Kelly Brook and Billy Zane will have a crazy wedding

kbrook-zane-greek.jpgAccording to Kelly Brook, she and Billy Zane are going to have a traditional Greek wedding sometime in the next year, saying: “We still haven’t set a firm date but the ceremony is almost certainly going to be in Greece now. Billy’s mum is Greek, he lived out there for four years and speaks the language fluently. I’ve never been to a Greek wedding but I’ve seen videos and they look amazing – so lively. We’ll have a really traditional ceremony with both our families around us – hopefully in 2006. We’re thinking of Scotland as a honeymoon destination.”

If I’ve learned anything from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it’s that Greek weddings are chaotic events, with old men spraying Windex on you and Joey Fatone speaking in a high-pitched Mike Tyson voice. I don’t remember where I was going with this, but picturing Joey Fatone getting sprayed in the eyes with Windex is cracking me up. Because I bet he’d be all, “It burns! It burns!” And then he’d go blind and maybe die and we’d never have to hear his name ever again. And that’s pretty damn funny.