Katy Perry Wants Russell Brand Back To Piss Off Her Parents

January 17th, 2012 // 27 Comments
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Probably because of using her divorce to preach about Jews controlling all the money – They forgot The Slutty Leprechaun Guild, too. – Katy Perry met with Russell Brand in LA over the weekend to supposedly discuss getting back together for the sole purpose of pissing her parents off. The Daily Mail reports:

The 36-year-old will have an emotional showdown with Katy, 27, to discuss their separation and finalise the impending divorce.
However, a source close to the Firework singer claims that she wants to fight to save her 14-month marriage and desperately wants to get back together with the long haired funnyman.
The source also said that Perry is not ready to start dating any other men and has not been influenced by her Christian parents, Mary and Keith Perry, who are keen to see her date someone more religious.

This is, of course, sad news for Tim Tebow but there comes a time in every man’s life when he has to learn giant breasts are for closers. That said, if you’re wondering if Russell Brand went right back to doing drugs after the divorce, he went right back to doing drugs after the divorce. Via People:

Asked how he’s doing, Brand, speaking to TV writers in Pasadena, Calif., replied, “Quite well, thank you. Are you asking because of recent events? You are making the mistake of seeing time as linear. The brilliant American author Kurt Vonnegut, he’ll tell you that if you imagine reality as experienced simultaneously, events become redundant.”

“Where you’ve gone wrong is assuming that I haven’t already divorced Katy Perry three times this morning in a never-ending Mobius strip. Next question. You, Dancing Heroin Needle in a Top Hat. — Why don’t these blokes understand me like you do? Well, I find your argument rhombus in nature, so we really have no choice but to parlay in the loo then, don’t we? Gentlemen, I bid you adieu!”

Photos: Fame/Flynet

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  1. Donald Trump

    Other than the fantastic set of tits on this broad – I can’t stand her.

    • Fondue

      You don’t say?

    • cc

      No kidding. While grocery shopping the other day, I had to sit through ‘Fireworks’ and that other fucking song about California girls or whatever. They are shitty songs and she cannot sing. Honesty, I’d be surprised if she could make it past the first round of judging at American Idol.

  2. Josh

    Brand is a genius. Katy….not so much.

  3. Jimbob

    Looks like her tits fell off. Flat as the original Kate Hudson in these pix… No tits=no interest…

  4. Katy Perry Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the hair? She looks SOOO much better with a natural color, not this easter egg sh*t she’s been doing.

  5. Dey Rapin Errbody

    Love Katy Perry, great voice. Congress is voting on SOPA in an effort to stop people from illegally downloading NYAH cat videos. Wikipedia is shutting down on Jan 18th to show support for illegal downloads of NYAH cat videos.

  6. drunk again

    I would love to drink a 6pk out of her gina… slurp

  7. I’d say Russell’s meeting with her to beg for the safe return of his coin-purse.

  8. Venom

    The most shocking part of this whole writeup was when The Daily Mail called Brand a funnyman. If they meant funny as in gay, and not the British meaning of gay, then yes, but if they meant funny in the sense of a comedian, then they are just completely incorrect.

  9. Austin "Danger" Powers

    Nice legs to go with her nice titties.

  10. Gia

    Fish, Will you marry me?You make me laugh everyday, and isn’t that the only thing women look for in men? You are the Joel Stein of breast and even bigger breast.

  11. EricLr

    Great, Russell Brand thinks he’s in Slaughterhouse 5 now. In reality, he’s just a pretentious douchebag surrounded by ass-kissers who won’t let anyone tell him he’s a pretentious douchebag. He and Perry make the perfect himbo/bimbo combination. I just hope their kids won’t have to be taught how to breathe.

  12. doctor snuggles

    don’t talk………..JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Britt

    This girl is about 2 seasons away from being the next Christina Aguielera.

  14. mind13ss

    Zoot from the Muppets at LAX?

  15. Katy Perry Minidress
    O'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice gut, fatso.

  16. spazmo

    All I can think about is Katy telling Russel that after thinking a bit she’s decided she’s ok with him wearing a diaper in a wheelchair for sex.

  17. Em

    Isn’t Katy’s real last name Hudson? Why’d the source give her parents’ last name as Perry and not Hudson?

  18. justmeeeee

    Seems somewhat irresponsible to say “is Russell brand doing drugs after the divorce, Russell brand is doing drugs after the divorce.” so nonchalantly without any shred of evidence to back up such a hurtful statement for someone who has been fighting, and beating, addiction. He has been clean for about 9 years now and shouldn’t have to put up with such careless statements from the media that could not only effect his sobriety but his career. Shame on you, you should be more careful.

  19. jules

    Shit that girl’s 27? I thought she was 21 so I gave her a pass about dressing like I did when I was 21 and was all about getting inserts put in the bottom of my jeans made out of Little Mermaid pyjama pants. Sweet lord, someone hand that woman a turtle neck and a couple of cardigans just for balance or some shit. No, nope, not a turtle neck, a dickie, a dickie will teach her about restraint. A dickie and a vest. And a pair of pleated slacks. That’s her punishment for terrible taste and apparently eyesight.

  20. The Royal Penis

    “Papa smurf can I lick your ass?”

    Yeah, lick my ass, bitch

  21. Rob

    If I were Russell I’d get back with her and introduce her to the dangerous brown…and ass to mouth.

  22. Patricia

    First, I think they soulhd change the name of the show to these two weeks in YouTube .Second is it me or Matt Raub looks like B.P. Richfield from Dinosaurs (The TV show)No offence

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