Katy Perry Wants Russell Brand Back To Piss Off Her Parents
Probably because of using her divorce to preach about Jews controlling all the money – They forgot The Slutty Leprechaun Guild, too. – Katy Perry met with Russell Brand in LA over the weekend to supposedly discuss getting back together for the sole purpose of pissing her parents off. The Daily Mail reports:
The 36-year-old will have an emotional showdown with Katy, 27, to discuss their separation and finalise the impending divorce.
However, a source close to the Firework singer claims that she wants to fight to save her 14-month marriage and desperately wants to get back together with the long haired funnyman.
The source also said that Perry is not ready to start dating any other men and has not been influenced by her Christian parents, Mary and Keith Perry, who are keen to see her date someone more religious.
This is, of course, sad news for Tim Tebow but there comes a time in every man’s life when he has to learn giant breasts are for closers. That said, if you’re wondering if Russell Brand went right back to doing drugs after the divorce, he went right back to doing drugs after the divorce. Via People:
Asked how he’s doing, Brand, speaking to TV writers in Pasadena, Calif., replied, “Quite well, thank you. Are you asking because of recent events? You are making the mistake of seeing time as linear. The brilliant American author Kurt Vonnegut, he’ll tell you that if you imagine reality as experienced simultaneously, events become redundant.”
“Where you’ve gone wrong is assuming that I haven’t already divorced Katy Perry three times this morning in a never-ending Mobius strip. Next question. You, Dancing Heroin Needle in a Top Hat. — Why don’t these blokes understand me like you do? Well, I find your argument rhombus in nature, so we really have no choice but to parlay in the loo then, don’t we? Gentlemen, I bid you adieu!”