Keanu Reeves hangs out with random topless chick, is truly The One

June 17th, 2008 // 107 Comments

Keanu Reeves was spotted hanging out on the French Riviera with an unknown topless woman yesterday which forced top scientists to conclude that “Yes, that crazy ass Matrix shit is for real.”

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that will make you wonder why Point Break isn’t considered biblical canon. Patch me through to the Pope.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. ph7

    Not a hot chick in any sense of the word.

  2. omg FIRST!

    and I hate girls!

  3. duh

    She’s a gook actress named China Chow (poor thing, ESL parents can be unintentionally cruel). She’s his girlfriend. There’s this thing called “google”…

  4. Ang

    He needs to call Tank and download some muscle tone and a tan.

  5. White Howse Rap

    Mah electoral votes will leave you in a stupor.
    Ah’ll axe da Revrun Jeremiah put it in yo wife’s pooper.

  6. Jackson

    She looks like she has natural perky breasts unlike Kim Kardaskanks breast implants. She looks like she has a nice tight ass unlike Kim Kardaskanks big fat saggy ass.

  7. Mick

    They are both hot.

  8. Tobin

    First

  9. snarkymalarky

    damn, Keanu is pushing 43 yrs old! He’s still hot and one of a kind though! Better than Brad Pitt or George Clooney, imo.

  10. Spongebob Gangsta

    Q. What did Keanu say when his topless woman went left him?

    A. There is no poon.

  11. She could give me a couple pointers. :)

  12. Haha at #11 Spongebob Gangstapants…….good one!

    Ok, all I gots to say about Keanu is…………if you are going to continue to act in films, please do me a favor and take at least a couple dozen acting lessons. I will go halfsies..

  13. Randal

    This is exactly what makes some celebrities cool and other nos so much and here Keanu is showing you what cool is all about.

    Celebs are just people and here that’s exactly what Keanu is being seen as by this mysterious young lady, who no doubt has a soft spot in Keanu’s heart; just look at his friendly smile!

    Randal

  14. Spoiler

    YOU COULD HANG DRY CLEANING OFF THOSE NIPPLES!

  15. UCrawford

    The woman’s name is China Chow. She’s an actress who was in the Mark Wahlberg/Lou Diamond Phillips movie “The Big Hit” a few years back.

  16. China Chow??? WTF kind of name is that??? That’s as fucked up as “Keanu”, or “FRIST!!!”..

  17. No FRIST is hot. China Chow sounds like my dog. Keanu is just a dork. I could not sleep the other night and watched the Devils Advocate. If it was not for Charlize Theron , the movie would have sucked.

  18. Ted from LA

    You think that name is cruel? I took the advice of a fellow poster and “googled” her. She has a sister named Puppy.

  19. Agent Smith

    For get The One…. I like The Two…..

    yum….

  20. Agent Smith

    Forget The One…… I like The Two much, much more….

    yummmmm

  21. Ted from LA

    By the way, where is Binky? Has he been kidnapped? And if so, was it an inside job?

  22. albert

    she looks cute. she’s got some nice perky breasts.

  23. boobookitty

    I think this woman is actually his sister, Kim. Notice that he doesn’t look in her direction unless she is submerged in water up to her neck. They are very close, apparently, but this might be a bit too close.

  24. Fernando Valenzuela

    Ok, all I gots to say about Keanu is…………if you are going to continue to act in films, please do me a favor and take at least a couple dozen acting lessons. I will go halfsies..

    and I’ll pay the other half..anything to keep him from being a “bass player”….what was the band’s name…Dogshit?

  25. Grievousfish

    Hmmm… must have been a tad bit nippy out there.

  26. STevec

    Nice pair of capricorns !!

  27. Cherry

    #9 I totally agree. I think Keanu makes Brad Pitt look so plain and boring in comparison. Keanu’s smile just makes me melt.

  28. emily

    Keanu’s awfully pasty and is generally a terrible actor, but something about him makes me want to put a baby in him… so to speak.

  29. Hamper Lint

    Photo #8 is his best acting yet …. he is trying to look concerned.

  30. coolkid

    i don’t really like him as an actor but you can’t deny that his smile is genuine. he looks like a really down to earth and adorable guy

  31. britney's weave

    mmmmmmmm……… pasty.

    what the hell happened to him? he was so hot in “a walk in the clouds.”

    yeah, i watched that shit.

  32. Even though you looking a bit pale – Don’t worry Keanu.
    Personwooly – I’ve been having a few tech problems with the matrix lately myself.
    I just dial the 800 number – everything now OK.

  33. HuckyDucky

    And Binky makes an appearance.

  34. Computer Nerd

    Keanu is The Man!

  35. blah

    china chow is half asian and half white (father is chinese & scottish, mother is german & japanese).

  36. Binky

    #22 Ted. Was at the Lake.
    Also both my reg computers have died. (These little commentary gems have their genesis from ‘Safe Mode’) Oh. Well.
    Ok
    and… – they also banned me for a while…
    Cliff Notes : It’s about time !!
    Binky : Oh – come on Cliff – no one reads these things

  37. #25 haha…dogshit, dogstar, never heard one of his songs, oh wait yeah I did, but my brain has blocked out that memory..
    Good thing too, well maybe I will go on youporn er, I mean youtube…duh/

  38. Rob Reiner

    Wow, you could cut glass with those babies.

  39. blah

    Keanu better be careful. He could poke an eye out on those things.

  40. Halle's Berry

    damn, she’s got a fantastic body

  41. professor

    This truly makes me feel bad for him…no ones going to want to be actors anymore if you nosy idiots keep spying on them for 20 years after their big films!! Its not even funny anymore… “OOH, HES NOT AS HOT ANYMORE!”

    “YEAH, HES WHITE, HE SHOULD BE TANNER, AND SHOULD GET MORE MUSCLES”
    “HER BOOBS MIGHT BE REAL”

    Give me a break. This phase will definitely end soon though, they wont tolerate this b.s. much longer.

  42. jen hutchin

    Keanu is the cutest. But Ive always thought he was gay.

  43. Well, professor, I don’t really think anybody actualy said anything bad about him, just his acting skils and his stupid band, so…

  44. Molly

    I couldn’t be with someone if their nipples were that big.

  45. n

    “Ted’s” excellent nipple adventure…without “Bill”…!

  46. Kimberly

    I KNOW HER! THAT’S CHINA CHOW! Why are her nipples so big?

  47. Kimberly

    UCrawford….that is not China Chow’s ethnicity. Her dad is mostly Chinese with “a little English blood” and her mom is Japanese and German.

  48. Ted from LA

    My wife’s nipples are that big Molly. They’re a blast. Two of my favorite things in life… followed closely by the rest of her, our kids, my dog, college football Saturdays, beer, burgers on the grill (shut the fuck up vegetarians), jogs on the beach, deep sea fishing in Mexico, sleeping in on cold winter mornings, pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, and the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne. I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon, Molly, and cut through all this red tape, at a bar called O’Malley’s, where I show you those big nipples I was telling you about… you’ll change your mind.

  49. Hey, Ted, I like all those things too, you and your wife need to meet me at O’Malleys..

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