Ke$ha Wants to Have Sex With Coins Now

November 23rd, 2010 // 83 Comments

Apparently not even Photoshop can’t put an ass on her.

Ke$ha appears in the latest issue of Complex where she opens about her weird attraction to quarters and men with beards because her label is literally just scribbling gibberish down for her to say to keep up with GaGa:

What turns you on that people would find bizarre?
Ke$ha: Um, quarters.
Really?
Ke$ha: Yeah, like a bag full of quarters.
So a guy holding a bag full of quarters could potentially turn you on?
Ke$ha: Like a big bearded guy with a bag of quarters. I think it’s some weird pirate fantasy that was unfulfilled in a past lifetime.
Is there a specific type of beard that you’re into?
Ke$ha: I like the rugged, mountain-man beard, personally. I won’t discriminate, but my favorite kind of beard is one that could potentially be a homeless beard. Like, you actually have to discover if they’re un-groomed for a reason. I like a really unkempt beard.
So you’re saying to have a shot with you, I would need a homeless beard and something to do with a bag of quarters?
Ke$ha: You would also have to have a big dick, and I don’t really know anything about that. Then you’re probably good to go.

Anyone else get the feeling this interview ended with a mall Santa being raped beneath a parking meter spewing change or did I somehow enter Ke$ha’s subconscious again? No, wait, I see a pirate rubbing itself with Buffalo nickels. How do I keep doing this…

Photos: Complex

superficial

  1. RandaI

    Dear Ke Dollar Ha,

    You have no talent and a funny looking ass. Or is that your face? Buddum pshh.

    Randal

    • Who are you and where is the real Randal. I miss him.

    • nickyminajsstinkyasss

      haha.

    • another Randal

      This pic is not of the whore we all know and hate. ALSO, Lady gagagoogoo said that shit about a guy needing a big dick.
      So.
      Our world is so plastic and delusional that we are not even given real images of the “Celebrities” that the $money cult$ has deviantly fashioned for us.

      Nice way to complete the rape of our culture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. So does that mean she wants her fans to shove their money *directly* up her ass, thus bypassing her agent and her label entirely?

    Hmm.. I could get onboard with that.

  3. Cock Dr

    She looks female in these photos. That’s one helluva PhotoShop job!
    The quarters thing…..I won’t even touch that.

  4. Ke$ha in Complex
    MrsUri
    Commented on this photo:

    Roller skates. Edgy.

  5. chavs

    All photoshop… skank’s got no a$$

  6. zeke

    she is fucking disgusting.

  7. please die…

  8. shaft

    airbrush much? she’s not even remotely that attractive. i’d bang the shit out of the girl in these photos.

  9. Howdie

    Ke$hit……Aint going nowhere!
    Truer words have never been spoken. 2 years and we will all be saying Ke$hit who?

  10. its me fuckers

    Superfish, I think you read this wrong. What I got out of this is that she will have sex with a homeless guy with a big, scruffy beard for quarters.

  11. AdamG

    I think the better question is what turns men onto Kei$ha?

    Her “talent”?
    Her looks?
    Or the fact that you can be a homeless guy with $1.50 in change and have a good chance of jizzing on her stomach?

  12. FattyFatty2X4

    Fish, look at the talentless, skanky, hizzo’s you’ve posted today.
    Can we catch a break buddy?
    How bout a lil’ Snooki pleez.

    • ilikesake

      You want some pics of Snooki, go grab your disposable camera and find a pig pen. You know how long we’ve been telling him to STOP posting her?

  13. Ke$ha in Complex
    linds
    Commented on this photo:

    “ain’t going nowhere” … with her career?

  14. Reality Check

    sorry Kesha, we’ve seen your bikini pics, all it takes to get with a fat slob like you is a sandwich and a smile

  15. Ke$ha in Complex
    ARGH
    Commented on this photo:

    Lol…that photo is pure Photoshop fantasy. This chick has the lower body of a 45 year old woman.

  16. Ke$ha in Complex
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    Needs more fog

  17. jojo

    I think Grizzly Adams would stay away from this skank out of fear AND repulsion.

  18. Eddie Murphy

    You motherfuckers can talk shit about Ke$ha all you want. I’d suck his toes..

  19. Lady Blah Blah

    Not too shabby for a post-menopausal woman.

  20. alex

    Just when I thought I couldn’t dislike her more…

  21. Ke$ha in Complex
    jojo
    Commented on this photo:

    It says 22 comments yet there is only 3 why?

  22. Richard McBeef

    I’ll grow a scraggly beard, dump 20 bucks worth of quarters in a sock, and beat the shit out of her with it. That way there’s something in it for both of us.

  23. Drew

    She’s trying far too hard to get attention.

    There’s having weird fetishes, and there’s making stupid shit up so people continue to think you’re edgy and weird.

    Get the fuck out.

  24. Rough'ing with the stars

    Considering her depressed backside you would think shed rather discuss global issues such as arms trade, military spending, and causes of poverty. But nooooooo

  25. josh

    What a collection of uninteresting sayings. Dear kesha, please STFU, ugly bitch.

  26. The Listener

    She’s just saying any idiotic thing that comes to her mind. I can’t believe she actually thought before she spoke. Wanting a man with a large penis is a given among women. She didn’t have to say it in an interview. She comes off kinda slutty.

  27. Ke$ha in Complex
    H6E6X6
    Commented on this photo:

    *Note to self: Never give a homeless bearded man quarters, they’ve been through enough

  28. Ke$ha in Complex
    castallare
    Commented on this photo:

    Bleach-spotted denim? Check.
    Single black balloon? Check.
    Black kneesocks under black derby skates? Check.
    Mindless pop star with no shelf-life? Check. (+1 for the slouch)
    Fog? Perfect.

    It’s official: THIS is the most pretentious photo shoot I’ve ever seen. (And here I thought American Apparel was going to win every time.)

  29. H6E6X6

    *Note to self: Never give a bearded homeless man a quarter again, they’ve been through enough

  30. Waldo Jeffers

    They can’t even photoshop an ass on her, it’s so flat it’s useless to even try

  31. Hank

    How many vagina-quarters has this nasty skeeze made to date? I’d have to guess at least 12,012,000.

  32. Howdie

    Notice how when she fell down she landed on her back and not her butt? Butts can come in handy Ke$hat! Buy yourself one and see!

  33. Ke$ha in Complex
    Ace of Spades
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m thinking she had wires holding those skates up. Those things weigh a ton and if it weren’t for some dude holding her feet up… I doubt she’d be able to get them that high under normal circumstances.

  34. Lady Blah Blah

    The perfect Human Centipede: Kim Kardashian as the front, Paris Hilton as the middle (she’ll have to swallow what KK shits out), and Kei$ha as the end (as she doesn’t have enough ass to enable the surgeon to attach someone’s face to it; and as the end she’ll get the most shit, or shall we say, $hit).

  35. That’s because a clean-shaven man with a small penis has already beaten her senseless with the ugly stick.

  36. Ke$ha in Complex
    minajsstinkyasss
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwwwwww…why would he even pose like he is sexy and attractive, some people are so stupid these days, making this talentless fug famous.

  37. nickyminajsstinkyasss

    wow, they must have done some MAJOR overtime on the airbrushing and photo shop here.

  38. OMG FUCK! WTF????? I am trying to enjoy my cheap vodka and you gotta post about Ke&sha, a roll of quarters and a full beard??
    -NIGHT RUINED.

  39. >:^( My comment didn’t post but it’s okay I had a chance to brush my teeth after I … well honestly wiped my screen and dried my keyboard,
    I was enjoying my cheap vodka and you had to put up this post??
    Roll of Quarters, Ke&ha, and a full beard..–holding envelope to forehead–
    “How to prevent teen pregnancy.”
    NO BRISTOL, c’mon! goddammit where is my shotgun..

  40. UGH I SUCK! Shit Shit Shit! STUPID VODKA!

    • vannawhite

      Aww! Come on, Don’t ya just want to get up and dance when you here, “Take It Off”?! HELL NO!!

  41. timmy the dying boy

    Whatthehell is with her? How can anyone even survive with no ass?

    • Easy, instead of shitting like most humans, her shit constantly flows from her mouth.

      • Pi$$ed

        True that! Then some idiot records it and another idiot plays it on the radio and different idiots play it in clubs and who the hell are the idiots that actually buy the shit that flows from her mouth instead of her ass?

  42. vannawhite

    I may not have any music vidoes or albums out, but at least i can sing and I have an ass!!

  43. Ke$ha, Jersey Shore, The Hills, etc. A bunch of talentless imbeciles who are pulling in LARGE sums of money. WTF am I doing wrong???

  44. Ke$ha in Complex
    harridiculous
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a fucking arse…no need for photoshop.

  45. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Yes this is the best shes ever looked in her entire life and yes she has been photoshopped within an inch of her life. Her RELATIVES would look at this picture and say “Who dat?”

  46. Ke$ha in Complex
    Commented on this photo:

    cool!

  47. Thaye

    This is not the first post I’ve been reading here. And I must say, I have realized all you guys completely live up to the expectations one would have about the kind of people who roam a site called “the superficial”. You are shallow, pretentious and terribly, terribly arrogant. So, bottom line, most likely awful persons.

    May you find a glimpse of happiness and poise in your lives anyway. bb

  48. m

    why did they photoshop Sienna Miller’s face on her in picture four?

  49. And in other news, Homeless men across the country are shaving their beards in unison….

    If Ke$ha loves pirates that much, let’s send her to Somalia or the Sudan where there are Pirates still taking over ships. Wait, sell ehr to shippers, if the pirates find out about her fetish and know she’s on a ship, they’ll escort the boat and make sure it doesn’t get hijacked!!!

  50. Ke$ha in Complex
    kayk
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture gave me Syphilis.

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