Ke$ha Wants to Have Sex With Coins Now
Apparently not even Photoshop can’t put an ass on her.
Ke$ha appears in the latest issue of Complex where she opens about her weird attraction to quarters and men with beards because her label is literally just scribbling gibberish down for her to say to keep up with GaGa:
What turns you on that people would find bizarre?
Ke$ha: Um, quarters.
Ke$ha: Yeah, like a bag full of quarters.
So a guy holding a bag full of quarters could potentially turn you on?
Ke$ha: Like a big bearded guy with a bag of quarters. I think it’s some weird pirate fantasy that was unfulfilled in a past lifetime.
Is there a specific type of beard that you’re into?
Ke$ha: I like the rugged, mountain-man beard, personally. I won’t discriminate, but my favorite kind of beard is one that could potentially be a homeless beard. Like, you actually have to discover if they’re un-groomed for a reason. I like a really unkempt beard.
So you’re saying to have a shot with you, I would need a homeless beard and something to do with a bag of quarters?
Ke$ha: You would also have to have a big dick, and I don’t really know anything about that. Then you’re probably good to go.
Anyone else get the feeling this interview ended with a mall Santa being raped beneath a parking meter spewing change or did I somehow enter Ke$ha’s subconscious again? No, wait, I see a pirate rubbing itself with Buffalo nickels. How do I keep doing this…