Katy Perry Won The War

Despite the fact I’d normally consider waving a giant-breasted married woman in front of the troops to be a cruel, sadistic joke, Katy Perry actually put on a commendable performance for The USO Presents “Vh1 Divas Salute the Troops” Friday night. Granted, I don’t know how useful a painful erection is during combat, I can’t imagine how it wouldn’t provide some sort of tactical advantage. Case in point: Just now, the pizza delivery guy refused to hand me my pizza and, instead, laid it on the sidewalk before retreating to his vehicle. I’m pretty sure that’s how we beat Hitler.

Photos: Getty, WireImage

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