‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Is On Hiatus Or Something

According to E!, production on Keeping Up With The Kardashians has halted in light of Kim’s robbery, but don’t call it a hiatus, even though that’s what a hiatus is, and this is exactly the kind of talk everyone wants to be happening right now. Let the milkening begin.

“Kim’s well-being is our core focus right now. No decision has been made as to when production will resume,” an E! spokesperson told JustJared.com.

While that blatant attempt to drum up ratings goes to work, according to Jezebel, most publicists don’t believe the people surrounding the Kardashians would be stupid enough to let them stage a fake robbery just for publicity – To which I say, they work for the Kardashians. Their souls are lost now. – but almost all of them agreed that Kris Jenner was calling Diane Sawyer before Kim had the duct tape off:

I think that is way too big of a situation for them to make up for press purposes. I think the Kardashian family is extremely shook up from this.​ ​I think Kim will most probably be giving an hour exclusive to one of the top news stations to come out with the story to the public from her experience. I am sure Kris was setting that up the second she found out about this.​

Yes, I’m sure the Kardashians are “extremely shook.” They’re probably speaking in complete sentences without taking a bite of salad between “likes.” That’s how upside-down their world is.

“Kimberly, I fear for your safety.”
“I, too, Kourtney. This has been most calamitous.”
“Shall we dine on salads now?”
“No. Today, we finish our conversation and then eat.”
“I’m so terribly frightened. This is unnatural.”
“We are surely broken and cast asunder.”

“I ATE THREE HIKERS IN THE WOODS!”

Go away, Khloe!

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Photos: AKM-GSI