Keanu Reeves has secret Canadian love-children?

May 29th, 2009 // 84 Comments

A Canadian woman, Karen Sala, has requested a court-ordered DNA sample from Keanu Reeves to prove he’s the father of one, if not four, of her children. Though she admits she’s not sure which ones. Nice. The Toronto Star reports:

With her children, aged 20 to 25, in post-secondary schools, Sala said she could use financial support to help them complete their education.
Sala said her children would like to know the truth about who their father is and she is launching the suit to seek “closure.”
“They grew up with the ex’s family always saying they weren’t his, so they had to contend with that,” she said.
In addition to the DNA test, Sala is seeking child support of $150,000 per month, retroactive to June 1988, as well as $3 million per month in spousal support retroactive to November 2006.
Sala is the first to admit that she’s no angel, claiming that she and Reeves had a sexual relationship before and during her stormy marriage. She also acknowledged she is not sure which, if any, of her children he has sired.
But Sala insisted that Reeves was aware that he might be the father of some or all of her children, noting that at least one of them bears a resemblance to him.

Naturally, Keanu’s people are denying he even knows Karen and find it odd that she’s just now asking for child support when her kids are in their 20s:

Paul Knell, Reeves’ Los Angeles business manager, questioned Sala’s motives, noting that all four children are now adults.
“Before you disparage my client and lend validity to this, there’s clearly something wrong with someone who claims child support after all the kids have grown. I’m just pointing that out,” Knell said.

Of course, everyone knows it’s impossible to sue Keanu Reeves because he’s the father of us all. Seriously, didn’t anyone see those Matrix movies where he’s Jesus at the end? That shit’s a true story. A kid on the bus told me.

Thanks to Adam who has no less than 800 love-children.

Photo: Getty
superficial

  1. @50 – That’s what I thought of. “I back fo da 275th time to finds out who is my baby daddy be!”.

  2. angel

    Why do Americans believe so many lies? So many people from the USA are ignorant and make fools of themselves when talking about healthcare and Canadians….it’s really embarrassing.

  3. do not panic: IN THE MONTREAL-SUROUNDING ARE ENOUGH FAGGOTS FOR SALE, folks!!

  4. Dan

    Fifty-fourth.

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  6. LPB

    Has he been sending her secret signals in his movies, too? Because if she can prove that, she’s got it made.

    “Canada-The Retarded Giant on our Doorstep!”

  7. Gando

    Is this woman sane?

  8. Darth

    If this is true then she late with asking child support! Weird! I don’t think she get far with this.

  9. Yeah, why ask for support now? Fishy.

  10. rmoore

    @22… Vimy Ridge… look it up France, Britain, and USA all failed to take it from the Germans, Canada took it in 12 hours. Viet Nam, Afghanistan, Iraq, epic fail. +in the war of 1812 Canada defeated the states and set the white house on fire… in fact, the white house is white because the yanks painted it white to cover the burns from Canada burning it down…
    canadian soldiers = the most feared in combat by the germans in WW1 and WW2.
    read a book.

  11. Kuroneko

    @ 23:

    The Americans tried to take it and failed during the war of 1812.

    @ 28:

    Quebec is not part of France. It is part of Canada.

    I’m really sick of the bashing going on from both sides. I consider both countries to be very similar in culture, and they both have their pros and cons.

    Do any of you seriously think most Canadians are fat, drinking beer and watching hockey right now? Sure, some of them are, but some people of every country are. I tend to associate with more sophisticated people, so I personally don’t know anybody like that. But, I enjoy being in Canada and knowing Canadian people. And I also enjoy being in the US and knowing American people. Can’t you all be a little more open-minded? What are you saying about your own country’s people by being rude to others?

  12. HoboMo

    This is the reason you INSIST on anal!

  13. OMG u american's crack me up

    My classy, classy friends south of the border, thank you so much for making me laugh.

    I particularly enjoyed #34′s “Canadienne” reference. Because apparently we are unfamiliar with the spelling of the English language.

    And with that, I will bid you a “farewell”, oh wait, I think in Canada we actually spell it: “adieu”… or do we?? Let me try something else: “Good night”, no wait, I spelled that wrong too! I think I should have spelled that as “bonne nuit” … or??? … Oh, I’m so confused… Am I in Canada or did I somehow end up in France?? Ooops, turns out I’m only in Quebec, or maybe just stuck in middle-school French class.

    Damn you to hell Quebec, and damn you to French class, damn you for confusing the American nation… how could you?

    Now if you’ll excuse I must be on my way, I’m joining the army. I’ve always wanted to learn how to ride a horse. LOL!

  14. Kristi

    This is so laughable! That woman sounds delusional and so twisted. She’s a money grubbing BIOTCH out for his money. Spousal support? You’ve got to be kidding. They weren’t even married!

  15. Kristi

    This is so laughable! That woman sounds delusional and so twisted. She’s a money grubbing BIOTCH out for his money. Spousal support? You’ve got to be kidding. They weren’t even married!

  16. A European Country Called France... Toto, we're not in Quebec anymore!

    - Canada can keep Michael J. Fox (yes, Marty McFly is Canadian), and America can keep Keanu Reeves.

    - Canada can keep Rachel McAdams, and America can keep Tara Reid (hiccup and fall down).

    - Canada can keep it’s English and French languages and embrace it’s (legally) mulicultural diversity, and America can keep it’s English and Spanish languages and continue to embrace it’s racial slurrs (and illegal immigrants – - it’s the patriotic thing to do.)

  17. Kristi

    Three words to describe this woman… GOLD DIGGER BIOTCH

  18. Kristi

    Three words to describe this woman… GOLD DIGGER BIOTCH

  19. Chery

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  20. Joe

    don’t be talkin poo about canadians eh? this could have easily been the other way around

  21. Eric

    All she wants is closure. AND FIFTEEN FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS!!! (i did the math)

  22. Bonzohazard

    When did Keanu get into Hogwarts?

  23. Kristi

    Well i hope its not true for his sake, but the lady should have come forward about this a long time ago not now. I hope its not true.

  24. Kristi

    Well i hope its not true for his sake, but the lady should have come forward about this a long time ago not now. I hope its not true.

  25. simute

    nonscense :D

  26. Sure

    It would have been nice for him to have children, or grown children! But if true, that would make him like his own Dad whom he said abandoned him. KARMA for not realizing early that he may be worse than his Dad when it comes to taking care of his own child – given the same situation as his Dad’s and not as rich actor who can provide well – and maybe should have forgiven his own Dad along time ago even if they still don’t get along.

  27. keanu charles reeves are not the father of her older kids and keanu charles reeves get a daughter but keanu charles reeves his daughter is dead and keanu charles reeves want make movies but keanu charles reeves do not time for kids at all and i live in oroville andyou ask his mother but at of keanu charles reeves and i know keanu charles reeves very hot sexy men – very good look men and keanu charles reeves is very sad beause his daughter is dead and want peoples leave keanu charles reeves and see i do love keanu charles reeves always and forever.i want be keanu charles reeves girlfriend forever.from donna lee edna hogan.

  28. keanu charles reeves are not the father of her older kids and keanu charles reeves get a daughter but keanu charles reeves his daughter is dead and keanu charles reeves want make movies but keanu charles reeves do not time for kids at all and i live in oroville andyou ask his mother but at of keanu charles reeves and i know keanu charles reeves very hot sexy men – very good look men and keanu charles reeves is very sad beause his daughter is dead and want peoples leave keanu charles reeves and see i do love keanu charles reeves always and forever.i want be keanu charles reeves girlfriend forever.from donna lee edna hogan.

  29. keanu charles reeves are not the father of her older kids and keanu charles reeves get a daughter but keanu charles reeves his daughter is dead and keanu charles reeves want make movies but keanu charles reeves do not time for kids at all and i live in oroville andyou ask his mother but at of keanu charles reeves and i know keanu charles reeves very hot sexy men – very good look men and keanu charles reeves is very sad beause his daughter is dead and want peoples leave keanu charles reeves and see i do love keanu charles reeves always and forever.i want be keanu charles reeves girlfriend forever.from donna lee edna hogan.

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  31. A math (whiz Im but clearly have enough time on my hands to work this out), but he really asking for around 130 million? I know these types of law suits that people shoot for the moon, but I did Keanu will be surprised if more than half their “esteemed ‘career.And much if that falls through, making the NBA Finals so you’re almost finished another good crop of rich celeb whores men to choose from.

  32. настя

    привет.Киану Ривз я его обожаю.=).И он не страшный поняли он красавец=). здесь просто то время сфотконо когда у него был кризис душевный из-за смерти жены и ребенка=(.НА НЕГО НЕ ГНАТЬ!А ТО ПОКУСАЮ

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