Keira Knightley replaces Kate Moss

April 27th, 2006 // 119 Comments

keira-chanel.jpgChanel announced yesterday that they’ve picked Keira Knightley to be the new face of their Coco Mademoiselle fragrance. Keira will start appearing in ads next year, and is taking over for Kate Moss whose contract expired last October and has been starring in their ads since 2002. Keira said in a statement:

“[I'm] really proud to have been asked to work with such an iconic house as Chanel, and thrilled to follow the extraordinary women who have been associated with it before.”

I’m hoping Keira follows in Kate Moss’ footsteps and turns to a life of cocaine addiciton. I’ve always been curious as to what cocaine can do to a girl who looks like she already uses cocaine. Maybe she’ll get so skinny her breasts will actually invert. Then she can use her chest like a little bowl and store stuff in there. Like fruit or something.



  1. pinky_nip


  2. pinky_nip

    Sweet. I love coming first. I’ll go back and read the article and you can all pick on me.

  3. BigJim

    Replacing one bone rack with another, how original. And yes, pinky, you were first, damn you, but it doesn’t count if you don’t say something witty too.

  4. pinky_nip

    I have so little to get excited about whilst at work. After all, I don’t work for the “iconic house of chanel”. F you Keira.

  5. Fisher55

    I’d hit it, and I don’t even like women

  6. BigJim

    I just wanted to get this thread going by saying:

    sherry-co is a ho.


    scientology rapes dead orangutans.

    Kirstey Alley is still a big fat fatty scientologist.

    So is sherri-cumbucket.


    I miss Edna.

  7. jugsgirl


    you have to mention meganharris!

  8. radio3play

    barf barf barf

  9. shankyouverymuch

    oh yeah… finally the coveted first post

  10. shankyouverymuch

    This sucks

  11. andrewthezeppo

    You think that’s a good endorsement? You should see the deal they offered Tom Cruise at the iconic house of COCK

  12. gogoboots

    I read somewhere that she thinks she’s “fatter” then other celebs, somehow in her lollipop-sized head she believes this so much, that Chanel signed her on as their Coco fragrance model. I do think she’s a bit delusional, but she is better than Lindsay Lohan in that she’s a hundred times more classier. Besides she posed nude on Vogue with Scarlett, that’s like SO much more classier and worthy of an bullshit fashion endorsement.

  13. Sodomy_is_for_Girls

    Just imagine her and Kate Moss getting into a huge argument over who gets to replace who devolving into a coke-fueled orgiastic “bitch brawl”, with elbows, knees, scapulae and ribs slicing up everything around them. That would be awesome, especially the make up sex afterwards.
    Then again, I climbed on a pile of coat hangers once, and it kind of hurt…

  14. brewdick

    she has the body of a 10 yr old boy and her acting makes me want to shove serrated knives in my ears but she’s better than Moss.

  15. shankyouverymuch


    here, here… cheers and salutations for pink_nip… you are right on the money! What a little crap stain she is… besides, her face is middle of the road fugly and her body, nothing but sticks!!!

  16. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I think her, Jessica Simpson, The Olson Twins, and Paris Hilton are like interchangable Bratz dolls with big sunglasses. I would like to line them all up and watch them scream while a big mechanical penis sprays mayonaise on their faces and high fashion clothing. Then I would like to put them on a big sandwich and feed them to Edna – just for the sake of keeping with the “theme” we have going here…

  17. Jacq

    Ugly replaces ugly, that makes sense.

    As far as Enda goes, I saw let her and if she comes back it was meant to be if she never does – her and Papa must be on their honeymoon.

  18. mmmBitch

    God, what the hell is so special about Kiera Knightley? Yawn, next.

  19. BigJim


    They have more important things to fight about, like:

    -who can survive on the fewest blades of grass they call a diet
    -who is more see-through
    -who wears the heavier shoes so they don’t blow away in the first gust of wind
    -who would make a better assassin by being able to render themselves invisible by turning sideways
    -who can projectile their self-induced voms the furthest
    -who can lose even more calories via nose blood loss from snorting way too much coke.

  20. Fisher55

    gogoboots, twas vanity fair

  21. shankyouverymuch


    What are you talking about, Kate Moss is way better, much more unusual and way cooler to look at overall.

  22. mmmBitch

    And she’s like, 20 and she’s getting COLLAGEN INJECTIONS!!!

  23. Pixiestixanthrax

    She does look a bit Jessica Simpson-ish in those pics, her lips are getting a bit ducky

  24. pinky_nip

    Collagen injections are the last thing this bitch needs. Some tits should be at the top of her list. Oh yeah, and acting lessions.

  25. spatz

    #16. just classic. classic.

  26. boredmilf

    did she cut her hair?

  27. Jacq

    #23 – I guess at least she doesn’t look as water-on-the-brain as that pic of Jessica in the Ashlee thread. And for the record, Jessica thinks the duck says meow.

  28. Pixiestixanthrax

    Dear Jim,
    Please stifle, and return to your proper position under my desk. Thanks,

  29. katie_anne

    … Sure, she should never have been nominated for an oscar, but I think she’s gorgeous (most of the time).

    Eh, but I concede–even with my girl crush on her, I still can’t appreciate her fashion sense sometimes…

  30. Pixiestixanthrax

    Everyone knows a duck says bawk bawk, even the kind from the Sea.

  31. Italian Stallion

    Ok, so who gets to replace Pete Doherty as a failing crackhead musician, Whitney Houston?

    Oh, thats right, nevermind……..

  32. mamacita


    How appropriate that you said Bratz dolls. I don’t care if those dolls are made of plastic and completely inanimate, they are fucking whorebags. They wear thongs!!!!! Can you believe that?? They’re marketed for little girls and they wear thongs!!!! While they’re at it, why don’t they just sell them with tiny condoms in their pockets and mini pregnancy tests!

  33. mamacita


    Lindsay Lohan? Although calling her a “musician” is using the word verrrrry loosely. But, she IS a crackhead and she DOES fail at life. 2 out of 3?

  34. pinky_nip

    Have you guys ever seen the Bratz cartoons? Complete and utter whores. Edna must be off trying to REPORT the Bratz bitches.

  35. BigJim

    I would support Edna in reporting those Bratz whores. My four-year-old daughter wants them for her birthday.

    Me: “Jesus, [daughter], can’t I just get you more of that stupid Polly Pocket crap that leaves a million fucking pieces all over my house for me to step on?”

    Daughter: “No, Daddy, I want Bratz.”

    Me: “But [daughter], they’re just a bunch of whores?”

    Daughter: “What’s a whore?”

    Me: “Go ask your mother.”

  36. mamacita


    Oh God, I feel your pain. My daughter is 8 and she wants those little bitches so bad. We have banned them from our house, but she inevitably gets one as a birthday/Christmas present from someone and we can’t just take it away from her. I usually just rip their panties off. It’s easier to explain that they got lost than trying to explain why the doll is wearing panties that show off its slutty ass.

  37. zartan0

    I’d bang her with Tom Cruise’s cock.

  38. Dr.Rokter


    They’re not inanimate. When I lived in New Orleans, there was an entire family of them living in a building across from me. They spent most evenings turning tricks. Tiny, tiny tricks.

    One of them even threatened to “slice my cracker ass” once when I parked my car in front of their driveway.

    Then again, I did an awful lot of drugs in New Orleans and tended to be a little paranoid about my neighbors.

  39. brewdick

    #21 Moss just isn’t Chanel to me, she’s too druggy strung out, more suited to McQueen or Galliano

  40. Trotter


    I recommend giving your daughters each a Sean Penn doll and a Bobby Brown doll. They can play “married” and “domestic violence” and “court-ordered drug rehab” along with “Bratz is Ho!”… Think of the hours of fun they’ll have!

  41. Captain Awesome

    Slow news day today eh?

  42. pinky_nip

    Damn. Thongs on dolls, I remember growing up with Barbies and they never had underwear. My grandmother would freaking crotchet me underwear for them. What a great feeling, wearing an afghan as underwear! Yuck!

    I don’t have kids, but is their a “pimpz” line so the sluts have some representation? Hopefully they’re hung, unlike Ken. He had a nice smooth hump. Freaked me out.

  43. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I think everyone should buy their baby girls some thong diapers and nerf titties so they can know what the real world is gonna be like, kinda like how people give toy guns to little boys. I am the authority on this because I have no children.
    I sleep peacefully every night after I get drunk and have hours of sex. And I only wipe my own ass, unless Trotter comes over and I give him an Edna.

  44. PostAcidYouth

    *shrugs* I’d munch her rug.

  45. So what Channel is telling us is that they only hire Anorexics to rep them.

    They should save some money, just dig up Karen Carpenter.

  46. boredmilf

    Sometimes I give myself an Edna before I get DP… Ednas get you good and clean before you get all nasty and gang-banged

  47. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Brave New Idea: tits_on_snack should change his/her name to thongs_on_dolls.

  48. shankyouverymuch

    Ah yes, maybe your right…

  49. BigJim

    I’m not sure I understand the whole attraction of the DP. I, personally, would not want my cock that close to another man’s cock.

    Cuz that’s just gay.

  50. shankyouverymuch


    Ah yes, maybe your right…

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