Kelly Brook’s Single Again
Kelly Brook and David McIntosh reportedly broke up and surprisingly the reason wasn’t, “His dick was a boner all the time,” which would make sense, but according to the Daily Mail, it’s because he cheated on her giant, awesome breasts which doesn’t make sense. Maybe I’m putting too much emphasis on them, but if they told me to wage jihad, I’d start taking pilot lessons. That’s just me and my ability to commit if Kelly happens to be reading this. And skipping that jihad part. They make me put that in there.