Kelly Brook and Billy Zane will have a crazy wedding

December 29th, 2005 // 9 Comments

kbrook-zane-greek.jpgAccording to Kelly Brook, she and Billy Zane are going to have a traditional Greek wedding sometime in the next year, saying: “We still haven’t set a firm date but the ceremony is almost certainly going to be in Greece now. Billy’s mum is Greek, he lived out there for four years and speaks the language fluently. I’ve never been to a Greek wedding but I’ve seen videos and they look amazing – so lively. We’ll have a really traditional ceremony with both our families around us – hopefully in 2006. We’re thinking of Scotland as a honeymoon destination.”

If I’ve learned anything from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it’s that Greek weddings are chaotic events, with old men spraying Windex on you and Joey Fatone speaking in a high-pitched Mike Tyson voice. I don’t remember where I was going with this, but picturing Joey Fatone getting sprayed in the eyes with Windex is cracking me up. Because I bet he’d be all, “It burns! It burns!” And then he’d go blind and maybe die and we’d never have to hear his name ever again. And that’s pretty damn funny.

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Comments (9)

  1. Bob Denver | December 29, 2005 at 12:31 pm

    ^ Billy Zane was the bad guy (read: rich guy) in the Titanic movie.

    Reply
  2. WaitWhat? | December 29, 2005 at 1:38 pm

    Who the F are these people??

    Reply
  3. Sheva | December 29, 2005 at 1:39 pm

    Good for them! Nothing beats a European traditional wedding!

    Reply
  4. sugarplumbaby | December 29, 2005 at 2:05 pm

    Nicole Kidman made an Aussie movie before she came to the US and married Tommy Cruise….”Dead Calm” (watch it – scary as hell). Billy Zane was the evil psychopath in that movie. Good actor. Kelly is big in Britain.

    Reply
  5. Jonboy in SF | December 29, 2005 at 3:02 pm

    Anyone ever notice that Joey Fatone’s last name literally spells FAT ONE?? Kind of apt, don’t you think? Oh, and Billy Zane is still a hottie even bald, but ooohhh I wanted to do him big time after seeing him speared by a harpoon in Dead Calm!

    Reply
  6. Tha-Flash | December 29, 2005 at 4:02 pm

    How the fuck can you not know who Kelly Brook is…

    Reply
  7. suzy | December 29, 2005 at 11:06 pm

    Billy Zane is completely hot. Loved him in Dead Calm and ages and ages ago in Twin Peaks. I do not know who Kelly Brook is but she is one very lucky lady!

    Reply
  8. BadGoat | December 31, 2005 at 12:00 am

    I used to Love Billy Zane until he did ‘Titanic.’ He was horrible in that movie. Yuck!

    Reply
  9. gossipmonger | January 31, 2006 at 10:36 am

    http://www.askmen.com/specials/2006_top_99/kelly-brook-42.html

    2006 should be a memorable year for Kelly, and a bittersweet one for her male fans. She has a major role in the Agatha Christie-penned film Marple: The Moving Finger. It could be her breakout role where she shows everyone that she

    Reply

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