Keanu Reeves has secret Canadian love-children?

A Canadian woman, Karen Sala, has requested a court-ordered DNA sample from Keanu Reeves to prove he’s the father of one, if not four, of her children. Though she admits she’s not sure which ones. Nice. The Toronto Star reports:

With her children, aged 20 to 25, in post-secondary schools, Sala said she could use financial support to help them complete their education.
Sala said her children would like to know the truth about who their father is and she is launching the suit to seek “closure.”
“They grew up with the ex’s family always saying they weren’t his, so they had to contend with that,” she said.
In addition to the DNA test, Sala is seeking child support of $150,000 per month, retroactive to June 1988, as well as $3 million per month in spousal support retroactive to November 2006.
Sala is the first to admit that she’s no angel, claiming that she and Reeves had a sexual relationship before and during her stormy marriage. She also acknowledged she is not sure which, if any, of her children he has sired.
But Sala insisted that Reeves was aware that he might be the father of some or all of her children, noting that at least one of them bears a resemblance to him.

Naturally, Keanu’s people are denying he even knows Karen and find it odd that she’s just now asking for child support when her kids are in their 20s:

Paul Knell, Reeves’ Los Angeles business manager, questioned Sala’s motives, noting that all four children are now adults.
“Before you disparage my client and lend validity to this, there’s clearly something wrong with someone who claims child support after all the kids have grown. I’m just pointing that out,” Knell said.

Of course, everyone knows it’s impossible to sue Keanu Reeves because he’s the father of us all. Seriously, didn’t anyone see those Matrix movies where he’s Jesus at the end? That shit’s a true story. A kid on the bus told me.

Thanks to Adam who has no less than 800 love-children.

Photo: Getty