Kelly Brook’s ‘Perfect Pair’ is The Crap I Missed

March 23rd, 2012 // 23 Comments
Kelly Brook Perfect Pair
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Evening, folks. Photo Boy’s off today – and probably into next week – dealing with one asshole of a family crisis, so if you want to shoot him a tweet saying you enjoy his pictoral wizardry and/or the few times I actually let him write his own dick jokes, that’d be swell. On that note, instead of your normally scheduled The Crap We Missed, you get this ridiculous video of Kelly Brook‘s breasts (above) that’s apparently something to do with charity? I honestly didn’t make it past the second jiggle. And if you think this means there won’t be a Most Important People tomorrow, shut your filthy trap. I’ve got a goddamn mammoth collection ready that’s basically the word equivalent of Jon Hamm poking holes in your cervix with his huge Jon Hamm wang I have no idea where that sentence just came from.

Uh.. Look, tits!

- The Superficial


  1. JC

    Please let those socks be on eBay. Unwashed, of course.

  2. Shasta

    Kelly Brook is fucking delicious. Katy Perry only wishes she could look this good.

  3. mr natural

    get rid of ‘most important’ bullshit post – it blows hairy CHUNKS and you know it

  4. Wink

    An ad popped-up blocking my view for a second and i screamed, “I’LL BURN ENGLAND TO THE FUCKING GROUND!” really loudly. Not sure where it came from but it scared the shit out of my dog.

    • Jill

      So arson as a natural repsonse to sexual frustration isn’t as weird as it once seemed, or is that you Mel?

  5. skunk

    those are my jizz socks

  6. I love ridiculous videos of chicks with nice breasts; even better if it’s for charity.

  7. Ernest Rumplicker

    Thank you Jesus.

  8. I hope the thanks the universe for her daily rack, because her face is severely jacked.

  9. I definitely support this charity—if only I noticed what it was.

    Oh, and if I lived in England because I think that’s the only way you can.

  10. That’s the same amount of socks I’ve spooged in fapping to her pictures.

  11. lily

    cute commercial. such a lovely feminine figure!

  12. HailSatan

    Not perfect, but I would throw it in her.

  13. Parker

    She certainly has a perfect pair of ass cheeks. I’d like to part those perfect asscheeks with my weiner so I can slip it into her hot little butt hole.

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