The Crap We Missed – Friday 10.4.13

October 4th, 2013 // 433 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which caps a week of several notable events like Miley Cyrus baring her nipple, then Hulk Hogan parodying her in a thong and tomorrow, my birthday. So once again, universe, you got me. “Enjoying a nice life celebration, are you? STARE INTO THE VOID!!” While my tears put out these candles (thanks for the cake Fish, you really shouldn’t have), enjoy captioning the hell out of Katherine Heigl, who’s now just a walking eyeroll, Chloe Moretz with Julianne Moore and her eight buttcheeks, Nelly just now realizing this woman thinks he’s Flo Rida, and finally, my gift to myself, Michael Fassbender.

Wait, is that just a wrinkle? Still doing it for me,

- Photo Boy

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Nelly Unenthused Posing With Fat Lady GMA
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Nelly’s high as a kite!

  2. Coco Butt Bikini Instagram
    Qmak
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s something enormous, wild and full of creatures in the picture. Then there’s the ocean too.

  3. Fiona Apple Skinny Arms
    Commented on this photo:

    Performing a beheading?

  4. Katherine Heigl Cleavage Tiny Dog
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    In every picture of an actress who wonders why she is less famous than, say, Sandra Bullock despite being obviously more talented, there’s a chihuahua saying it all with his tongue.

  5. Elizabeth Hurley Cleavage Breast Cancer Research Foundation Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Elizabeth demonstrating how she raises funds for cancer research.

  6. Ben Kingley Hailee Steinfeld Harrison Ford Enders Game Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    Listen Greedo, tell Jabba I’ve got the money.

  7. Goldie Hawn Leg Stretch Balcony Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Invisible Man in MILF shocker!

  8. Miley Cyrus Cleavage No Shirt Under Blazer Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone photoshopped some clothes onto her.

  9. Goldie Hawn Leg Stretch Balcony Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    those are some nice….uhhhh…sneakers.

  10. Coco Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh great, now the ocean has herpes.

  11. Bradley Cooper Huge Brown Stain On Shirt Cameron Crowe Movie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    release the scat joke Krakken!

  12. Coco Butt Bikini Instagram
    Dirty Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    The poor ocean is about to get polluted with malt liquor and brother jizz.

  13. Psy Pink Jacket Headphones Commercial Set
    Commented on this photo:

    sorry in advance, but yes, they all do look alike.

  14. Ben Kingley Hailee Steinfeld Harrison Ford Enders Game Photocall
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    “I swear to GOD if you tell ONE more person to ‘get off your plane,’ Ford…ONE MORE.”

  15. Helena Bonham Carter Crazy Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    svelte.

  16. Nelly Unenthused Posing With Fat Lady GMA
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m just kiddin’ like Jason. I’m just kiddin’ like Jason! I’M JUST KIDDIN’ LIKE JASON! AHHHHHHHH!!!!”

  17. Colin Farrell Long Hair Headband Checking Out Fat Lady
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah, and you all thought Russel Brand was into some weird shit!

  18. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Calendar
    Commented on this photo:

    Dayum… That is all.

  19. Elvira Cleavage Knotts Scary Farm Haunt Event
    Commented on this photo:

    I had a thing for her when I was 10. She is now 62 years old.

  20. Elizabeth Hurley Cleavage Breast Cancer Research Foundation Event
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    ::looks at Hurley::

    ::looks at Fassbender::

    ::looks at Hurley again::

    ::looks back at Fassbender::

    “A little wider, I think.”

  21. Goldie Hawn Leg Stretch Balcony Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit it.

  22. Coco Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Miles and miles of white sand beaches and not a single black guy to pursue her…
    She must truly be in hell…

  23. Michael Fassbender Dickprint In Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…
    (Sobs in the corner)

    • Cock Dr

      Shhesh…it’s only a fold in his pants.

    • cc

      Actually, it is just a crease in his pants.

      Thing is, there would come a point where size would be awkward. Seriously. I remember one time back when I played raquet sports I was getting changed about 3 or 4 lockers away from this guy. (And contrary to popular belief girls, guys aren’t always slyly looking around checking to see if someone is bigger. It’s kind of like dogs…even if you don’t give a shit about dogs, you’d still notice a giant Great Dane.) In any case out of the corner of my eye I spotted this guy and his giant….appendage. It was so out of proportion, I thought it was some juvenile practical joke. It wasn’t. It was so big it would be cumbersome…I don’t know he could ever wear a bathing suit or shorts. I don’t even know how he could find comfortable pants. Anyway, the point is, at some point when the novelty wears off, you’ve got to live with the damn thing. And find a woman (not in the porn industry) that doesn’t run away screaming.

  24. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    what Kim K thinks she looks like.

  25. Ben Kingley Hailee Steinfeld Harrison Ford Enders Game Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    I love it when pedophiles fight… Everyone wins… Except them…

  26. Chloe Grace Moretz Julianne Moore Saggy Butt Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m with the lady in the background… This seems interesting..

  27. Elizabeth Hurley Cleavage Breast Cancer Research Foundation Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she on the hunt for another billionaire?

  28. Bradley Cooper Huge Brown Stain On Shirt Cameron Crowe Movie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I think the working title for the movie is “Shit Shirt: The Story of the Cleveland Steamer”

  29. Katherine Heigl Cleavage Tiny Dog
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Also, I still think she should have run against Mitch McConnell.

  30. Pope Francis Greeting Crowd Of Children
    Commented on this photo:

    And if you come over here, we have the private boy touching tent, no photographers please!

  31. Psy Pink Jacket Headphones Commercial Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Jong Un in disguise…

  32. Jay-Z Huge Medallion
    Commented on this photo:

    He should do an album titled “Lips and Nostrils”

  33. Ryan Phillippe Hooray Henrys
    Commented on this photo:

    Skeet Ulrich ain’t doing so good…

  34. Miley Cyrus Cleavage No Shirt Under Blazer Instagram
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    resistance is futile.
    you will be assimilated.

  35. Michael Fassbender Dickprint In Pants
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    Photog: “Hey Michael! You’re Fass-bending.” *snicker snicker*
    MF: “Every day with this damn joke. Ugh! Curse you, comically large penis!” *looks around for women staring*

  36. Psy Pink Jacket Headphones Commercial Set
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    “north korea and south korea stop fighting.
    you’re both basically chinese.”

  37. Helena Bonham Carter Crazy Clothes
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    And he cheats on her. I cannot imagine why.

    • Lilly

      Yea, see, that’s tricky right there. In her defense, if i was married to that Gargamel looking scare crow, i would punch my vagina every day. She took a more noble route and chose to dress like a Braveheart hobo instead. Ya gotta applaud that, man.

  38. Christina Milian Miinidress Childs Face In Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    We get it, you have a huge vagina.

  39. Jay-Z Huge Medallion
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Not a handsome man.

  40. Katherine Heigl Cleavage Tiny Dog
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a Down’s-a-dor. You’ve probably never heard of it.

  41. Brooke Shields Crazy Face Hudson River Park Gala
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Now THERE is a handsome man.

  42. Pope Francis Greeting Crowd Of Children
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Love this guy. Way to shake things up brother.

  43. Mario Lopez Daniel Radcliffe Dane DeHaan Extra
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    you got the money?
    hey, whoa! wait a minute!
    first lets see the stuff.

  44. Katherine Heigl Cleavage Tiny Dog
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I have never met a woman who owned one of these little inbred dogs who wasn’t also completely intolerable as a human being. SCIENCE FACT.

    • I admit, I have a Chihuahua. My friends bred theirs and the puppies were really cute, and being in an apartment, I can’t have the breeds I *really* want (read : Pyrenees). So I took one.

      I love her, but NEVER AGAIN. Needy. Dogs are so fucking needy. People can make all the jokes they want, but I’ll go full crazy cat lady before I subject myself to dog ownership ever again.

      • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

        Ahh, someone wakes up to the joys of a cat. Better late then never. Just as they can take or leave you & not care, so you can to them, and everyone is still happy.

  45. Helena Bonham Carter Crazy Clothes
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I keep seeing ads for the Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton flick with her and Dominic West in it. I’m sure Lindsay’s was way better, though.

  46. Pope Francis Greeting Crowd Of Children
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    prepare yourself for a pride obliterating bitch slap!

  47. Bradley Cooper Huge Brown Stain On Shirt Cameron Crowe Movie Set
    pfffff
    Commented on this photo:

    not seen in this pic: Tom Cruise performing an enema.

  48. Ben Kingley Hailee Steinfeld Harrison Ford Enders Game Photocall
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Last time, Ford. I’M behind her like this and YOU’RE standing over her chest.”

  49. Naya Rivera Cleavage Latina Magazine Hollywood Hot List Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Have no idea… but YES.

  50. Chloe Grace Moretz Julianne Moore Saggy Butt Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s so sad to see when people’s lungs drop into their butts.

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