Set aside the fact that I’m a dynamo in the sack, and, okay, the public park. And any dressing room in an average U.S. retail store. Alright, bottom line, I’m the Messiah of Doing It. Regardless of that obvious and verifiable fact, I’m absolutely certain Keira Knightley would crumble into a fine powder after I gave her my sermon and a mount. I wish more women would follow her example. Hey, thanks for the sex, and oh, awesome, you’re a pile of dust. Where’s my vacuum?
Photos: Splash
first | September 4, 2007 at 5:44 pm
first
sportsdvl | September 4, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Keira is still looking great!
ScreenRant.com | September 4, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Sports, you got that right.
Vic
wedgeone | September 4, 2007 at 5:49 pm
You’re missing the point – she’s perfect for every guy’s (and girl’s) deeply hidden rape fantasy. I absolutely LOVE that she looks like each thrust would hurt intensely. Goddamn, I haven’t been this hard in weeks!
lambman | September 4, 2007 at 5:50 pm
worst post ever
wooohah.com | September 4, 2007 at 5:50 pm
She looks like a real-life version of a Pez dispenser. If she were African-American, Angelina Jolie would want to adopt her as one of those homeless, hungry kids.
http://www.wooohah.com
Where celebrity goes hip-hop.
lambman | September 4, 2007 at 5:51 pm
her jaw and underbite are pretty annoying
lils | September 4, 2007 at 5:51 pm
That corpse escaped the morgue with the sheet still on, poor thing.
combustion8 | September 4, 2007 at 5:52 pm
The perfect woman… fatties take a good look, this is what your man fantasizes about while tapping your huge ass.
ugh.. | September 4, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Okay….Keira is notedly gorgeous…..however….she looks as if she’s been caged and starved of food and water for several months. I mean….eat something! She’d be stunning if she gained a few pounds…she looks anorexic.
imran karim | September 4, 2007 at 5:58 pm
not funny.
ugh.. | September 4, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Oh and #9…..men are NOT fantasizing about sunken in cheeks, flat chests, and a bony ass.
wedgeone | September 4, 2007 at 6:02 pm
#4 – What are you talking about Mr. Troll? Your drivel made absolutely no sense about anything. Did my name turn up when you gave your “Who do I troll and annoy this week” wheel a spin? My appearances have been few and far between the last few weeks, yet you still feel the need to ride my rocket? STFU errorist!
P.S. Yes, errorist is correct. Look it up.
#8 – Funny, yet eerily accurate. Unlike what Mr. Fish chose to write for commentary on this one. Oooof!
If only she could find some tits. At this point, “A” cups would be acceptable.
kimberly | September 4, 2007 at 6:02 pm
She’s got a gorgeous face for sure, but she really could stand to pack on a pound or two. I’ll be glad to take her through the Taco Bell drive-thru with me!
Vince Lombardi | September 4, 2007 at 6:09 pm
In #5, there’s a woman standing behind and just right of Keira – Keira is the size of one of her calves.
drewski | September 4, 2007 at 6:09 pm
It’s the new look, “Auschwitz Chic”. No doubt an improvement from the “heroin chic” of days past. What’s up with the draped cheesecloth for a dress? She must be in france….
drewski | September 4, 2007 at 6:14 pm
It’s the new look, “Auschwitz Chic”. No doubt an improvement from the “heroin chic” of days past. What’s up with the draped cheesecloth for a dress? She must be in france….
Leen | September 4, 2007 at 6:16 pm
If I was Keira Knightley, I would get some really good fat padding and latex face pieces and fuck with the press by going out one day as 15 lbs heavier, then the next day 30 lbs heavier, then the next day totally normal again. Basically just keep them guessing all the time. That would be hilarious!
Beep Beep !! | September 4, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Dumb white girl she is her own enemy!!!
I blame rap music !!!
Fashion Sheriff Cowgirl | September 4, 2007 at 6:22 pm
She is the embodiement of the Statue of Liberty: “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
Alex H. | September 4, 2007 at 6:23 pm
She is unquestionably thin, but there are people who are thin. It’s not as if–like other celebs that show up here from time to time–she has suddenly and drastically lost a lot of weight. She’s thin.
I agree, she looked hotter in Bend It, when she had both a little more baby fat and a bit more muscle, but–look at her arms, her hands, her torso–”thin” is *not* the same as “anorexic.”
Jimbo | September 4, 2007 at 6:27 pm
Is she married to Casper the ghost?
Fashion Sheriff Cowgirl | September 4, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Les Misérables?
AdolphHiltler | September 4, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Keira looks like a corpse with makeup. She has very good bone structure. I just didn’t want to see the bones making up that structure. If I let her suck my dick and I came in her mouth and she swallowed that would be more food for her in one day than she has eaten in the last week.
jeanna | September 4, 2007 at 6:35 pm
she needs to stop denying she is anorexic.
SHE CLEARLY.. shows it
Jimbo | September 4, 2007 at 6:38 pm
@23 She is pretty miserable isn’t she?
Kitty KAt | September 4, 2007 at 6:38 pm
ew she has the body a 9 year old boy. poor thing
honeycomb's_big_yeah_yeah_yeah! | September 4, 2007 at 6:38 pm
She’s doing the “Blue Steel” and wearing a shroud. That’s awesome!
Fashion Sheriff Cowgirl | September 4, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Hey Jimbo. She does look miserable—her clothes don’t fit! I actually haven’t seen that play, but I do remember the iconic waif that represents the character?
Jimbo | September 4, 2007 at 6:47 pm
I knew what you were reffering to.
28inch | September 4, 2007 at 6:49 pm
She has a nicely sculpted body. She’s one of the few celebrities I actually believe who claims to be ‘naturally thin’. Without a doubt she probably exercises a lot and follows a strict diet as well, as she’s very toned, but if she were anorexic she wouldn’t be sporting those beautiful washboard abs we’ve seen in the past.
The dress washes her out a bit as well. Something fitted, in a more flattering shade like a deep green would have had all the resident nerds making crude comments involving their semen and her face/ass/tits.
Italian Stallion | September 4, 2007 at 6:57 pm
I want to cook her a steak with a baked potato and some sour cream………..
Cowgirl | September 4, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Italian Stallion–She probably wouldn’t eat your meat, but she can have the potatoe and I’ll take the T-bone!
Riotboy | September 4, 2007 at 7:00 pm
After The Jacket she got too thin for me.
/too thin is the gross
//like making out with a dude
///must grab some ta-tas and bootay
Prez Cowgirl AKA Vice President | September 4, 2007 at 7:00 pm
I think I mispelled potato on purpose?
Keira Fan | September 4, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Gorgeousness!
Jeli | September 4, 2007 at 7:08 pm
She might be naturally-thin but EEEEEEEEEWWWWWW. Cover up your rib at least!
Krystina | September 4, 2007 at 7:24 pm
She’s got an exquisite face, but someone pass the girl a burger.
Quick.
That is just not attractive whatsoever. Fat people make me want to vomit up my insides, but so do walking skeletons.
Frick! | September 4, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Wow, she denies the anorexic thing again and again; and then shows up looking like this? #8 put it perfectly…”That corpse escaped the morgue with the sheet still on, poor thing.” Yeech…never did think she was all that pretty either.
Frank | September 4, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Someone throw her a Big Mac please!
Claudette | September 4, 2007 at 7:44 pm
SOME PEOPLE ARE NATURALLY THIN! Just because you weren’t blessed with good genes doesn’t mean you should hate on other people!
Cowgirl | September 4, 2007 at 7:52 pm
41–She is about as naturally thin as her hair is naturally that color. She is working pretty hard at being UNATURALLY thin.
chistiine | September 4, 2007 at 7:59 pm
there’s a difference between being naturally thin and anorexic. when someone is natually thin..their bones don’t stick out everywhere like hers…
Editor and Chief cowgirl | September 4, 2007 at 8:01 pm
Oh yeah 42? Did you mean UN-Naturally? That’s right you can’t spell and type fast at the same time! Fastest guns in the West my ass!
T | September 4, 2007 at 8:11 pm
that dress is heinous
Binky | September 4, 2007 at 8:13 pm
Keira, dear.
Less-curry. More – Fish n’ Chips.
( And ahh… ‘i’ before ‘e’ except after ‘c’ )
stenchblossom | September 4, 2007 at 8:34 pm
skeletor!!!
stenchblossom | September 4, 2007 at 8:47 pm
however,
the second picture is a phabulous fotograph!
its brilliant! (not of kiera knightly in particular but the photograph itself is very good. it should be used in an anti-fame campaign thingy. kinda like andy warholes marylin monroe piece
(kiera knightlys face looks miserable, standin on the red carpet, looking like shes physically sick)ya know the way young hollywood are all fucked up. and famous people are getting younger and younger!
amanda bynes is the next to go mad a la lindsay and britney. then that zoey 101 one, shitney spears sister, then that hannah montana one etc etc you know what i mean anyway! i would never ever want to be a “celebrity”!ughghg
just to say fair play to the photographer!
drewski | September 4, 2007 at 9:04 pm
So lemme get this straight. To many of you Hayden Panettiere is fat, pudgy and ugly. But to the same many, Keira is hot, beautiful and gorgeous. All I can say is all you necrophiliacs that troll this site to get a boner, you’d better stay away from my dead nanna……
Do_FreeBird | September 4, 2007 at 9:15 pm
That is one hell of an embalming job that the mortician did. In some of those pics, you could almost believe that she was still alive.