wearing her engagement ring at a TV awards show on Sunday, according to British reports.

Okay, how do you ditch a girl like Kelly? She A.) thinks sex is a form of aerobics and B.) is practically a nudist. Wow, I mean, Kelly, if you’re reading this, I would totally appreciate all your wonderful talents. I’d think you’d find me a kind, considerate, gentlemanly suitor whose attentive to a woman’s needs. So, that said, visit me at my personal website **** I BANG LIMEYS DOT COM for good time romance of the heart. See there you!

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. mimi

    NO ONE CARES!

    How’s Britney Today?

  2. mimi

    No one cares that I’m FIRST either!

    Not even me!

    That’s how lame this site is.

  3. haha

    LOLZZZZZZZ

    wat a doofus!!!!

  4. Serial Rapist

    I’d munch that corn hole while I put a bullet in Kim. Maybe two or three; that troll has skin like a manatee.

  5. Quavis

    Friggin idiot. She’s hot! I’ll take her.

  6. ph7

    She looks like a major pain in the ass.

    Good move on Billy Zane’s part. Getting engaged guarantees full exploratory sex, but the savvy male never follows through with the actual marriage part.

    Get engaged, enjoy the super wild sex, but get out before she starts any actual planning.

  7. caramac

    She dumped him actually.

  8. stan

    Idiot? He’s a genius. She’s going to turn 30 this year, which is an age that definitely deserves the word “turn.” He used her up during her good years, and now he’s going to bungee back to 20 years old for the next one. Brilliant.

  9. hm.

    if only she were blonde and had the face of a woman, she would be a perfect human….that body is litterally PERFECT.

  10. sharpeidude

    Oh yeah, Billy….you ditched her. Riiiiiiiigggggght.

  11. kerry

    Every other source is saying SHE broke up with HIM.

  12. dude

    Maybe it was like dating Mimi.

  13. Quaker

    That face is scary. Ugh. She’s got a bad case of the Gisele’s…

  14. gossipmonger

    kerry – April 23, 2008 1:56 PM – Every other source is saying SHE broke up with HIM.

    That’s what I’d read, over and over too…
    ‘Fish, get your stories straight, would ya??

  15. noneyabeezwax

    yes, she is hot. but as the ole saying goes

    “you show me the hottest woman in the world, and i’ll show you a guy that’s tired of her shit”

  16. NY Ted

    Geez…for a limey she even has all of her teeth and healthy too!

    But I hear backwoods hick and no talent out of work actor Zane who loves his crack pipe more then Kelly…likes those no teeth gum sucking trailer trash harlots from the deep south!

  17. I hate you

    I thought Zane was gay until I found out he was dating this one. This confirms it.

  18. Realist

    She probably got tired of all the, “Does this make me look bald?” questions. And the, “How nice, you’re here with your father.” comments.

  19. PrettyPinkPonies

    It’s who’s, not whose. Whose is possessive.

  20. jackie OOOOO

    LOL @ 13 and 20

  21. Chelsea

    ERM she actually dumped HIM because she didnt want to get MARRIED. Get your facts straight………..

  22. absolute

    She looks alwasy beautful. I love her. I saw her profile on a milllionaire dating site ——”W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m****** last week. It is said she is dating a young billionaire on that site now.

  23. I CAN HATE ALL DAY....CAUSE I DON'T HAVE A JOB

    NO MATTER HOW GORGEOUS A WOMAN IS THERE IS ALWAYS A GUY SOMEWHERE WHO IS SICK OF FUCKING HER. BILLY SAYS GOOD DAY TO HER.

  24. ph7

    What is it with posting pictures of all these old hags lately (over 30)?

    We want hot women, not used, dried up goats.

  25. Her earrings look heavy..

    Sorry, got nuthin.

  26. Skeezoid

    Best news of the year!!
    Screw the restraining order, I’m back on the hunt. Posters back up…got five gallons of Kelly Brook perfume at home even though I don’t bathe. Best of all, now I don’t have to kill Billy Zane and eat his liver. (Though I will have to kill ph7 and Quaker–sorry, Clarice.)

  27. Mariah

    Maybe she doesn’t want to have kids. Although I don’t know why that would upset anybody.

  28. Hey it’s Secretary Day!!! I just got flowers.

    Like any of you care. All you want to do is gossip..

  29. Do you have an…interesting…relationship with your boss?

  30. ph7

    I cry at night when I watch Dirty Dancing and mom takes pictures of it and brings them to her office.

  31. Harry

    Because even if you’re only “Billy Zane Famous”, there’s always a younger, better model around the corner. There are girls 10x hotter, younger than her just walking around my Los Angeles neighborhood, all of them looking to hook up with someone “Billy Zane famous”. Hell, I’ve seen these girls fighting over David Spade!

  32. me

    I care FRIST!!
    Our secretary got some too, and I was hoping they were from my husband cause he’s a complete dickfuck and figured he was sorry…. but, no…

    Looks like that 21 year old down at the bar will be in for a treat tonight..

    I kid.

  33. fygu

    #25 please go over to Disney.com and look at pictures of Miley Cyrus since you are obviously underage.

  34. Jimbo

    My boss’s 14-year-old daughter works in the office as a secretary during the afternoon and today I’m planning on giving her deflower.

  35. JohnnE

    How do you know he dumped her? I bet she dumped his bald saggy ugly ass.

  36. NY Ted

    Sorry guys, I still have not fully recovered from the World Trade Center falling on me a few years back….

  37. I hate you

    Big floppy donkey dick!

  38. Gia

    lol!

    Think of her as an English Kim Kardashian. But, you know, healthy and not walking a razor’s edge towards morbid obesity.

    lol!

    I’ve never heard of this person but she looks lovely.

  39. Perv

    #25

    You need to go to the following site:

    http://www.BarelyLegal.com

  40. Hats Off

    I always respect men who hesitate to marry bimbos. First it was Cash Warren, and now this.

    Kelly should have gotten pregnant, like Alba.

  41. tonycatman

    Who is this person you ask? Happy to inform.

    MAXIM (UK) #1 on at least one occasion.
    Presenter breakfast TV (UK) for a while.
    Done a few films – including playing lead.

    Too nice / beautiful for the bald, rubbish ex-actor.

  42. Ted Mosby

    Who needs mouthwatering mouthfuls like the funbags Kelly has?

    Obviously not Billy Zane.

  43. Kayleigh Chrzan

    she should get back with Jason…

  44. Grunion

    Her cock wasn’t big enough for Zane.

    At least now he’s free to make “Sniper 7: Belgium Meltdown”

  45. Champ

    Hawt.

  46. abdo

    mmm..I think he’s had enough of all that aerobics thing with her..
    Time to change maybe..anyhow who cares!!
    Anything about Britney ?

  47. Good-Looking, But . . . .

    Am I the only person here who thinks her chest looks manly? Those implants are much too square. Not natural looking at all. Yes, she’s a very good-looking gal, but that chest looks weird!

  48. UNCLE NED

    She’s probably a nagging bitch, albeit a beautiful nagging bitch, but after he hit it a few hundred times, maybe Billy just woke up and realized she’s not the one. Cindy Crawford got dumped by Richard Gere, Salma Hayek got dumped by Ed Burns – serves ‘em right. It helps to keep nature in its proper order.

  49. EAC

    IF it is true, serves her right for dumping Jason Statham. Baldy looked like he needed a chocolate swiss on his face, smug git.

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