Keanu Reeves on trial, somehow not for his acting

By: Tim Kinnealy / October 28, 2008

Shocker–Keanu Reeves is not the best of drivers, and now he’s being sued for it. I know, I know; it sounds impossible, but as E! Online reports:

A vengeful paparazzo has put The Devil’s Advocate star on the hot seat.
Keanu Reeves took the stand at his civil trial today and denied dinging a photographer with his car as he was trying to evade flashbulbs back in March 2007, allegedly leaving the photog with debilitating injuries.
Using his hands to illustrate the scene, the 44-year-old star testified that he inched his black 1996 Porsche 911 Cabrio forward slowly to prod the paparazzo in question, Alison Silva, to put down his camera and move away from the vehicle.
“Did you hit him?” Reeves was asked by his attorney, Alfred W. Gerisch.
“No,” the actor replied.
Reeves asserted his Porsche never touched Silva, insisting the camera man walked backwards, lost balance and tripped over his own feet.
“Are you sure of that?”
“Yes,” said Reeves, adding that the only contact between his car and the shutterbug was when Silva put his hand on the hood.
Silva sued the Speed star for unspecified damages stemming from “serious injuries” suffered to his left wrist, causing pain and suffering and severely limited his earnings capacity.
In his suit, Silva alleged Reeves was covering his face when he was behind the wheel and acted negligently when he pulled away from the curb.

I’m still not sure how dinging a paparazzo is grounds for a lawsuit instead of cause for a Congressional Medal of Honor, but then there’s a lot about the law I don’t understand. (For instance, driving without pants–when the hell did that become a misdemeanor?) But this should be an entertaining trial, if only for the testimony:

LAWYER: Could you please state your name for the record?
KEANU: …
LAWYER: Let the record show that defendant pointed to an image of himself on a tattered, yellowed newspaper ad for Little Buddha. Now, Mr. Reeves, can you tell the court what happened on the day in question?
KEANU: Can I have a Claritin?
LAWYER: Uh…???
JUDGE: I believe the defendant is asking for a clarification, counsel.
LAWYER: Very well, then. Can you tell me what happened on the day that the complainant alleges that you hit him with your car?
KEANU: Oh. Ummm….blueberries?
LAWYER: *rubs temples* Your honor, I would like to request a recess until defendant is able to properly answer the question.
KEANU: Whoa….

Photos: Zibi/WENN