Kelly Bensimon in a bikini

February 26th, 2010 // 164 Comments

It’s been getting way too heavy around here, so thank God someone finally put a bikini on. Unfortunately none of you know who Kelly Bensimon is because she’s on The Real Housewives of New York which exactly five people watch yet somehow you’re dating one of them. On that note, to extract any sexiness out of this post, you’re going to want to focus on the just-barely exposed areola and not the over-tanned wildebeest it’s attached to. Trust me on this one.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Dee

    She looks pretty good for her age. I think she’s in her 40′s.

  2. matt

    Did you notice that her nipple is sticking out?

  3. KT

    Girlfriend needs a refund on those boobies.

  4. Ego

    OMG, I want to stab myself in the eye. Arrrgggg… DAMN YOU FISH!! DAMN YOUuuuuuuuu…

  5. Ego

    Fifth!!

  6. vdls

    She looks awful. Thanks for temporarily making me feel better about my own ugly body, which is less ugly than hers.

  7. bablbia

    dude, there’s a nipple trying to break free there!

  8. Huh?

    Look at her expression!
    I think she’s thinking, “Oh, yeah – I look good!”
    Wow – so delusional!
    I love when people flaunt it when they have it…but someone needs to tell her that her bikini days are over…

  9. Bay

    Okay, time to stop starving yourself, and start working out. It’s not a good sign to have that kind of skin sag, and muscle waste at your age.

  10. matthew

    I’ll take NIPPLE for $100 alex!

  11. KIKI

    She looks ok, but that is one ill fitting bikini. Keep your chin up Fish, I am a fan! I have only watched the Real Housewives of Orange County, and damn if those bitches don’t act like they are still in high school.

  12. My afternoon project was to see if I could get my after lunch nut off to this beast.

    I started by slapping my cock silly while watching a little of San Francisco’s finest gay porn. Once I got my cock at attention I turned off the porn and put the photo of this creature in front of me and went to town on myself. It took me about 30 seconds to start to lose my hard on and about two minutes before I gave up and went back to the gay porn which made me nut in about a minute.

    Just for the record, I am not gay at all, I just like a little gayness when I jerk off. The fact that this nightmare cause me to go limp says a lot but what it doesn’t say is that I am gay so just stop right there with your smart ass comments. It just says that she is past her prime.

    Later,

    Mitch

  13. JR

    From the top up, she looks all right. From the bottom down, she’s decent. Everything in between is the torso of a 300 Spartan.

    **HOORRRRRRFFFF!**

    Okay, I’m done.

  14. mms

    ew! she looks way better in the PlayGirl pics this month

  15. wtf

    I’m pretty sure this woman is an alien.

  16. dane cook

    Hey, Steven Tyler is out of rehab!

  17. Sport

    Who? And, uh – gross.
    Nothing as bad as a chick who THINKS she is hot – yet sadly is NOT. Pass her a cheeseburger!

  18. sharkbite01

    I’d tap that ass

  19. jake411

    I’ve never commented on this site, but seeing how negative the comments are being posted about this beautiful lady, i am forced to say that only the ugly virgins living in their mom’s basements are doing this lol. Kelly is one of the most beautiful 42 year old women out there

  20. Jewbacca

    Trying to get a date Jake411? I’m pretty sure shes probably loose as a goose or concealing a penis

  21. Crabby Old Guy

    She needs to break out one of those all over, complete with leggings style 1890 swimsuits pronto. Cover it…all of it…NOW…before you do serious damage to the semen count in North America.

  22. barfs

    well on the plus side it looks as though she got those HORRENDOUS boobs fixed. they were all kinds of bad plastic surgery before.

    don’t like to bash people online, but she is truly one vapid self obsessed idiot.

  23. Uhhhh….Mitch @ #12? I hate to break it to ya dude, but you’re gay.

  24. anonymoose

    i don’t care how young or old, that just doesn’t look right.

  25. Butt Guy

    Um……… where’d her butt go?

  26. Bud

    “Look at her expression!
    I think she’s thinking, “Oh, yeah – I look good!”
    Wow – so delusional!”

    Do you honestly believe you’ll be 14 forever?

    Never heard of her, but she looks better than most women her age.

  27. Bud

    Hell, she looks better than quite a few women half her age.

  28. jake411

    @jewbacca #20. i’m already married, but thanks for the offer. and you’re either a gay fat ass dude or some fat chick nobody would ever bang :-)

  29. Duck Butter

    Seriously, I hope my wife at her age stays looking that good. I’d LOVE to bone this chick!

  30. juaquin ingles

    Huh. Only seen a xyphoid process on a skeleton before. Didn’t know they could be visible on living people, thanks for the anatomy lesson kels.

  31. Rasputins Liver

    *

    Who?

    *

  32. Her sterum is sticking out farther than her boob! weird ass /hip/flap/sag/stomach going on there! She looks okay in clothes, but being one of the few who has seen that tv show, once she opens her mouth, she is so damn annoying you want to tell her to shut the f up!

  33. Blech

    @ 12: John Mayer, is that you?

  34. Mr. Nice Guy

    She is Very Ugly. Ugly for 42, 52 or 102.

  35. dude at work

    I have never seen her show but she is in the cover of Playboy for the March 2010 issue. I think she is very attractive and sexy. I think Kelly Bensimon is the ultimate cougar. According to the Palyboy shot she used to model in her 20′s. I would love to *uck her.

  36. OMG! Some people should only wear a sleek one piece tank suit and she is one of them. She just highlighted all of her flaws. Delusional people amuse me.

  37. #19 Jake, you would LOVE me. Bow down now.

  38. whatever

    why doesn’t she have a waist? you sure this isn’t a man?

  39. HackSaw

    I’d hit it.

  40. Nothing worse than some used up old bitch who can’t accept getting old fat and gross. Do the world a favor and get a 1 piece, or better yet, stay in side your house, you fug-ugly dog-face cunt.

  41. gigi

    ..so Gilles Bensimon has tapped THAT….? she must be magical

  42. Jake Diamon

    Meh — not that great but I’d still put it in her pooper.

  43. Don’y click on KiKi’s link. Depressing. Always depressing when people try to be whiter via hair bleach and colored contacts. Yet she does have a point here.

  44. Ally

    How is she a wilderbeast? C’mon that’s pretty offensive – shes a normal, pretty fit woman – just because shes not Gisele doesn’t make her a wilderbeast. No wonder women have eating disorders when anything less that a VS model is deemed ‘wilderbeast’

  45. Ripper Owens

    I’d feast on her dirty ass.

  46. Ripper Owens

    … as long as I don’t have to kiss her.

  47. Tire Swing

    She looks disgusting. Cover it up. You know she’s nuts cuz she thinks she looks good. I don’t care how old she is–just cover it up.

  48. Awesome, love it when people stay fit no matter their age. Shows you what yoga and pilates can do, look at the abs, that is all from core strength training
    like Pilates and the long lean muscles in the arms and legs. Beautiful!

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