McG Is Seriously Trying To Make A He-Man Movie Starring Kellan Lutz

Now that we’ve covered racism and domestic violence, let’s move on to a more serious topic: childhood ruination. Which is usually an argument I’m weary of after the tiny dick spinning surrounding Ghostbusters, but when I read things like McG wants to direct a He-Man movie starring Kellan Lutz, I don’t know where else you go with that, but picturing a time machine traveling back to when you were five years old and pissing in your face right before your mom takes away your He-Man action figures anyway because Skeletor’s staff has a ram skull on it and ram skulls equal Satan. My life is fun. IGN reports:

IGN: Kellan Lutz recently went on social media and kind of implied, maybe straight-up said he might be up for a role in Masters. Is he your He-Man? Can you say anything?
McG: We haven’t cast the role yet, but I like Kellan very much. Obviously, we need a talented entertainer, but we also need a certain physicality, which he embodies. He’ll be considered very, very closely. We haven’t gotten to the casting process yet. Kellan’s a good guy, and we had a great meeting, and he’s passionate about He-Man, he’s passionate about the Adam story. He really knows a lot about it. I was charmed by his focus and intensity. He’ll be considered very, very carefully.

McG goes on to say that his He-Man movie will be like Guardians of the Galaxy banged Game of Thrones, but better. His He-Man movie starring Kellan Lutz. The Kellan Lutz. Did I mention that part?

We’re just really focused on getting it right. I want it to be full-bodied entertainment that respects the fan base, and is more emotional than you might imagine, inventive and original. Obviously, we’re all cognizant of what’s going on with Game of Thrones. It’s incredible. We’re cognizant of what’s going on in Guardians of the Galaxy. James Gunn’s doing a great job. We’re going to try to answer the call and take it higher. How’s that sound?

Like crazy talk. It sounds like goddamn crazy talk. Who the fuck says, “I’m going to make the best movie ever, but by the way, it’ll star Kellan Lutz?” Nobody. Nobody says that. That’s like saying, “Here’s this thing I’m making that I hope doesn’t catch on fire, but by the way, I’m stuffing it full of fire. It’ll be fine.”

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