Keira Knightley’s dress held in place by magic

December 7th, 2007 // 149 Comments

Keira Knightley attended the premiere of her new movie Atonement last night in L.A. What manner of dark wizardry is keeping the top of her dress on? It’s like it’s super-glued to her breasts, if that’s what we’re calling them. I don’t know if they meet the requirements to be classified as such. According to the dictionary I wrote: “The female breast must not protrude into the chest but rather out. It must also present itself post haste for the predetermined price of one American dollar.” Sadly, the people at Webster didn’t see fit to adopt my definition. Philistines!

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

  1. Jack

    Eat, Papa, eat

  2. holla@meh

    FIRST?? lol

  3. TS

    Jesuschristalmighty, that’s actually Jimbo (it’s misspelled). Never thought I’d see the day.

  4. boppa

    there is a see through tanktop-ish thing underneath.

  5. sam

    you can totally see the strings around her neck and arms.

  6. holla@meh

    there’s no magic here LOL the top is made clearly made of nylon. the dress itself is not cute at all. poor fashion choice on her part. “flashy or trashy?” i’d have to go with “trashy”

  7. whoneedsenemies

    She might just beat Bjork in the “Ugliest Dress in the Universe” Contest….

  8. Iota

    What’s the big deal? Everybody knows you can dress mannequins any way you want.

  9. lux

    She looks beautiful. That is why thin and flat will always be in fashion. You can wear that kind of dress without looking like a total whore.

  10. veggi

    TS- it’s a Jimbo troll..

    her skeleton is really pretty. Bet she looked better alive..

  11. q

    Beautiful girl, but she does not dress to flatter her figure

  12. mike

    It’s nice to sit by a crackling fire in the winter. Or to throw Keira down on the rug and listen to her crackling while you bone her.

  13. Sugar Tits

    My Peaches N Cream Barbie had the same dress! Only… she filled it better.

  14. She Probably Claims She's A Size 12

    A true size 2.

  15. mkell

    Meh. It’s just a very light sheer fabric. You can see the edges and seams along her neckline and running up her ribs.

  16. lunis

    If you melted her down, she’d be about the volume of one of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s asscheek/saddlethigh spread combos. Maybe that’s what the size 2 reference was.

  17. hendero

    If I had no tits I’m not sure that’s the dress I’d choose to wear.

    Wait, I’m a guy so I don’t have tits. I can’t tell if I’m happy or sad

  18. josmo

    Superficial guy . . . You’re Friggen’ hilarious.

  19. Hunter

    I would love to see all you bashers come face to face with some of these stars you comment on. Its The Superficial’s job…. But you all have no excuse, especially since you would be kissing ass if you even had the balls to interact with one if these people we love reading about on a daily basis…

  20. mr right

    She’s perfect for one of those drunken, throw-her-around-the-room fucks.

  21. Cunter

    #20 – kissing ass, like you did in your comment? You know, too much swallowing can be a bad thing.

  22. Harry

    Umm… the straps holding up the dress is pretty obvious. This site is really reaching for something to write about. And, oh yeah: She’s a total babe.

  23. Ed

    @21 – Agreed. Ahhh the wonders of alcohol…

  24. want meds

    forget the hideous dress–wtf is up with her HAIR?

  25. #20 Oh yeah???? I saw Ed Begley Jr. at Universal studios, and I totally yelled, “Dude, your shorts are way to big for your head!!!”

    So there..

  26. Funshine

    It’s sad that she doesn’t even have enough energy to smile in any of her pictures… But maybe that’s a good thing because we’d see her stupid ugly underbite.

  27. Vince Lombardi

    As an aspiring dermatologist, I would like to examine your moles, my dear!

  28. veggi

    AND I saw Michael Jackson at Disney Land and, uh, I totally didn’t say anything, cause he scares the shit outta me!!

    So there..

  29. PunkA

    Whoever did her hair needs to be shot. It is absoltely horrible and has NEVER been a good look. Her little frame needs her to have great hair, not ugly hair, to take attention from her lack of curves. This makes her look like a little boy. Just awful.

    And I really like her. Just not in that.

  30. Antonio Howusay

    “total” babe? Not without a body. Pretty face, completely featureless stick-body. At a minimum, she needs that spic’s photoshopped butt, plus maybe Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs (which should be taken away on principle after she turned into such a disgusting fat cow).

  31. rienne

    There is a mesh top. You can clearly see the side stitching.

  32. RichPort

    So generous of you to call those “breasts”…

  33. iknowitall

    She’s not smiling because wearing this dress doubled her weight…time for pukey pukey.

  34. BustyRaquel


    I would KILL for boobs that small!

    She’s lovely!

  35. TS where you been?

  36. veggi

    35- that’s exactly what you have to do to get ‘breasts’ like that…..

  37. I actually like the dress and would wear it if it were black..
    And much shorter.
    And more see through.

  38. gaydarisON

    @20 I noticed you used “come face”, “kissing ass” and “balls” in the same post…it’s time to exit the closet and own up to your sexuality my friend.

  39. Hunter

    whatever, haters! I’m beautiful and know it! You all are probably too stupid to read this. LOL!!! I just keep it real. You all would be kissing my ass!

  40. Angela

    Eek. Girl needs to hit the gym..she has no definition at all.

  41. RENEE...

    Oh yeah, its miss “I’m not anorexic”….riiiiight. And she thinks that she’s fatter than most hollywood actresses. Good god Keira! Wake up and smell the, ah, food! Eat something gosh dammit!!!!

  42. puffs plus

    i like girls in all shapes and sizes.. well except fat girls
    i like her face, but i hate her hair.

  43. pah-leez



  44. @35 Why do you want boobs that small?

  45. AuntieBee

    I agree, whole heartedly. I would do anything for boobies that small. Mine are such a burden…imagine a life without pokey, itchy bras. I envy Keira… *sigh*

  46. veggi

    42- exactly. She’s so pretty, if you added pasta and bread..

  47. Ted from LA

    Actually, I know for a fact that is the BACK of the dress. Her head is just turned 180 degrees. She can spin her head all the way around like that girl from The Exorcist. Not many people outside of Hollywood know this. In fact, she was the second choice to play that role in The Exorcist. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  48. Sean

    I’d give my left spleen to taste one of Keira’s cute little boobages.

  49. What the fuck is that? It looks like something I made in art class. When I was 5.

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