Good Morning, Penis Button, And Other News

- Jessica Biel is opening a children’s restaurant which means Justin Timberlake is a pedophile. I don’t know how else you’re supposed to read that. [Lainey Gossip]

- Fifty Shades of Grey is going to be way shitter than you expected. [Dlisted]

- Chivettes Bored At Work [theCHIVE]

- Pete Wentz regrets piercing his dick. [Fishwrapper]

- Obama isn’t the Antichrist. He’s just paving the way for him. Well played, Fox News. [The Daily Banter]

- Jonah Hill basically offered to work in The Wolf of Wall Street for free. [tooFab]

- To make up for that whole bridge thing, Chris Christie will end the war on drugs now. [BuzzFeed]

- Kate Bosworth has “scrawny hotness.” Why not? [Popoholic]

- Zahia Dehar is still hot as shit. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Adriana Lima’s in a bikini. [Celebslam]

- Goddamn, Irina Shayk… [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Victoria Beckham is done with the Spice Girls. [Amy Grindhouse]

- Ben Affleck’s penis will distract you from the Batman vs. Superman delay. [FilmDrunk]

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