Katy Perry’s Breasts Just Proved God Is Real, Shit

January 21st, 2014 // 29 Comments
Of Course He Does
John Mayer Crappy Fur Coat Katy Perry Good Morning America Interview
John Mayer Tells Katy Perry How To Sing Now Read More »

In an effort to be taken more seriously as an artist, Katy Perry has downplayed her breasts for almost all of 2013 despite the fact her career was built on how huge they are and that time whipped cream shot of them. So while it’s nice to finally see them again on the cover of GQ, I could’ve done without the part where they prove God is real. Now you’re just fucking with me:

“I lay on my back one night and looked down at my feet, and I prayed to God. I said, ‘God, will you please let me have boobs so big that I can’t see my feet when I’m lying down?’ ” At age 11, “God answered my prayers,” she says, glancing south. “I had no clue they would fall into my armpits eventually.”

And how magnificent are these God-given breasts? So magnificent that a surgeon’s hands have never touched them. Although, that could have to do with the whole turning into a pillar of salt if they did thing.

“I’ve never had any plastic surgery,” she says proudly. “Not a nose, not a chin, not a cheek, not a tit. So my messages of self-empowerment are truly coming from an au naturel product.”

As for what GQ thinks of her au natural, baby?

LENA DUNHAM’D, BITCH! POW!” – Whoever edited this:

Katy Perry wearing only a bra and leather jacket was clearly photoshopped by GQ

Photos: GQ.com


  1. Wouldn’t mind humping this

  2. Katy Perry GQ Cover Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Must admit, this is one of the best damn photos I have ever seen of her.

  3. That’s a terrible photoshop job – half her body has disappeared

  4. Cock Dr

    There’s no need for cosmetic surgery in the Photoshop era.

    • It’s Photoshop that’s empowering women across the globe. Be comfortable in your skin, airbrush the fuck out of yourself.

      • The whole ‘self-empowerment’ schtick is such BS when you already are thin with giant boobs anyway. Talk to me about self empowerment and being comfortable with who you are when you look like Lena Dunham. It’s like people who were born rich saying money isn’t important. Nice try, but no.

      • Not to mention, Anthony, I doubt there are any celebs — or at least very few — that actually could “airbrush the fuck” out of themselves. Photoshop is a very sophisticated application and not something just anyone can master without loads of training and experience. I doubt most celebrities have that much time on their hands.

      • Urbanspaceman

        Yes but they have people to that for them.

  5. She truly is one of the greatest singers ever… until, you know, she starts singing.

  6. Katy Perry GQ Cover Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    so much cum spilled in the word ’cause of this photo

  7. Katy Perry GQ Cover Bikini
    The Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Things I love about Katy Perry photos:

    1) Boobs
    2) She cant speak
    3) Her boobs in crazy outfits

  8. Mohawk Disco

    Kudos to the guy doing the photoshop. He didn’t erase the tattoo in the mindless uncontrolled frenzy that is photoshop these days.

  9. Cher X

    Wow, that last pic is one of the worst photoshopping dealies I’ve ever seen. Word to the mag editors, go for subtle. People will notice if you give them weirdly skinny out of place proportions (see Kim Kardashian)

  10. That’s a really great picture. Can anybody blame vogue for re-touching Lena Dunham’s photos. She’s a fugly mess. They actually want people to buy thier magazine, you know.

  11. Jack Ketch

    How so when the tits are fake?

  12. cc

    I am glad we’ve graduated from stupid Chinese-character tattoos to meaningless sanskrit tattoos.

  13. Beautiful woman with gorgeous breasts, marred by that shit tattoo which I am sure was the suggestion of that asshole John Mayer.

  14. I think she’ll become a certified train wreck after John Mayer breaks up with her. She needs to stay away from actors and musicians.

  15. eh

    Just had an epiphany about Perry. In every one of her songs, there’s a moment in which she throws up into her mouth and then has to swallow it down while continuing to sing. Example: I kissed a girl and I [throws up in mouth] li-I-iked it. Or: “And you’re gonna hear me r- [throws up in mouth] -o-u-or.” Or: “You and I, gonna live for- [throws up in mouth] -e-e-e- [swallows] -vur.” It’s in every song, it’s like bulimia is her art.

  16. The only song of hers that I am aware of is the ROAR (or whatever it’s called), and I kind of like it. I agree with sunnyroberto She should avoid other celebs. As it happens, I’m available…

  17. Katy Perry GQ Cover Bikini
    eye of hornus
    Commented on this photo:

    Her “handler” must have a thing for boobs that are smashed down…it’s annoying. How about a push-up bra, just ONE TIME…damn

  18. fun fact

    She had a similar quote about praying for boobs in _The Sun_ back in 2009:


    After reading yesterday’s post here, I *knew* I’d seen something like it before, but couldn’t find it in my bookmarks. Thankfully, the Superficial held the answer all along.

  19. Katy Perry GQ Cover Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Want to like the previous comment, but too busy with my hands to sign up.

Leave A Comment