Because we’re just playing God now, Kelly Osbourne and Joan Rivers were put in the same room together for an episode of E!’s Fashion Police where apparently their unholy coven turned its attention to Christina Aguilera and, I dunno, tried to necromance her. I hear that’s the thing these days. Us Magazine reports:
After Joan Rivers, 78, said Aguilera looked “stuffed into” a Givenchy LBD at an event in Munich, Germany last month (and likened her to “Snooki’s Scandinavian cousin”), Osbourne chimed in: “Maybe she is just becoming the fat bitch she was born to be. I don’t know. She was a cunt to me. And she bought my house!”
Osbourne’s digs at 30-year-old Aguilera’s fluctuating weight didn’t end there. “She called me fat for so many fucking years,” Osbourne continued, “so you know what? Fuck you! You’re fat too.”
While I like to think of this as a refined, civilized site resting above the fray of petty squabbles over outward appearances, Kelly Osbourne made this picture with Coco happen, and a Lannister always pays his debts. Also, from November 2010 to July 2011 I would’ve bet you both of my testicles Christina Aguilera was with child. Now it’s just one because I don’t give up on dreams.
Photo: Splash News
…And thats coming from Kelly osbourne..the epitome of beauty and fitness…
good one
She actually was on the cover of “Shape” Magazine, airbrushed albeit.
oh please, it is all about connections, kelly is ugly as sin and very annoying. I am not a fan of christina’s music but the fact is she has a set of pipes on her, is pretty without the shoveled on make-up, and has a good body. sure she needs to shape up a bit but that is easy for her, kelly would need to have her head chopped off and replace and has no talent. just riding ol ozzy’s coat tails.
….What is it about those things we all know as the human bitch–they can never seem to let anything just gooooo….Artofwar
Yep, good ol’ Kelly, a class act all the way.
CHRISTIN HAD A BABY…WHAT’S HER EXCUSE?
that’s no excuse for being a fat cunt, now is it?
Yea like 3 years ago!!
What a dog. She looks like she’s wearing a trailer trash wig for the ’60.
Ms. Osbourne. A cease and desist on that makeup, your clothing, your general being. How this girl gets paid to critique what other people wear astounds me.
Who else has the right to call the kettle black but the pot?
I agree with you, vito.
I don’t respect Kelly Osborne for anything but her knowledge in the Fat Cunt Department. If ever there was a person that could properly and accurately judge another human as a FAT CUNT, well, it’s Kelly Osborne.
This is what she was born to do.
It’s annoying because she no longer sees herself as “the pot.” When she was sporting a 43 waistline she had nothing to say. Now that she has lost some weight and bought some new clothes, she’s constantly yakking like she’s Tom Ford or something.
Sometimes, when I watch The Soup, The Fashion Police intro comes on before I’m fast enough to turn it off (usually due to being drunk), so I can sadly say that Osbourne is a permanent host of The Fashion Police. Yes, they let Osborne, she of the lumpen fatness and ugly tats, AND Joan Rivers, who looks like she cut off someone else’s face and then strapped it too tightly to her own skull, critique the appearance of other celebrities. It’s like letting Chris Brown do couple’s counseling.
THAT was fucking awesome.
I once had the misfortune to be trapped in front of a TV when she appeared on Dr. Phil. I could lie and say it involved handcuffs, but I was actually waiting for someone to get out of the hospital. Anyway, she was sooo cloyingly sincere about how terrible it is to body snark, how it damaged her self-esteem for just years and years, and how wrongity-wrong-wrong it is.
Dr. Phil, you betrayed me for the very last time. We’re through.
maybe Christina is fat, but Kelly is fuckin ugly!!
maybe Christina/Kelly is fat, but Kelly/Christina is fuckin ugly!!
but…Christina could look pretty good, if she wanted, Kelly’s just….hopeless case…she’d rather keep her mouth shut….
Wow…that’s like the pot calling the kettle “cunt”.
Win
at least Christina’s head is in normal proportion to a human body. Kelly looks like she’s from a Osbourne’s bobble-head collection.
HaHaHa! Whoa! Two fat little Piggies oink, oink, oink……… At-least one has some talent, gig they can fall back on even if they become like Kendra Krinklesack! LOLs
Haha. I’m ashamed to say I actually saw this episode. Whatever. Good for Kelly. I hate to stand up for her, but it seems Christina was always a cunt to her and probably called her fat alot. Fucking karma man. Call someone fat, become fat yourself. What goes around comes around!
Christina on her worst day is > than Kelly on her best!
Tho Christina is a shadow of her former self…she used to be hotter than them all!
a SHADOW?? try 3
At least one has real talent and isn’t famous for being someone’s daughter.
Getting cast in the sequel to “Angel with dirty faces” is not even conclusive with those two. But what’s clear, the movie’ going to be in the same league to Ben-Hur, in regards to number of talents in one movie.
This feud has been ongoing since Kelly and her family have been doing “The Osbournes.” No real news here..
right? Kelly admitted she wiped boogers all over Xtina’s car door handles.
Kelly is so fucking fug and her body is still icky even though she lost a ton of weight. Call Xtina a cunt if you want to, but you are in NO position to be criticizing her looks Kelly!
In the face, Kelly looks like a man dressed in drag as an unattractive housewife from the ’50s. Or a busted Smurfette.
Kelly has always reminded me of Dame Edna for some reason.
jesus any one else’s portfolio taking a shit today? and yeah they’re both kinda fat.
i’d do them both if i could go back in time and buy august puts
Let’s see…
At one time, Christina Aguilera was very hot. Kelly Osbourne has never been hot.
At one point, Christina Aguilera was very talented. Kelly Osbourne has never been talented.
At least Christina Aguilera got fat with money she earned as opposed to gaining “fame” as the child of a drooling houseplant and a famewhore.
Ouch and touche!
Keep fightin’ bitches. Escalate the hate!
Ha Ha, apparently Kelly Osbourne in addition to being completely untalented, forgot that she is fat and ugly.
And Christina Aguilera did not buy your house, she bought your parents house you dumb cunt.
My thought exactly. When did she earn any money for herself, by herself? She gets to live in the lap of luxury but the price is her soul….and the fact that she knows she never made it.
if kelly osbourne and joan cryptkeeper rivers are the fashion police then this must be the eternal hell dimension.
They are both pretty cunty, but if I had to say which one was the bigger cunt, I’d pick that cunt Aguilera because I can’t stand her fucking forced singing voice, and her orange skin, and her terrible implants, and her stupid face, and her bleached hair, and her nipple piercings, and her presence in this world. Well, I guess the cunt race wasn’t even close after all.
lol AGREE!
Purse = bad
Hair over face = good
Talking shit about others with fame & talent far beyond her undetectable gifts = priceless
It would seem Xenu never released John Travolta from the portrayal of his character in the movie “Hairspray.”
lol wow. i wanted to say something but that kinda says it all. thanks for fucking up my day. LOL, i will continue to see John “the queen” Travolta for as long as her hair looks like that.
maybe Christina/Kelly is fat, but Kelly/Christina is fuckin ugly!!
All I know is that I would rather hump my hat than either of these two turds.
the shame of it is, kelly osbourne and aguilera are both so disgusting, it’s a cat fight I wouldn’t even enjoy watching. I’d still watch, I just wouldn’t enjoy it. Not too much anyway.
So you’d watch, but you wouldn’t admit to having been there? Have I got that?
Fair enough.
two cunts in a cat fight , and I hope they both lose
I would pork a fat Christina over a thin Kelly any day. What does Kelly have to say about that?
+1
Actually, I think she’d say -2.
I wouldn’t fuck Kelly Osbourne with OJ Simpson’s dick.
lol, I agree with Kelly. Christina IS a fat cunt. I’d love to see her on the news pronounced dead. DREAMS
They’re both fat ,ugly cunts. One cunt used to be able to sing and the other never had anything going for her except having a famous burnout for a dad. If she was born Kelly Jones we would never have heard about her existence. Thanks Ozzy for spitting out that one.
So remind us why Kelly Osbourne is famous again?! At least Christina is somewhat talented and has release some ok music (some would call it even good!).
Oh and fat C. Aguillera > skinny K.Osbourne
Jowls Osborne is one ugly beast. And that picture is the living embodiment of putting lipstick (and that blond do) on a pig.
WHOOOOOOOAAAAA.
too much botox and filler around the lip !!
at least Aguilera didn’t bite the head off an elephant
I’m ashamed to say it, but I now live in a world where I would rather bang Kelly Osbourne than X-tina. I hope the Mayans were right about 2012.
Kelly Osborne, Joan Rivers, and Christina Aguilera mentioned all in one post. Disgust me. It’s like a whoregasborg of ugly makeup-drenched hasbeen/neverwas evil incarnate slutbags. I feel ill. Thanks fish. You better post a threesome of ultimate hotness soon to make up for this, one for lady lovers and one for man lovers and one for everythign lovers like moi. This trifecta of filthy fugtastic bitches is inexcusable, you should know better. Now go sit in a corner and think of what you’ve done and don’t come back until you have some GALE HAROLD posts, that’s right GALE HAROLD look that shit up, for he will turn you GAY, that’s how magnificent he is.
Kelly (a nobody) Joan (was funny 40 years ago) judging anyone is really funny.
Geez, you guys are brutal. Say what you will, but I’d be pissed too if someone kept publically saying what a fat slob I was. So, it must be sweet revenge to see her nemesis blow up like a balloon. Who knows who these people are privately anyway. You could end up hating them both.
They are both fat bitches.
You know what your girlfriend loves more than her Panasonic Lumix GF 1? The twelve inch jelly dong I bought for her. I stick it in her ass while I bang her tight beaver.
What do think of that Parsons? You spamming douche!
Sam Merlotte?
Covens necromancing? Have you been watching Trueblood?
Kelly Osbourne even at her thinnest, will never be as hot as Aguilera was.
Aguilera only has to loose weight, Kelly cannot get hot even if she is born again, she always is going to look like Ozzy.
I hope you’re including makeup and weave in that weight Christina has to lose.
Kelly Osborne, thank you for stating the truth, I think your picture should replace Mother Mary’s on all those el caminoes because you my friend are a saint
Want me to take care of that HBOner for you?
She is a little plump……would still motorboat the sh%t out of them teats though. Just saying.
I bet Scrubulera cries extra hard when she sings ‘Beautiful’ now.
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
let’s call her too a FILTHY & FAT C*NT!!
One those name calling woes wasn’t wise.
Oh Ozzie, you and your crazy outfits. You look a bit like Kelly in this picture. You crazy.
no more fat…but forever ugly.